Emotions
by MLyn1990
Summary: 14th Chapter Summary: After the defeat of Darth Nihilus, Alanah prepares for Malachor. But, before she leaves Citadel Station, she meets with the Admiral about a certain past acquaintance. Atton also starts thinking about their relationship.
1. The Ice Princess and The Pazaak Whore

Emotions

Chapter 1: The Ice Princess and The Pazaak Whore

Disclaimer: Starwars: KOTOR II: TSL belongs to Lucas Arts, Bio-ware, and Obsidian.

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Alanah's POV_  
_

_"Let me handle this..."_

This is the _last_ time I _ever_ let him handle anything.

I sat in a nearby table with my Zabrak companion, Bao-Dur, and his remote' close to the table Atton and that twi'lek played their game of pazaak. I sat, arms crossed, eyes shut tightly, eyebrows narrowed, and a deep frown on my face. 'This is ridiculous.' I thought impatiently to myself. This was ridiculous. I was suppose to be finding information about one of the Jedi Masters here in Nar Shaddaa, Master Zez-Kai Ell to be exact. And, here I was, waiting for that damned pilot of mine to finish his _rousing _game of pazaak.

I growled in annoyance as I heard another flirtatious giggle from the female twi'lek. No doubt in my mind that Atton was flirting with her. 'Why is this bothering me so much?' I growled again as I heard Atton chuckle in enjoyment. I should be used to Atton's flirtatious behavior by now. Every place we went to, he would be flirting with some other woman. That woman in the bar on Citadel Station... that salvager woman on Dantooine... now with this pazaak player in Nar Shaddaa. The worse part of this was, I was letting this get to me. 'There is no emotion; there is peace.' I recited that line of the Jedi Code in my head, it seemed to relax me for a bit, but I would soon need to recite it again each time I heard Atton use one of his lines.

"General?"

I opened my right eye and stared at Bao-Dur, "Yes?"

"Are you all right?" I could sense the concern in my friends voice.

I closed my eyes again and sighed, "I'm fine, Bao. Just thinking about our current mission." I lied.

"... All right, General." Bao-Dur was smart, he knew I was lying, but didn't say anything about it. Which I was grateful for.

"Ohh, that was a pleasing game, big winner." I heard the twi'lek cooed.

"Hey, what can I say, I live to please." I heard Atton chuckle. I rolled my eyes.

Atton made his way over to Bao-Dur and I, grinning. Both, Bao-Dur and I stood from our seats. "Are you done?" Bao-Dur asked in his usual clam manner.

"Yup! Heh, I sure scored big on that game. Pure Pazaak!" Atton smirked.

My frown deepened and I stayed silent. 'There is no emotion; there is peace.'

I felt Atton's gaze on me. "Are you ok, Alanah?"

"I'm _fine_..." I said in an unintentional irritated tone. 'Damn, my voice betrayed me!' I spun around and walked as calmly as I could to the Pazaak Den entrance/exit. I heard the foot steps of my two companions follow me.

"Bye, Big winner. It was a pleasure to play with you." I heard the twi'lek cooed in a seductively flirty tone. I instantly stopped as I heard Atton laugh and reply, "The pleasure was all mine."

I felt my grip on my light saber tighten. 'THERE IS NO EMOTION; THERE IS PEACE!' I screamed in my head. I was snapped back to reality as I felt a hand on my shoulder. I glanced back to see the hand belonging to Mr. Pazaak Whore, himself.

"Something up?" he asked.

I threw him an icy glare, shrugged his hand off my shoulder, and strode right out of the Pazaak Den, out of this bloody Cantina, and straight to the direction of the Ebon Hawk. But, not before hearing Bao-Dur say to Atton, "You're not much of an Ladies Man as you thought, are you Atton?"

Atton's POV

"You're not much of an Ladies Man as you thought, are you Atton?" Bao-Bur joked and his remote beeped, almost like it was mocking me. 'I hate droids...'

I stared at the Zabrak and growled, "Shut up..." I walked off to the direction Alanah stormed off to. 'What the hell did I do!' I snorted. 'I swear, that woman is so confusing.'

I tried to catch up with her, but these damn crowds were always hell on Nar Shaddaa. I tried to spot her through the crowd, but it was no use. First off, Alanah Halo, the 'Exile', was the shortest Jedi I have ever met. A jedi that only stood 5 feet and 3 inches tall! Impossible to spot in a large crowd.

I finally spotted her. She was near the entrance of the docking bay. I pushed through the crowd to make my way up to her. Once I made my way through the entrance of the docking bay, I spotted Alahah only a few feet away from the Ebon Hawk. I ran to reach her. "Dammit, will you wait up?" I yelled to her. I saw her stop for a moment, but continued to the Hawk.

As she entered the hawk, but I had caught up with her and I finally reached her and grabbed her wrist. "What the hell is your problem?"

Alanah's POV

I had just entered the Hawk, but a strong hand grasped my left wrist.

"What the hell is your problem?" Atton yelled, annoyed.

I turned my head and stared at his hand and then at him, "What the hell do you think you're doing? Let go of me!" I ordered. I was able to snatch my hand away, but Atton gripped my fore arms and forced me to face at him.

"You're not getting yourself out of this one, sister! What's with the new 'Ice Princess' attitude?" he yelled irritably.

I glared at him, "Let go of me, Atton."

"Dammit, you're the most-"

"What is going on here!" The cryptic voice of Kreia ordered, as she appeared. Right on cue, Mical(the Disciple), Bao-Dur, his remote, Visas, and T3-M4 appeared. Atton loosened his grip on me and I stepped away from him. "Nothing..." we both replied as we avoided the gazes around us. Visas disappeared into the starboard dormitory, T3-M4 rolled his way over to the security room, Bao and his remote walked to the garage, Kreia lingered for a bit; staring at both Atton and I, until she disappeared to the port dormitory, leaving only Atton, Mical, and I in silence.

Mical turned to me with a concerned expression, "Alanah, is-"

"Mical, I'm going to meditate, would you like to join me? I would gladly appreciate _your_ company." I cut him off, as I walked over to his side.

Mical blushed slightly, "I- of course, if you would like to."

I gave him a charming smile, "Very well, then." I said as I lead us to the Cargo Hold, since it was the only place on the Ebon Hawk where it was not occupied by anyone or would distract us from meditation with the beeps or the bright lights of the computers. As we walked off, I couldn't help but smirk, as I heard a jealous or irritated growl and the initial storming off to the cockpit from a certain pazaak playing scoundrel.

End.

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Author's Notes: That's chapter one, I hope you liked it. I hope I didn't make my Exile appear too weird(for lack of a better word) here, but I wanted to portray her emotions, showing she's quite capable of normal emotions, that contradict the Jedi Code, and emphasizing what effect Atton has on her. And if you haven't noticed, he effects her a lot, which will be confronted in future chapters. And yes, I did call Atton a Pazaak Whore. Now... Force Persuade You WILL review my fic... now. 


	2. Mixed Emotions

Emotions

Chapter 2: Mixed Emotions

Disclaimer: Starwars: KOTOR II: TSL belongs to Lucas Arts, Bio-ware, and Obsidian.

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Atton's POV

I sat in the cockpit, fuming.

Earlier...

"_Mical, you and Bao-Dur will accompany me today." Alanah said calmly in our usual group meeting held in the main hold of the Ebon Hawk._

"_Of course, but wouldn't be better if Atton accompanied you, he knows Nar Shaddaa better than both Bao-Dur and I do." Mical questioned._

_I saw Alanah frown and throw me a glance, "I already know most of Nar Shadda by memory now, so Atton won't be needed."_

_My eyes widened and narrowed, 'I'm some sort of guide!' _

"_And anyways," she continued, "This would be a good opportunity to train my two new padawans." She said, acknowledging Bao-Dur and Mical._

_The three(four if you count the Remote) left the Ebon Hawk soon after and I was left behind._

Present...

So that was my real purpose to Alanah? I was just her damn pilot and a Nar Shaddaa tour guide? Then again, why would I think I was anything more than that to her. I admit, a small part of me was hoping I'd be more to her. More than her pilot, more than a crew mate, more than... just a companion by circumstances. I constantly wondered what she saw when she stared at me with those beautiful olive green-gray eyes of hers. I admit, I am strongly attracted to her. Hell, that was an understatement. I'm crazy over her. From the very moment I first saw her half naked self in Peragus. She was... is beautiful; in every shape or form, inside and out.

I smiled when I picture her in my head. She was fairly short, with a slim and petite, but curvy form. Usually, it was hidden under her Jedi robes. And she wore her jet black hair in that unique style of hers. It was like a wrapped bun with two braids sticking out and another pair of long braids that hung freely on the left side of her face. She wore little make-up, just what I assume is clear lip gloss and eyeshadow. She had this refreshing glow to her, it was... calming.

I loved everything about her; her sarcastic wit, serious nature, her outrageous courage, graceful fighting skills, and everything else. One of the things I loved the most... I loved hearing her laugh, maybe because she never did laugh very often. That's where I would come in and try to humor her. I would try to spark laughter from her, or even a giggle. Just to be able to hear it. The first time I truly succeeded to make her laugh was on Citadel Station, when we were under house arrest. I had just taught her how to play pazaak and she had just beaten me in her first game. I made one of my '_witty_' comments, trying to flirt again. She caught my pick up line and laughed. When she laughed, she would cast her head down, close her eyes, and place her right hand almost over her mouth. She looked... very cute. When she finished, she looked back up a me, and I swear, I saw her eyes sparkle.

Flashback

_Alanah looked up at me, her eyes almost seeming like they were sparkling. "I haven't laughed like this in such a long time, thank you."_

_I blushed a little and grinned, "Well, I'm glad my sad attempt at flirting amuses you so much." She laughed again._ _"You have a pretty laugh... you should laugh more often."_

_She stopped laughing and looking at me, blushing. It was my turn to laugh now, she just looked so cute. She soon followed suit, and joined me as we laughed. Together._

End Flashback.

I sunk in my pilot's seat and started to play a mental game of pazaak.

"Didn't I instruct you not to distract her?" I jumped up and out of habit, I pulled out my blaster, spun around in my seat, and aimed it at whoever the intruder was. I growled in annoyence to see it was only Kreia. I placed my blaster back on it's holder.

"Oh, look, it's my least favorite cryptic old witch. What the hell do you want?" I sneered sarcastically.

"_You_ are a distracting _her_ from the task at hand. I repeat, did I not specifically order you to not to cause her such distractions?" She sneered in distaste.

"Her? Oh, you mean Alanah. Listen, you old hag, if you're talking about last night, _I_ didn't do _anything_! I don't even know why she was mad a me in the first place."

"Are you that ignorant? You are more of a fool than even _I_ anticipated," She sighed frustratingly. "Fool, do you not even recognize how much _your_ actions effect her?"

"What are you talking about? What are you saying?" I glared at her.

"Speaking to an imbecile, such as you, is a waste. So I'll warn you again, do not make any more unnecessary distractions for her." With that she stormed off, probably to meditate again.

"_Schutta._" I insulted under my breath as I returned to my game of pazaak.

Alanah's POV

Hours later

I frowned.

"General, it wasn't that bad." Bao-Dur reassured.

"How would you know? It's not like you had to do it." I threw him a glance and continued our way through the crowds of Nar Shaddaa, trying to get back to the Ebon Hawk.

"But, at least we did get some very handy information. And you did dance very beautifully." Mical comforted and tried not to blush from the recent memory of his dancing master.

"Not helping, Mical..." I sighed.

It had been hours since we last left the Hawk. The sky above us was already dark and filled with the faint glow of many stars. I stared one particular star... a shooting star. It reminded me of something.

Flashback

_It was too late to go back to the Hawk or to Khoonda. So we, as in Mical, Atton, and I, decided to camp outside the the Enclave Ruins. There was no real danger here right now, we cleared out all of the unwanted beasts and we were taking turns as watchmen. It was currently Atton's turn on patrol, but it would end soon and be Mical's turn. It was the middle of the night and the glow of the fire still burnt brightly. Mical was resting up for his turn, but I couldn't sleep. Being here on the Enclave brought up too many memories, both good and bad. I thought meditating would help ease myself, but did nothing. So I just stared aimlessly into the fire. "Hey..." _

_I jumped slightly, looked behind me, and let out a breath of relief. "Atton, don't sneak up on me like that."_

_The glow from the fire allowed me to see him smirk. "This is a first, usually you sneak up on me." He made his way over and sat beside me. "Any reason why you're not getting a beauty sleep? Not that you need it anyways." _

_I giggled slightly, "You seem to find the most unappropriated moments to flirt with me, don't you?"_

_He chuckled, "Guilty as charged, but I can't help it." I smiled. "But, seriously, aren't you tired?"_

"_I can't sleep."_

"_Don't tell me, you don't trust me on patrol so you're going to wait til Mical's turn to get some shut eye." I was pretty sure he was joking, but I knew for a fact he didn't like Mical at all._

"_Of course not, I trust you. I just have a lot on my mind." I reassured him._

"_It's being here, isn't it?" I looked at him._

"_Maybe.. it's just... I can feel the echoes here." I closed my eyes for a second and sighed, "Wait a sec." I stood up and went to Mical's sleeping form and waking him up. As soon as he was up and went to his patrol, I sat back down next to Atton. _

"_You grew up here, right?" he asked, looking at me._

_I nodded, "I was born on a planet near the mid-rim, but when I was discovered to be force sensitive, I was sent here, to the Dantooine Jedi Enclave... I was only five at the time. Here, I learned the ways of the force, how to use a light saber, and eventually became a Jedi Knight. It was here, where I met Revan and Malak and joined them to fight in the Mandalorian Wars. And then, I was exiled." I sighed._

"_This place holds a lot of memories, huh?" I hear him whisper. "You're really strong, you know that. To be able to confront your past like this."_

"_Yeah, well... it's kinda forced upon, you know. It's not like I have a choice."_

"_No, you do, Alanah. You're doing all this on your accord. You say the 'force' is guiding you, but in my opinion, you're guiding the force. You had many chances to turn back or stray from the 'light', but you stayed on this path, because you wanted to. You're strong... and very dedicated..." _

"_Atton-"_

"_Hey look!" Atton said, point up to the sky. _

_I looked up, "A shooting star..."  
_

_"Make a wish." Atton whispered and closed his eyes. I looked back at him and blushed. At that moment, I never realized how handsome he was. Maybe it was the glow from the fire or something, but at that moment, I looked at him differently. I really wanted to know what he was thinking right now, but his thoughts are difficult to read. I leaned to rest my head on his shoulder and clung onto his arm. _

_'I wish... I wish to stay strong... for you, Atton...' and with that, I fell into the first peaceful slumber I've had in years._

End Flashback

I blushed at the memory, 'I can't believe he has such effects on me.' But, thinking of Atton, made me remember something.

Flashback

"_The male you travel with; he is not what he seems."_

"_Who do you mean?" I looked back at Bao-Dur and Mical, both had a confused expression on their faces._

"_Not them. The other one."_

"_Atton? What about him?"_

"'_Atton', that is what we knew him by... Do not trust him... he is a murderer."_

End Flashback

'Atton and I... have a lot to discuss about...' I frowned again.

As we continued our way back to the Hawk, I ignored the many gawking stares, various cat call from the local men, and lustrous offers from drunks/or perverts. It's not like I wasn't asking for it, walking through the city in this skimpy dancer's outfit. I felt so embarrassed, not only for plainly wearing this outfit in public, but for dancing for a hutt in this outfit. I felt so dirty! I remember the perverse look Vogga gave me as he watched my every movement before he passied out. I grimaced at the memory. Then I paused. I felt _something_... a disturbance. I notice Mical and Bao-Dur pause as well.

"Did you feel that, General?" Bao-Dur asked.

I nodded, "We have to get back to the Hawk, immediately!"

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Author's notes: I'm leaving it here, a nice little cliffhanger for you to enjoy. Anyways, in this chapter, all I wanted to do is have the reader's try to understand Atton and the Exile's feelings for each other, right now. Atton admits to having feelings for Alanah(the Exile), while Alanah is still kind of figuring out hers, though it's pretty obvious she is quite infatuated with the scoundrel. I wanted to add a little fluff here too, before I let the real drama and action set in. Which is the explanation for all the little flashbacks. And, of course, some funny moments. I had to put the dancer's outfit somewhere. And don't worry, more dancer's outfit humor in Chapter 3, which will be coming _soon_. 


	3. From Bad to Worse

Emotions

Chapter 3: From Bad to Worse

Disclaimer: Starwars: KOTOR II: TSL belongs to Lucas Arts, Bio-ware, and Obsidian.

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Atton's POV

I groaned in pain, 'I fell like I've just been trampled over by a herd of crazed bantha.'

"_Atton?"_

'Whose voice is that?'

"_Please wake up! Atton!"_

'A-Alanah?' I slowly opened my eyes to see a blurry figure above me. My vision slowly cleared and I was able to recognize the figure, it was Alanah, with a worried expression on her face. She was cradling me in her arms... it felt... nice. Once she noticed my eyes had opened, she replaced the previous worried expression with a sigh of relief. I groaned, "What happened?"

"A few 'unwanted guests'..." Alanah informed, exhaustion clear on her face.

"Unwanted guests?"

She nodded, "The Red Eclipse, a gang of slave traders, boarded the Ebon Hawk, while Bao-Dur, Mical, and I were gone. Apparently, they weren't quite happy to see another ship on 'their' landing pad. I'm assuming, they stunned you while you weren't aware of their presences and you fell into unconsciousness. Luckily, Kreia, Visas, and T3-M4 were able to defend the ship until the rest of us got here."

'Great... I make myself look even more like an idiot by getting stunned by a bunch of slave trading thugs.' I said sarcastically in my head. 'What a way to impress her even more, Rand.' I struggled to sit up, I groaned in pain from the ache in my head. "Is that so? Well, I hoped you taught them that its impolite to trespass on private property." I remarked sarcastically, while rubbing my forehead.

"His men went down easily. Actually, I persuaded the leader to give up. He may be stupid enough to enter the Hawk unaware of the people inside, but he is not that stupid enough to try and attack five jedis all at once." She paused and stared at me.

I looked at her, "Persuaded, huh? I guess wearing a get up like that could persuade anybody, really..." I smirked, "Now, that's a vast improvement from jedi robes or that underwear you wore back in Peragus." 'I will NEVER get this image out of my head.' I thought mentally to myself. Apparently, I must have been drooling quite a lot as I stared at her chest.

Alanah's POV

I felt the blood rush up heavily in my cheeks as I blushed furiously. I also felt a rush of emotion plow through me; mainly anger and embarrassment. "HONESTLY, ATTON! You can't control yourself can you!" I yelled angrily, noticing his lustful gaze at my chest. Now, I was blushing from both anger and embarrassment.

I saw him smirk and lean closer to my face, "Not when an extremely beautiful woman, such as yourself, is teasing me." I could recognize the intense animal lust he directed at me. It was too strong, too intense, too overwhelming, too... frightening...

... it scared me... _me_...

_That... Was... It... _

_**SLAP!**_

I stormed out of the cockpit in a huff and went straight to my bed in the port dormitory. I angrily opened the compartment, grabbed one of my jedi robes, and stomped straight into the cargo hold for some _deep_ meditation, all while avoiding the accusing or confused query of the rest of my crew mates. Oh, how I _desperately_ needed to clear my mind and my emotions...

Atton's POV

I sat there as a wave of my own emotions seem to knock me into oblivion. _Confusion... embarrassment... lust..._ I placed my hand over the painful stinging sensation on my right cheek. _Anger... frustration... shame..._ I stared at her retreating form disappear from my sight and heard the loud slam of the cargo hold door. _Weakness... longing... aching..._

"Great Rand... you sure screwed things over... big time..." I sighed, as I stood up from the floor of the cockpit, walked and entered to the medbay, and started rummaging for an ice pack. Eventually, I found one and placed it on my soar cheek. I turned around to exit the medbey, but with my stroke of luck, I ran into Mr. Prince Charming, himself. He stood in my way, with his arms crossed and a serious look on his face. I rolled my eyes, "Well, isn't Mr. Holy Jedi? What? Come from your darling Master Alanah Halo to give me a piece of your mind?" I sneered.

"Atton-" Mical warned.

"Shove it." I growled and shoved past him, returning to my place in the cockpit.

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Author's Notes: This was a short chapter, but I felt it was appropriate to end it here. Poor Atton, things seem to be getting even rocker between Alanah and himself. More Drama soon to come, be sure of that! And a very special thanks to all my lovely, lovely and totally kick ass reviewers! Mahal Kita!(I love you!)

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Reviewer Responses: 

nath: Of course, I'm continuing! Don't worry about it, and thank you for reviewing!

Waygate: But, I must force persuade... it's fun! YAY! AN EXILE/ATTON FANBOY! That's rare. Though, it is true of what you say, my Exile was trying to 'redeem' herself as a jedi again. shrugs

Kuramas Girl Angel: We used the same character, that's really cool! Heh, yeah, mine was a consular too.

Tela: Thanks for reviewing! I'll try to update every week.


	4. Lighten the Mood

Emotions

Chapter 4: Lighten the Mood

Disclaimer: Starwars: KOTOR II: TSL belongs to Lucas Arts, Bio-ware, and Obsidian.

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Alanah's POV

I meditated in the silence of the cargo hold for about an hour and a half; I centered myself and pondered about my previous actions. I opened my eyes and stared at the palm of my right hand. 'How could I let my emotions get out of control like that?' The redness had disappeared, but the memory didn't. I could still remember the sound of my hand colliding with his face. 'I let anger get the best of me... but...' I sighed, 'I couldn't help it... I couldn't control it...' My thought eventually found it's way to the one person who had caused all these emotions to arise. He was the only person who could irritate me so effortlessly. 'Hell, he gave _Atris_ a run for her credits.' I shook my head disapprovingly, 'I shouldn't be thinking such things anyway.' With that, I continued to meditate.

An hour later... 

I felt more content now. I had let the previous anger and insecurities disappear into the depths of darkness, hopefully never to return. I felt better. I felt calm...

I stood up from the cargo hold floor and walked over to the door. I unlocked it, opened it, and gasped when I came face to face with the one person I did not wish to confront, at least not yet.

"Atton?"

He looked afraid and uncomfortable. I guessed he was on his way to see me, as I saw his left hand in the 'about to knock the door' position. He quickly put his hand in his pocket, look down to the floor, and scratched the back of his neck. "Err... Listen... I know I'm the last person you want to see right now, but... I'd really like to say sorry about... you know... all the crap you have to put up with me..."

I stared sympathetically at him, 'It must have been hard for him to approach me like this. I probably wouldn't have had the same courage.' "I guess... we should talk... we have a lot to discuss anyways." I said calmly, moving to the side to allow him to enter.

"... yeah..." He agreed, slowly walking in.

Once he entered, I closed the cargo hold, but didn't bother on locking it. There was no need to anyways. "Atton-"

"Before you start, I want to say what I have to say first." he interrupted.

I stared at him and nodded, "Go ahead..."

"First off, I'm sorry for being _too_ forward on you, back in the cockpit. I had no right to and it was inappropriate." he apologized, uncomfortably.

"It's ok, you don't have to apologize for that. I should apologize for slapping you. It was highly uncalled for and I've should've been able to control my emotions better-" I stopped at mid-sentence when Atton placed a finger on my lips. I stared up at him, confused and shocked.

"NO! You had _every_ right to react the way you did. _I deserved__it_. Seriously... I did. Anyways, let my finish... " he interjected, while he removed his finger, "Second, I'm sorry for whatever I did that pissed you off that day in the cantina-"

"No wait, you don't need to apologize for _that_." I looked down at the floor, ashamed. "It was _me_... I let my emotions and personal feelings get the better of me." I sighed, "I'm suppose to be a Jedi now and I shouldn't have let those things dictate my actions or my better judgement." I looked up at him, shame and regret clear on my face. "I'm sorry, Atton. I'm sorry for targeting my regrettable and immature actions on you." I hung my head down, unable to look at him. I felt a pair of strong arms encircle me in a gentle embrace. Then, one of the hands came to my face, tilting it; which forced me to look up at him, and rested on my cheek. I looked up at him, confused. I tried hard no to let my blush show. I tried _really_ hard.

Atton's POV

I looked down at her, "Don't ever regret your actions. Your actions make you... _you_. I never want you to regret being _yourself_."

"But, I'm a jedi. Jedi can't have their emotions fly out like the way I did." she frowned.

"Maybe so, but you're human. Humans feel emotion and it get's the best of them sometimes."

"But-"

"No '_buts_'." I 'ordered'. I removed my hand and placed it on her back. I saw her sigh, defeated, lean in my embrace, and bury her face into my chest. "So... things are cool between us now, right."

She brought her head up and smiled a little, "For now." she teased.

"I'll take that as a yes." I smirked down at her. "So... you were jealous of that Twi'lek I was playing pazaak with? Don't worry, I prefer women of my own species."

"Atton." she warned.

"I mean, I know she was pretty hot and all, but no reason to be jealous of. She could get a million plastic surgeries, but could NEVER compare to you." I smirked.

"Atton." she warned again, slightly blushing.

"Seriously, you've got a body that could stop a war! Now, I've seen _plenty _of women, but not one of them can _ever_ be close enough to compare to you."I chuckled. I was surprised when I heard her begin to giggle. I looked down at her, slightly confused. I then felt her arms finally return my embrace and felt her tremble with laughter.

"You're always able to lighten the mood." she laughed into my shirt.

"What can I say, it's my special talent." I chuckled. Soon we were both laughing out loud, in each others arms. Unknown to both of us, the cargo hold door opened up.

"Oh sorry!"

Our attention was brought to the entrance of the cargo hold; and there stood Bao-Dur, with a shocked expression on his face. Both Alanah and I gasped and separated from each other. 'Damn it! He just had to interrupt us, didn't he?' I glanced at Alanah and saw her blush heavily. She glanced back at me, but then looked at the floor, slightly embarrassed.

"Err... maybe I'll come back later." the zabrak said uncomfortably and started to leave.

"No! What did you want Bao-Dur? Is it urgent?" Alanah said.

'Yes, Bao-Dur, what was so important that you had to interrupt Alanah and I's _special_ moment.' I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, annoyed.

"General, we received a holo message from someone by the name of '_Visquis_'." Bao-Dur informed.

A Few minutes later...

We all gathered outside the Ebon Hawk and watched the holo message. When it ended, I rolled my eyes. "Good thing it's not a trap." I remarked sarcastically.

"No Atton, I think _it is _a trap." Mical exclaimed.

I looked at him, annoyed. I was about to retort something _witty_, but, 'Forget it, way _too_ easy...' I thought. I looked over to Alanah, "So, what are you going to do?"

Alanah sighed and crossed her arms, "What else? I'm going to meet with this _Viquis, _what other alternative do I have? I know it's a trap, but it's the only way I can meet with an Exchange representative and get this damned bounty on Jedi lifted."

"Are you sure you should go alone?" Visas questioned.

"I'll have to, I have no choice." she sighed, rubbing her temples in annoyance.

She soon left, leaving us to wait for her return. We all watched her back as she disappeared into the dark alleys of Nar Shaddaa on her way to the Jekk'Jekk Tarr. Everyone made their way into the ship, but I stayed outside.

"Atton?" I voice behind me called out.

I glance back to see Bao-Dur, "I'm going to the Cantina. I'd rather be playing Pazaak or having a drink of Juma, than wait on the ship." I said, before running off. That wasn't the real reason I didn't want to stay in the Hawk. It was Alanah. I had a bad feeling about this whole _Visquis thing_. I just had to warn her.

Alanah's POV

I was on my way to the Jek'Jek Tar at the Docks' north end.

"Alanah!" I stopped and looked back. I saw Atton run towards me. I waited for him to finally reach me.

"Atton? What are you doing here?"

"Listen, the Jek'Jek Tar is very dangerous, especially for a human. And, now the Exchange is involved." he warned, "I have a bad feeling about this whole thing and I... I just don't want you to get hurt or worse." He stared at me with concerned eyes. "Here, just in case..." He handed me some antidotes and medkits.

'He came all this way for me?' I smiled at him. "Thank you, Atton. I really appreciate your concern." I leaned up and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. I turned around, about to leave for the Visquis encounter when I felt Atton gently grab my wrist. I turned my head and stared up at him. He was blushing and looked embarrassed.

"Err... when your done... I'll be right here... waiting for you..." he whispered, blushing.

I smiled softly and nodded, "I'll come back, when it's all over." With that, I ran off to the direction of the Jek'Jek Tarr. I know Atton wasn't really going to wait outside for me, at least not at that same spot. He was going to the Cantina to wait for me there. What he was going to do in the Cantina didn't concern me, right now, I had more important things to focus on.

"So, you're the jedi causing all of the commotion." A female voice said out of nowhere. I stopped immediately and looked around. "You know, for someone with a huge bounty on their head, you don't really know how to keep a low profile." Finally, a young redhead, dressed in green leather appear from a nearby ally.

"What's it to you?" I eyed her cautiously. I held my light saber in my right hand, just in case.

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Author's Notes: Done with chapter 4! Hazzah! Anyways, I decided to give Atton and Alanah a break and to give you all a treat! Therefore, a bit of Atton&Alanah(Exile) fluff to make all you fangirls and fanboys squeal in delight. I originally wasn't planning on adding more Atton&Alanah(Exile) fluff, until a few more chapters. I wanted to create more drama and conflict between the two, but I'll save it for future chapters. I tease. :wink: Thank you for reading and thanks to all my wonderful reviewers.

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Reviewer Responses:

Tela: Thank you for reviewing! Heh, yeah I know about Atton's real name. Randy Jaq? I thought it was just Jaq. :shrugs: Oh well, Atton will always be Atton Rand to me; Atton Rand the Pazaak Whore. :snickers:

N. Snicket: Thank you for reviewing! Really! I actually inspired somebody? Yay! Good luck with your fic.

Waygate:ROTHLMAO: If I had put something like that, Alanah would've given Atton a black eye! Or drill her light saber through his head. :lol: 'Mr. Prince Charming', I'm glad someone notice that little 'Easter Egg'. Mical sounds just like Prince Charming from Shrek 2, doesn't he? I think they have the same voice actor. :shrugs: Thanks for reviewing!

Sarah: Thanks for reviewing, glad you loved it!

Kuramas Girl Angel: Great minds do think alike! Atton is a perv, one of the reasons I love his character so much. It also makes it more fun to wrie about him. Sadly, Atton doesn't react when your PC wears the dancer outfit. He doesn't even say anything when your dancing for Voggo the Hutt and he is present. Damn Obsidian... I would have loved it if when you talked to Atton, while wearing the dancer's outfit, he'd say something flirty/perverse/funny. But, noooo... us fangirls get nothing. :sigh: Thanks for the review!

Trillian4210: Thanks for reviewing. I absolutely love your work. You're a fantastic writer! I'm glad you liked my writing style. I was concern it wasn't really good and I was hoping my vocabulary didn't make it seem I was a C average middle school student. I'm actually really self conscious about my writing.


	5. I’m Not Taking No For an Answer

Emotions

Chapter 5: I'm not taking no for an answer.

Disclaimer: Starwars: KOTOR II: TSL belongs to Lucas Arts, Bio-ware, and Obsidian.

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Alanah's POV

I sat in the center of the Audience Chamber of GO-TO's yacht, meditating. What else was there to do? After being tricked by that bounty hunter, Mira, fighting my way through the Jek'Jek Tarr, meeting with that shutta, Visquis, and getting kidnaped by GO-TO, there wasn't much. I was hoping the others would find me soon and come to my rescue, but that was a slim chance. I doubt they even know I've been kidnaped. I continued to meditate, centering myself and clearing all negative thoughts so I could think of a reasonable plan to get off this blasted yacht.

Then, I felt _something_... a slight disturbance, maybe. I then heard blaster shots. I opened my eyes, turned my head slightly to my right, and stared at the door behind me. _Something_ was happening at the other side of it. I stood up and walked slowly to the door. To my surprise, the door's security had been tampered with and it opened, revealing a small figure. I gave out a relieving sigh.

T3-M4 rode in, beeping enthusiastically. He stopped right in front of me and beeped happily. I smiled down at him and bent down to his level. "Well, isn't it my knight in shining armor. Have you come to rescue me?" I smiled at him, patting on the his 'head' as he beeped in response, "Did you come all by yourself?" I asked looking behind him. I heard a few blaster shots and the sound of a droid malfunctioning.

"Pure pazaak!"

I felt my heart skip a beat and my smile widen as I heard that phrase. It belonged only to _one_ person. "Atton?" I called out. I stood up quickly and made my way over to him; T3-M4 following closely. He entered the hallway with an exhausted expression in his face. He spotted me and quickly made his way over, meeting T3 and I halfway. I smiled and tilted my head, "I thought you were going to wait for me back in Nar Shaddaa?"

He grinned sheepishly, "Well, I wasn't going to just stand around and do nothing when I heard you were kidnaped." T3-M4 beeped.

I looked down at T3, then at Atton, and smiled, "Oh, he did, did he?" T3-M4 beeped in response,

"What?" Atton looked confused.

"T3 said you threw quite a fit when you heard I was kidnaped." I said, teasing the Scoundrel. T3 beeped again, amusingly.

Atton blushed, "I did not!" he said defensively, while glaring down at the little droid.

"Anyways, how did you hear about that anyways? I didn't think anybody knew I was kidnaped by GO-TO." I asked.

"The bounty hunter told us... Mira, I think her name is"

"Her!" I yelped, "Where is she now?"

"Back in the Ebon Hawk, with everyone else." he answered.

"But, how were you all able to get inside GO-TO's yacht anyways? This yacht is heavily armed and I doubt GO-TO would've just picked up any old ship except-"

"One of Vogga's freighters?" He interrupted, grinning.

I looked at him shocked, "You didn't? But, how?" T3 beeped and I looked down at him, "So you sneaked into Vogga's warehouse and got a transponder code from one of Vogga's freighters to disguise the Ebon Hawk. Then you changed the Ebon Hawk's ID signature with it." T3-M4 never ceases to amaze me. I thanked him for risking so much for me, while it made me wonder why T3 would go to so much lengths for me in the first place. I stared at Atton and wondered the same thing about him and the rest of the crew.

"Can we go now? Not that I don't appreciate the reunion and all, but I can't stand being in this ship any longer. It's like a damn droid cruise line or something." he said, clearly displeased with his current location.

I nodded, "Let's go, I don't want to stay on board this yacht any longer." T3-M4 made his ahead of us and I followed. I stopped when a hand gently grasped my left wrist. I looked back and stared at Atton with a slightly confused look on my face. "Atton?"

He blushed slightly, "I... " he paused, smirked, and shook his head, "I just wanted to tell you... I'm glad your ok..."

I smiled, "I'm glad I'm ok too..."

Atton's POV

After the facing _even more _droids and _even more _bounty hunters, we finally made it back to the Ebon Hawk. As the three of us walked up the loading ramp, I couldn't help but to think, 'I _never_ want to see another droid or bounty hunter _again_.' We were finally aboard the Hawk when we came face to face with... a huge black droid and the redheaded bounty hunter. 'Spoke to soon...' I growled, annoyed.

"It's you..." I heard Alanah said, not really pleased to see Mira again or to find one of GO-TO's droids. Couldn't blame her though...

"I'll set course back to Nar Shaddaa." I said, leaving Alanah back to her glaring contest and interrogation of Mira and the droid.

Much later, back in Nar Shaddaa... 

We arrived back in Nar Shaddaa an hour ago. It was still night and day wasn't coming for a few more hours, considering that a day in Nar Shaddaa is actually 87 hours... and we've been here for about a total of... what... 48 hours by now... As soon as we landed, Alanah took off with Mira and Visas for some 'unfinished business'. She was going to meet with that Jedi Master she mentioned before. Master Z-something... I couldn't remember...

After playing two mental games of pazaak, I was starting to get bored. I was getting tired of staring at random blinking buttons and was feeling kinda claustrophobic in this cockpit. I got up and walked out, only to be greeted by a huge rusty orange droid.

"Irritated Statement: Oh joy, another meatbag." it said.

"Who the hell turned you on?" I exclaimed. '_Another droid_! ANOTHER ONE! As if we didn't have _enough_ already!' Not only that, but it was the same kind of droid, that attacked us back in Peragus and Telos, an assassin droid.

"I see you've met HK-47 already." said an amused voice from the star port entrance. I saw Bao-Dur enter, wiping his hands with a rag.

I pointed accusingly at him, "_You_ didn't? Don't tell me you're the one who activated it"

Bao-Dur shook his head, "_His_ name is HK-47, and no, I didn't activate him... The General did."

"_A-Alanah_?" I stammered. I saw her tinker with it a few times, but I didn't think she would activate it. I even doubted that she could, so I never worried about it.

"Statement: Indeed, the organic you call Alanah Halo, my new Master, reactivated me about precisely one standard hour ago."

I grimaced... '_More_ droids... how wonderful...' Suddenly, the cockpit didn't seem so bad anymore. I gave an aggravated sigh and went straight back to the cockpit.

Moments later... 

I began to count the ticks in the power couplings, when I felt the presences of someone behind me. I looked back and saw Alanah entering the cockpit. "Hey? Shouldn't you be resting or meditating or something? I'd figure you'd be tired from your little adventure."

Alanah slumped lazily into the co-pilot's seat. "I'm not tired." she said simply.

I raised an eyebrow. She looks so stressed lately. I frowned slightly. 'Damn! Now she has me doing the '_frown_' thing!' I snapped out of my thought when an idea came to mind. "You know what, Babe?" Alanah looked over to me, arching her right eyebrow. "You stress yourself out too much. You need to relax more." I smirked.

Alanah frowned, "The more time I spend relaxing, the more time the Sith have to gain an advantage over us. We've been on this journey for about two and a half standard months and we've only located two Masters."

"Hey, don't beat yourself up about it." I stood and walked over to her. "How about you and me head to the Cantina for a drink, y'know, to unwind a little." I suggested.

She looked at me with an unimpressed expression. "Atton-"

"I'm not taking no for an answer." I smirked at her.

She sighed, "_Fine..._"

Later...

We left the Ebon Hawk and headed for the Cantina. I was a little surprised she agreed to go to the Cantina. I glanced down at her; she held a serious expression on her face. 'A few drinks and she'll lighten up.' I thought to myself. We entered the Cantina momentarily, and choose to sit in one of the circular tables by the window. Alanah removed her outer robe, placed it behind her chair, and sat.

"So, what will it be?" I asked.

"Just a Juma is fine." she answered, drawing her attention outside the window.

"Two Jumas, it is." I said, walking over to the bar.

I walked over to the bar and was greeted by the bartender, "What will it be?"

"Two Jumas." ordered. The bartender nodded and went to work on the drink orders.

"So... I noticed your lady friend over there." the bartender said, making conversation.

I looked at him, "What about her?"

"Nothing, she looks really troubled."

I glanced back at Alanah and saw her simply looking out of the window in deep thought, "Yeah, well... a lot has happened..."

The bartender nodded, "You know... there is a rave over at the eastside district in that new nightclub, '_Steller Galactica_', not far from here. Maybe you and your friend should check it out." he suggested as he handed me the two Juma Juices.

I looked at the old bartender and grinned, "Thanks for the info, old man." I gave him some credits and carried the two drinks for to Alanah.

When I arrived, I set one of the drinks in front of her and sat down of the opposite side. Alanah snapped out of her thoughts, looked at her drink, quietly thanked me, held the drink in one hand, and drank quietly. I took a gulp of mine and looked at her, "Hey... have you ever been to a rave?"

Alanah looked at me and set her drink down, "A rave? No, I haven't. Why?"

I gave her a sly grin, "Oh... nothing"

Alanah tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. "Um... ok..."

Alanah's POV 

We finally finished with our Jumas, and Atton got up from the table. I figured it was to order us another round of Juma. "We're going." he said.

I looked at him, confused, "Now? But, I thought the plan was to stay here and relax."

"Plans have changed, Babe." he grinned, "Remember when I mention to you about going to a rave?"

"You were serious? Atton, I don't know about this-"

He placed a finger on my lips and said, "I'm not taking no for an answer.", then flashing that _damned_ sly grin of his.

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Author's Notes: And that's chapter 5! Hazzah! More light hearted fun for Atton and Alanah in this chapter, but it won't last. :evil grin: Feh, it's been five chapters already and I'm _still_ in Nar Shaddaa. Oh well, anyways, next chapter be sure to look out for three things; a rave, confessions, and most importantly, drama. Oh, and no 'Reviewer Responses' for this chapter. Sorry, it'll return for the next chapter. But, a special thanks to all my readers and reviewers! You guys are awesome, seriously! 


	6. A Rave, a Kiss, and a Vicious Confession

Emotions

Chapter 6: A Rave, a Kiss, and a Vicious Confession

Disclaimer: Starwars: KOTOR II: TSL belongs to Lucas Arts, Bio-ware, and Obsidian.

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Atton's POV

"What do you mean you won't let us in!" I yelled in annoyance. I glared at the huge, ugly, green Gamorrean bouncer in front of me. The giant oversized pig snorted and squealed. I growled in frustartion. I didn't understand a '_word_' this overgrown nerf-herder said, but I could sense it was along the lines of '_You're not getting in this club, Human._'

A small gentle hand found it's place on my shoulder. I glanced back and looked down to Alanah. She glanced up at me, "Let me handle this." she said with a hint of mischievousness and impatience in her voice and walked in front of the Gamorrean.

I smirked, 'That sly little minx...'. I knew exactly what she was going to do. I've seen her do this a thousand times by now and I've seen this done from '_previous_' past experiences. 'The Jedi and their mind tricks.' I frowned a little and stared at the ground when I started to reminisce about my past experiences with other Jedi. I started to feel sick to my stomach. I didn't want to think about back then. _EVER_. But, lately, those memories stirred in my mind. Then, I made the mistake of letting Kreia find out about my past. The old witch crawled her way into my subconscious and discovered my secret, and eventually used it to her advantage. I growled when I thought about the old hag. 'Damn old schutta...'

"Atton?" I looked up and saw Alanah with a worried expression on her face, "I got us in... are you okay?"

I grinned sheepishly, mentally placing my mask back on. "Nah... I'm fine... spaced out a little, y'know?" She simply nodded. "Let's get inside, shall we?" I grinned idiotically, grabbing her hand and leading her to the entrance. As we passed the Gamorrean bouncer, he waved and smiled stupidly. I raised an eyebrow and Alanah waved back at him. I looked back at her, "What did you do?"

Alanah smiled softly and winked, "Force Persuade has its _'after effects' _on certain species."

"You're a sly one, Babe..."

In the club...

The fast music blared loudly, multicolored likes flashed, commotion of all languages were everywhere as we entered. To the far right, there was a long bar with lots of neon signs and lights everywhere. There booths and tables for groups to sit and drink, bar droids roaming around taking orders, and twi'lek waitresses too. The huge dance was covered with humans and aliens, alike; all danceing to the fast beat of the music the DJ played. There were even hovering platforms where Twi'lek dancers were dancing as spectators watched or danced along.

I looked down at Alanah, hoping she wasn't too overwhelmed by everything. She was looking around; her expression mixed with amazement and anxiety. She looked very cute. She noticed my stare and I grinned, "Wanna dance?" I offered, she blushed slightly, "And don't say you can't dance, 'cause I asked Bao-Dur about the dancer outfit you were wearing earlier. He told me _everything_." I laughed when she blushed heavily and muttered 'I'm going th force choke that Zabrak when I back to the ship...'

First we walked over to the personal item drop off. We handed our stuff to the Duro; which consisted of my two blasters, my ribbed jacket, Alanah's outer robe, and her light saber. He placed them in a locker for safe keeping, gave us some type of release form, and told Alanah to come back before we leave to retrieve our stuff.

We walked over to the middle of the dance floor. I grinned over to her. She looked embarrassed and just stood there. "I didn't think Jedi were scared to dance," She frowned and I grinned, "Or maybe you would prefer to dance in front of a Hutt instead of me." I teased. She finally gave in and started dancing when another fast beat song was played in the background. I watched her dance as I did. She moved perfectly to the beat of the music. She danced gracefully, yet seductive in the same time. It was like I was memorized. I watched her every movement and became hypnotized. 'She's a hell of a lot better than any Cantina dancer I've ever seen... and I've seen a lot...' I thought to myself.

We danced for what seemed like an hour or more. Our bodies were hot and sweaty from dancing and from the lights that beamed down on us. Even Alanah's hair wrap had become undone. Somewhere during the fifth song was playing, she had unwrapped it by herself. She then tied the ribbon around her left wrist. All that while still dancing gracefully. This was the side of Alanah anybody rarely saw. The side that let her guard down; simply living her life with worrying about the Jedi, the Sith, or saving the galaxy. For the first time, I saw her actually having fun, or laughing uncontrollably, or even smiling without a hint of sadness behind that smile. I smiled, 'And to think... I was the one that gave her this moment.' That made me feel great inside.

It was around the ninth song, we were dancing quiet close to each other. Then, some schutta ass wasn't paying attention and bumped into Alanah, which caused her to fall into my arms as I caught her. I glared over to who ever bumped into her, "Watch where you're going, Hutt-smut!" I looked down at her, "You okay?"

"I'm fine." she said as she slowly brought her head up to look up at me, while still clinging onto my arms.

Then it was like everything went slow motion and everything around us seemed to fade until their was only us. Her eyes met mine and we stared into each other's eyes, like we were both searching for something in the depths of them. Unknown to me, I had brought my right hand up and resting it on her cheek. I don't know if it was the force or something else, but whatever it was, it was slowly bringing Alanah and my face closer and closer until it was mere centimeters apart. Until... until our lips finally met each others. We were kissing. We kissed softly, but passionately- it was like all the tension that had formed between us lately had seemed to disappear in a snap. Her hands gripped onto the cloth of my sleeves, as if she was desperately trying to cling onto me. My right hand stayed on her cheek, while my left hand found its way around her slim waist and rested on her back. I wanted to stay this way forever with her, but I knew we both needed air soon. About a minute later, we slowly broke apart, breathing heavily from the lack of oxygen. All that was on my mind at that point was how much I wanted to crush my lips onto hers again- to feel her soft warm lips on mine once more. I couldn't describe the kiss. It just felt incredible- it felt so... so right. Our eyes stayed locked to each other's and there was a long silence.

"W-we..." Alanah breathed, "we should get back to the ship..." she whispered, breaking her gaze and started walking through crowd. I was left dumb founded, 'Wasn't that suppose to be the part where we were suppose to confess our feelings and start making out?' I sighed and followed her.

Alanah's POV

We walked out of the club in awkward silence after retrieving our possessions. I attached my light saber back into its original place on my belt and slipped into my robe. In the corner of my eye, I saw Atton put on his jacket and place his blasters onto their holsters. We walked in silence back to the direction of the Ebon Hawk.

The kiss was still fresh on my mind. I tried not to think about it, but I couldn't help it. The warmth of his lips... the taste... the softness... the emotion emitted from both of us. I felt something I hadn't felt in a long time... love. I had almost forgotten how it felt like... to be kissed... to be loved and love in return. I had sworn myself after what happened during my exile, I wouldn't love again. I just didn't want to experience the pain from love again. But, here I was... falling in love with Atton... _no_... I'm not falling in love... I was _already_ in love him. I should have realized that back on Dantooine... that night on the Enclave Ruins...

"_Do not trust him... he is a murderer."_

I stopped dead in my tracks when I remembered what that Twi'lek back in the Refugee Center said. "Something up?" I looked over at Atton, who looked at me with concern.

'What did that refugee mean? Atton... what are you hiding from me?' I avoided his gaze. We were standing near the center pit of Nar Shaddaa, near the entrance of the Refugee Center. I walked over to the center and leaned on the railing. "Atton... I need to know something..."

I felt his gaze on me, "All right," he walked over and leaned on the railing beside me, "what did you need to know?"

I kept my gaze down the center pit, "I met someone here on Nar Shaddaa, who say he knows you."

"Yeah? That's a surprise. Did he say I owed him credits too?" he chuckled. Something told me he was avoiding something... hiding...

"He says you're not '_Atton_' at all. That you showed up on Nar Shaddaa _during_ the Jedi Civil War."

"I'm as '_Atton_' as '_Atton_' will ever be!" he snapped, "And whoever _your trusted informant_ is, he's right, I _did_ show up on Nar Shaddaa during the Jedi Civil War... along with a lot of other refugees."

I turned to face him, keeping my right hand on the railing, and looked up at him, "Is there something you want to tell me?" I asked seriously.

"_No_, because you're asking about it," he sneered, facing me and shoving his gloved hands into his pockets, "If I wanted to tell you anything, I would have come and told you. Anything else?"

"Will you clam down? I just wanted to know. No harm meant." I said crossing my arms.

He looked at me disbelievingly, "Is this an interrogation?" he laughed, "If so, you're terrible at it, _especially_ for an Ex-Jedi... or _whatever_ you are." He looked at me coldly, "Why don't you just crawl in my head and try to dig out whatever _you're_ looking for rather than asking about it?"

"Atton, you know I wouldn't do that." I tried to reassure him, "Anyways, if you got a problem, let's settle this right now."

"You know what? _I_ helped _you_ get off Peragus. If _I_ hadn't been there, _you_ wouldn't have gotten of the administration level." he gave out an aggravated sigh, "I'm trying to help you. I don't know why I'm bothering." he turned to leave, but I stopped him by softly grabbing his arm.

"Why are you trying to protect me?" I asked softly. 'Why did you stay? You could have left after Telos, but you decided to stay. _Atton..._' I thought to myself.

He sighed heavily, "I don't know, I'm not sure. I even don't understand it half the time."

I stared at him, "Atton... I just want to know where you were before you arrived on Nar Shaddaa."

"You know what?" he shrugged my hand off his arm, "Not once did I ask you about the Mandalorian Wars. _Not once._" He glared at me harshly, "I heard about Dxun. _Everyone has. _I heard about Serroco, and I sure as _hell_ know about Malachor V. What makes you think _you've_ got the right to interrogate _me_ on anything? _You've_ got plenty of lives to answer for- _all you Jedi do._"

I looked at him sadly, "I did _a lot _of things I wasn't proud of- and I _am_ sorry for the lives that were lost, on both sides." Did he think I didn't regret what I did back in the War? Every day I regret... and guilt has not disappeared... I have lived with it for _ten_ years now.

"How could you even live with yourself after Malachor? Is that why you went back to the Jedi Council? Hoping they'd kill you?"

I looked up at him, my eyes widened in disbelief, "It wasn't like that!" I yelled, defensively.

"_Wasn't it?_ Maybe you thought they'd forgive you," he sneered, "Sure, you might have thought they'd execute you. But Jedi don't kill, do they? At least not their prisoners. Maybe you were counting on it when you went back in chains." he stepped forward, "So you got off easy- you were exiled, brushed under the cargo ramp, _another dirty little Jedi secret._" he walked only a few inches in front of me, leaned in so his mouth was next to my ear and said in a deadly and poisonous like whisper, "I'll tell you- all those Jedi at Malachor? They _deserved_ it. _Every last one of them_."

He lifted his face and took a step away from me. My eyes were wide from shock as I looked at him. How could he say that! I stared at him, looking for any sign of remorse for what he said. There were none. He was emotionless. No regret. No pain. No nothing... I felt anger boil inside me.

**SLAP!**

I felt a single tear cascade down my cheek after I slapped him. My right hand tingled from slapping him so hard. I let my right had fall to my side and I balled my hands into fists. "How could you?" I whispered, "They did_ not_ deserve it!" my voice rose, clear with anger, "How you say something like that! Why would you say something like that!" I screamed.

**SLAP!**

My left hand tingled this time. Atton now had a sore red hand print on each cheek. I glared him angrily, but my vision was slightly blurred by tears threatening to fall. Atton hadn't moved from his spot. His face turned to the right(his right) from the impact of my slap. There was a deadly silence, in which the only thing that could be heard was the regular city commotion and our heavy breathing.

"Because," Atton said, turning his face to me, "Jedi lie. And they manipulate. And _every_ act of _charity_ or _kindness_ they do. You can drag it out squirming into the light and see it for what it _really_ is." he said, deathly clam, while rubbing one sore cheek., "The galaxy doesn't need Jedi arroganceor Jedi hypocrisy anymore."

"The Jedi are guardians of peace. They are _not_ as you describe!" I argued back.

"The _Jedi_... The _Sith_... you don't get it, do you? To the galaxy, they're the _same_ thing; just men and women with _too_ much power, squabbling over religion, while the rest of us burn." he looked at me square in the eye, "At least the Sith are honest about what they're killing for. The Jedi are pacifists... _except_ in times of war. They're teachers... _except_ when it comes to telling their students the truth. And when they save you, it's only so _you_ can suffer _more_."

I shook my head, disagreeing, "You're wrong, Atton. That is not the way of the Jedi."

He scoffed, "Whatever- just leave me alone. I don't know why I'm wasting time with you anyway." He turned to leave, to go back to the Ebon Hawk. I didn't stop him. I stood there, not moving an inch. I let the tears I held previously, finally fall. I stood there for a few minutes or more, until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and saw the kind eyes of Master Zez-Kai Ell.

"Master Zez-Kai Ell! What are you doing here? I thought you were well on your way to Dantooine." I gasped, but not bothering to wipe my tears away.

"I was, but I sensed a great disturbance in you. So I came to investigate." he answered, "There is much confusion and distress in you. Come, we will meditate on this." he suggested, leading me to a different direction from my ship. I followed behind him.

Atton's POV

An hour later...

"Atton, where is she?" Mical asked.

I looked at him, annoyed, "I told you already- I don't know."

"But you were the last one seen with her! You and her go off to only the force knows where for hours, then you come back... without her!" Mical said, obviously worried to death.

I rolled my eyes, "Listen, we had a fight and I left. I don't know where she is now." And frankly, I don't gives a rat's ass right now.

Mical frowned, "Atton, if you don't remember, she had just been kidnaped a few hours ago. How could you just leave her?"

"Listen to yourself, you're like a lost little puppy without her? Pathetic." I sneered, "She's a big girl, she can take care of herself."

Mical was about to say something else when a loud and very angry voice yelled that literally shook the ship, itself. "WHERE IN THE BLOODY HELL IS THAT SCHUTTA ASSHOLE?"

Mical and I glanced at each other and headed for the main hold. As we entered, we encountered a frightened T3-M4, a displeased Kreia, an emotionless Visas, a worried Bao-Dur and Mira, and two annoyed droids; GO-TO and HK-47. Then, there was Alanah, with her back facing us, while she herself was facing the crew.

"Alanah!" I heard Mical gasp, relieved to see his master well and unharmed.

Alanah looked over her shoulder and reached for something in her robe- her silver single bladed light saber. She ignited it and ran over to me. I was knocked flat down on the ground, and the end of her light saber was very close to my throat, so close, I could feel the heat generating from it. I looked up at her, shocked. She glared down at me. She was clearly very mad and I... I was a _dead_ man.

"Wow... he must've made her really mad." I heard Mira remark.

"Alanah what are you doing?" Mical asked, careful not to anger her even more.

"Interjection: Master if I must interfere for a moment, before you decimate the shaggy meatbag. Suggestion: Might I suggest the use of my services, as my assassination protocols would clearly be of use. Observation: And, this meatbag is clearly unworthy to be killed by the likes of you, Master. I would gladly do away with him, since he seems to displease you so much." HK suggested.

Alanah moved the blade away from my throat and took a step back, "Get up." she ordered clamly.

Hell, I may not have been the smartest person in the galaxy, but I'm smart enough to know when to follow orders from a enraged woman... an _enraged female Jedi _none the less. I staggered up, obediently. Alanah glanced over to HK-47, "HK," the droid walked over to his master, "While I deal with this schutta, I want you to guard the entranced to the cockpit and the security room. Shoot anybody who comes within one foot of you." she ordered, keeping her glare on me. The others looked at her shocked or frightened. She was dead serious about this.

"Proud Statement: Master, I am honored to be in your services." he said in a battle-ready voice, while quickly equipping his blaster rifle.

She glared coldly at me, "You. Me. Cockpit. _Now_." she ordered as she pointed her light saber straight at my chest.

I obeyed. I walked to the cockpit with her following me close behind, with her light saber still ignited and pointing to my back. We arrived at the cockpit, Alanah shut off her light saber, and turned to lock the cockpit door.

I leaned back to a wall and crossed my arms, "You didn't have to threaten me with a light saber, y'know?"

She turned around and crossed her arms, "Yeah, but I find I'm more persuasive with a light saber in my hand." she looked at me seriously, "Atton... I would like to know more about your past, _especially_ if we're traveling together."

I knew this conversation would pop up eventually- it was inevitable. I sighed, "Well, don't get attached to me- I don't like it."

"I don't think we've done one thing you've liked since Peragus." she chuckled lightly.

"Well, you haven't seen anything yet." I combed through my hair with my hand, "I have this habit... I'm a deserter. It's what I do."

I saw her straighten, "Ok, now we're getting somewhere... So... you served in the war?"

I took a seat in the passenger seat that was behind the pilot's seat. "Served in both of them. Against the Mandalorians, before and after Revan, and again... when Revan declared war on the Jedi."

"You were a _Sith_?" she asked, disbelief in her voice.

"That's just a name- it's what we did that was important." I looked at her, seriously, "But, it was more than that- You were there, you knew how easy it was to hate the Jedi who sat back in the Republic '_evaluating_' the threat... and watched us die against the Mandalorians."

She frowned, "Why did you desert?"

I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, "Because, you can't believe in the Republic anymore after the Mandalorian Wars. After Revan, _nothing_ was the same. Right after that final battle at Malachor, I was right there with the rest of the defector, because it was the right thing to do."

She stepped forward, her hands balled into fists, "_The right thing to do?_" she questioned, "How was that the _right thing to do? _You took an oath to the Republic- what you did was _betrayal_! Not only that, but you answered war with war... What you did was _wrong_!"

I looked at her and stood up from my seat, "_No, it wasn't_. We needed the Jedi during the Mandalorian Wars, _more than anything_. The Mandalorians were slaughtering us by the millions. _The millions_. You were there at Serroco, when they turned the stereb cities into glass craters. At Duro, when basilisk war droids rained like Meteors onto the orbiting cities and when the Mandalorians set fire to the Xoxin plains on Eres III- the fires that still burn. Without the Jedi who turned on the Council- without you, the Republic would have lost the war, and we would all be Mandalorian slaves or corpses."

"That was no reason to start another war against the Republic and end more lives." she said quietly, while walking over to the other side of the cockpit, opposite of me, and keeping her back facing me. "Instead... you all became Sith..."

"If that's what you call knowing when to fight and when to kill, _then yes_, but you can't really break down people into Sith and Jedi and expect everything to make sense. We were loyal to Revan. _That_ was enough. She save us."

She glanced back, "What happened next?"

"After Malachor, after the Mandlorian Wars, that's when the Sith teachings started spreading through the ranks. We knew where our loyalties lay- to the Jedi who came to help us, not the ones who sat back on Dantooine and Coruscant, watching us die. So when those Jedi who watched us die decided to fight us during the Jedi Civil War, _we_ fought back. _I_ fought back."

"_You_ fought Jedi?" she said in disbelief, finally facing me.

"I didn't fight Jedi, I killed them. A lot of them." I saw her tense up, "People say killing Jedi is hard. It's not, you just have to be smart about it. No blasters, no getting close to them, no attacking them directly when you can gun down their allies instead. There's ways of gassing them, drugging them making them lose control, torturing them. I was really good at it." I stared straight into her eyes, "What's worse, is that killing them wasn't the best thing. Making them fall... making them see our side of it, _that_ was the best." My voice was cold and vicious as I said that. It was the truth. Seeing those Jedi crumble and succumb to our side.

"How could you have killed Jedi?" she asked, her voice shaking as it tried to keep in control. I know she probably wanted to yell and scream at me right now. I saw her hands trembling slightly, I bet she was just _itching_ to slap me again.

"I taught myself... _techniques_. It's hard for Jedi to sense what you're really thinking if you throw up walls of strong emotions and feelings. Lust, impatience, cowardice... most Jedi awareness doesn't cruise beyond the surface feelings, to see what's deeper. And I was good at that, throwing up walls, and my superiors knew it. Sometimes the Jedi on our side wouldn't even realize I was there." I knew she knew what I was talking about. She probably felt those emotions from me.

"Is that why you act the way you do?" she softly, avoiding my distant gaze.

"Part of it. Maybe it was always me. It had to tell sometimes. I haven't known who I am years." I chuckled lightly. I pitied and hated myself so much, sometimes. I've been lost all these years and I haven't come close to find out who I really am. "I wasn't the only one. I know you left at the Mandalorian Wars, so you don't know about what went on behind the scenes in the Jedi Civil War. But Revan understood one thing- the battle was going to be fought between the Jedi on both sides. That was the only battle that mattered."

"What do you mean?" she asked, slightly curious I guess.

"Whoever had the most, the strongest Jedi were going to win the Civil War. If Revan couldn't convert Jedi, then Reven would kill them. So Revan trained elite Sith Units into assassination squads, whose duty was to go out and capture enemy Jedi." I looked over to her, "I was in one of the special units trained to do this."

Her gaze remained onto the floor, "Capture Jedi? Not kill them?"

"Yeah, Revan had plans for _all_ Jedi. I think it was important that the Jedi see her side of things, the Sith teachings. Revan wanted to break them. And have them join her."

She finally looked up to my face, but I avoided her eyes, "That doesn't sound like something one can just simply walk away from."

"_It isn't_, but one day... I decided not to do it anymore, so I left. Ended up on Nar Shaddaa, became some else." I admitted, finally allowing myself to meet her gaze.

She frowned slightly, "Why are you tell me this? You're telling a Jedi you kill Jedi?"

"Because you killed Jedi, too." she flinched slightly, "Different circumstances, but you have a bigger body count than I ever did. And I've been with you for only a short time, enough to know that as soon as someone signs on with you, they haven't have long to live. You've got history, and anyone who travels with you doesn't. And maybe... I wanted somebody to know who I was in case a story needs to be set straight. Maybe you understand..." Or at least, I hope you did...

There was a long silence between us. The only thing that could be heard was a random beeping from the controls or computers. The silence was driving me mad inside. I wanted her to say something... anything.

"...I," she said in a soft whisper, "... I need some time to think about this..." she said, she made her way over to the cockpit door and unlocked it.

I stared solemnly at her, "... Take your time- I have..."

She gave one last look at me before leaving- her expression haunting me to my very soul. Her expression was a mixture of emotions; confusion, hatred, uncertainty... and one emotion that was the most dominant... sadness.

And knowing_ I_ had caused that pain- that sadness... it made me hate myself even more...

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Author's Note: TEN PAGES THIS TOOK! TEN! And, that's without the Reviewer Responses or Author's Notes... Well, I hoped you all liked it. This is the hardest I have ever worked on a chapter. I made sure I had Atton's dialog just right for his confessions. That means going back to the game and writing his dialog by hand. Did that sound confusing, because that did to me. Ok, let me elaborate. I have a save file from just before Atton's confession in my X Box, so I went back to it played through it again. I took three breaks during the middle of his confession, so I could go to the 'journal' and copy it his dialog into paper. Yup, hand written... anyways... it took about three days to hand write everything, because my brother keeps kicking me off the X Box and I was still writing the beginning of this chapter. Good thing school is finally out. I could have very well searched on the internet for Atton's dialog, but I needed to see the Exile's dialog options during his confession. Which was very important, because I changed some of her dialog to display some strong emotions- anger, hate, etc, etc, you know the deal, so she doesn't sound boring, like, "Oh wow... what happened next?". Like it did in the game. Spiced it up a bit you could say. I'm very proud of this chapter I must say. Though Atton's confession isn't complete just yet, it's going to be in the next chapter. I purposely left out the part where Atton tells the Exile about the Jedi who saved him and saw the error of his ways. It's a very important part in the next chapter. As for the beginning of this chapter. I had fun writing it. Especially about the Rave and Atton&Alanah's first kiss. The rave scene was inspired by a picture from this EXTREMELY talented artist, who draws ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT KOTOR fanart. Her name is Aimo, BTW. Some of you probably heard about her if you visited the Obsidian forums or the Unofficial KOTOR FanMedia forums. And, the kissing scene was totally last minute and thought up from the top of my head. I wasn't planning on having a kissing scene so early for this story, but I thought it fit in quiet nicely. Let's say, it was like getting desert before dinner or a romantic light hearted moment, before the drama and chaos. Also, a little hint of something happening during Alanah's exile. It'll be confronted in a future chapter. And if you didn't notice, I let Alanah slap Atton... TWICE. Don't look at me weirdly, you can't say you didn't feel like bitch slapping him after his most vicious confession. :_pout_: Atton got off lucky, I intended for more Atton slapping, but I'm not _that_ evil. Well, maybe I am, but... oh just leave me alone and leave a review already!

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Reviewer Responses

Melanie K. Schultz- Thank you for reading my story and reviewing. I'm glad you like it!

N. Snicket- Another Asian w/ the wrapped bun and braids avatar user, hazzah! Thanks for the review! And thank you very much for leaving a review for almost all of my chapters so far. You don't know how much I truly appreciate it.

Nini N.Snicket's Sis- Thank you for reviewing, much appreciated! Yes, I don't think Lucas Arts likes us fangirls very much. Seeing as they didn't give us a blank kissing scene with Carth back in KOTOR 1 and gave us a sucky romance plot in KOTOR 2. Seriously, would it kill them to give us fangirls some appreciation. At least the lack of a romance plot in KOTOR 2 gave me inspiration for this fic.

Kuramas Girl Angel- Reading your reviews always gives me motivation to keep writing. Your friggin' full of awesome-ness! Thanks for reviewing. :_huggles_: Loved your story, BTW!

ApatheticSoul- Thank you for reviewing and I'm so happy you liked my story!

lala land- Thanks for the review. The Dark side must be taking over me or something. I feel so evil after the sixth chapter.

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**THANK YOU TO ALL MY WONDERFUL REVIEWERS AND READERS AS WELL! You guys rock!  
**


	7. Pain and Regret

Emotions

Chapter 7: Pain and Regret

Disclaimer: Starwars: KOTOR II: TSL belongs to Lucas Arts, Bio-ware, and Obsidian.

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Atton's POV

"You are a pathetic fool." A cryptic shrill voice insulted.

I looked back and saw Kreia, scowling at me, I growled, "What the hell do _you_ want?"

"Did you think she would _truly_ forgive you? Forgive a murderer like you? Forgive a deserter?" She smirked cruelly, "Did you think you could be forgiven for all the things you've done that easily?"

"I'm not expecting to be forgiven that easily, but-"

"_But what? _You are expecting her to eventually come around and forgive you? To look at you with eyes full of love and compassion as she _once_ did before you confessed to her about your past? _She will not_. When she looks upon you now, it will not be a gaze full of understanding and love... oh no... but she will look upon you like she does every Sith... every murderer... with hate and disgust. To her... you are no longer Atton... you are no longer a trusted companion... you are forever branded by her... a Sith... a Jedi assassin... a murderer..." She smirked and leaned her head back as she laughed cruelly.

I glared hatefully at her. She was laughing at my pain... that laugh... that shrill evil pompous laugh... "SHUT UP!" I screamed, balling my hands into tight fists. She only continued to laugh, louder this time. Anger. That's what I felt at the moment. 'How dare she laugh at me... laugh at the expense of my pain and suffering...' I gritted my teeth and my breathing became heavier. I grabbed my two blasters in each hand and pointed it at her and screamed, "_SHUT UP!_"

I couldn't control myself... I couldn't stop myself...

I stood over Kreia's body in a puddle of her own blood. 'I did not I just... no...' I kneeled next to her body and turned it over so it was facing up. When I did, I gasped. It was not Kreia... instead... it was another.

I stared at the face of the Jedi that saved me long ago. Her face pale with death, dirty blond hair in disarray, a trail of blood in the corner of her mouth, and blood covered her tattered Jedi ropes. I lost my balance and landed on my back. I pulled myself up and stared in horror at the body in front of me.

"Atton..."

I jumped slightly and turned around, "Alanah?"

She stood in front of me, staring at me emotionlessly, "I can't..." she said softly, igniting her silver light saber, "I can't forgive you..."

"_Alanah?_" was the only thing I said as I felt the hot blade of her light saber pierce through my chest. I stared straight into her eyes, Kreia was right... all I saw was hate and disgust...

Then, I heard that laugh again... that shrill, evil, pompous laugh. I looked past Alanah and saw her... I saw Kreia.

And finally... everything turned black...

* * *

I jolted up from the pilots seat of the Ebon Hawk and looked frantically around. I breathed heavily and wiped the sweat off my forehead with my right hand. 'It was _just_ a dream... just a dream...' I said mentally to myself. I sighed heavily and sunk into my seat, greatly relieved. 

It had been about three standard days since I confessed about my past to Alanah. Since then, she hasn't talked or even given me a glance since then. All I've witnessed her doing, was either training or meditating with her padawans- Bao-Dur, Mical, and Mira, meditating or talking with Visas or Kreia, talking to GO-TO or HK, talking to or repairing T3-M4, and meditating by herself in the cargo hold. These three days felt like hell for me. I wanted so much to talk to her. To joke around, flirt, and play a round of pazaak like we used to, before I told her my dark past.

I sighed. I felt like I completely lost her. And I would do _anything_ to reestablish our connection again. I growled irritably.

"Atton?" I looked back and saw Mical. 'Oh for the love of... Seriously, what the hell is with my luck?'

"What do _you _want?" I snapped. Couldn't this kid take the hint that I couldn't stand the mere presence of him.

He flinched slightly, "Alanah wanted to know how long it was until we arrived at Onderon?"

I scoffed, 'Great now she's sending her_ pet_ to relay messages to me,' I rolled my eyes, "Why doesn't she just ask me this herself, instead of sending _you_ to?"

"She..." he paused, "she is busy at the moment, reviewing some recent datapads we've gathered from Nar Shaddaa." Mical was a pathetic liar.

I rolled my eyes, "We arrive in Onderon in 48 standard hours."

"Thank you, I'll tell her that." he thanked and turned to leave.

"Whatever." I replied sourly.

Hours later...

Alanah's POV

I sat the middle of the cargo hold, meditating. I suspected that the everyone was in the dormitories sleeping by now. I spent today giving extra training to my padawans. I was really proud of them. They were all progressing quickly with no real problems. Bao-Dur was excelling with his light sabers, Mical was excellent when it came to his force powers and mediation, and Mira was doing great with her light saber skills and force powers. They were going to become great Jedi one day. I could feel it. I used the extra spare time to talk to Visas, finding out more of her past and she even taught me a new force power- force sight. Then I talked to Kreia and found out she used to be Revan's former master.

She told me something else that was unsettling to me.

"_When I look at you- I see the death of the Force..."_

I sighed. Was I truly the death of the Force? I brushed the thought away. I had more important things to think about. We were to arrive at Onderon soon and I would face Master Kavar. There were some fond memories with him. I remember back on the Dantooine Enclave, he would stop by and visit. I remembering him giving me extra lessons and telling me I would become a great Jedi Knight one day. Master Kavar one of the kindest Jedi Master out of all of them from the Council. His voice never carried arrogance like Master Vrook or Atris. He was almost fatherly like, if I remember correctly.

Pushing those thoughts to the back of my subconscious, I stood and walked out the cargo hold and walked down the hall to the lounge bay for drink. It was empty, as expected, when I arrived. I walked over to the beverage dispenser and ordered a Chandrilan Herb Tea. I grabbed the steaming cup of tea, took a quick sip, and walked over to a booth to sit.

I sighed heavily as memories from three days ago some how crawled into my head. The way Atton said how the Jedi deserved what happened at Malachor... _so full of hatred_. How he confessed of being an ex- Sith, how he killed countless of Jedi... I had thought about everything he said and it sent shivers to my spine.

I was brought out of my thoughts when I heard someone walk into the room. I looked up and held my breath, "Atton!"

His eyes met mine and an awkward silence filled the air. He cleared his throat, "I was just going to get a drink." he walked over to the beverage dispenser and got his drink. Silence and tension filled the room, it felt like it was driving me mad.

He was about to exit the room, a cup of caffa in hand, but I stopped him, "Atton, wait!" He stopped immediately and glanced back at me, "We... we need to talk... about-"

"I know... we didn't really finish our discussion from three days ago..." he said uncomfortably. I watched him walk over to where I sat and he took a seat from the opposite of me.

There was a short silence until I finally gained enough courage to ask, "So... what made you leave the Sith?"

He sighed heavily and scratched the back of his neck, "Well, there was this woman, a Jedi." he glanced over at me, "She... she gave her life for mine."

I took another sip of my tea and looked over at him, "Was this... was this a mission?"

He shook his head, "It wasn't a mission. _She_ sought me out. She said... she had come to save me. She was lying of course- or I think she was. It doesn't matter- she told enough truth to get my attention."

I looked sympathetically at him, "Are you sure she was lying? Maybe she truly wanted to save you?" I asked.

"_Maybe_. It doesn't matter. She knew the right things to say." He paused and avoided my gaze, "She said that Revan was doing something terrible to Jedi within the Unknown Regions That when we captured Jedi, they were sent to a place designed to... break them. And that anyone in her service who showed any ability with the Force was sent there, too, to _turn_ them, to _break_ them into Dark Jedi... or assassins trained to kill Jedi." I was shocked, I had no idea Revan did this. "She said that's what would happen to me- that I had the Force inside me, that's why I was so good at killing Jedi. And that when the Sith learned of it, there would be no escape, no turning back I would become an instrument of the darkside,_ forever_. I had heard talk in the ranks, troops vanishing. I knew what she meant, but I didn't believe her."

"Did... did you kill her?" I think I already knew the answer.

"I did what I did to all Jedi. I hurt her." he hung his head in shame, "_I hurt her a lot_. And the, right when I thought she couldn't take anymore- she showed me the Force. In my head." he lifted his head and stared into my eyes. I gasped when I saw tears forming in his eyes, "And I felt _everything_ she felt, and I heard just an echo of what the Force was. And how what I was doing..." he looked away from me, "I think I loved her, but it _wasn't that_ kind of love. It was the kind of love where you're willing to give up everything for someone you don't even know."

I felt pain and regret from him, it was almost overwhelming. I got up from my seat and walked over to him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, "Perhaps she felt the greater good would be served with your salvation."

"Maybe. It doesn't matter... I killed her for crawling in my head, for showing me that. But before she opened her mind to mine, my only thought was that I would love to kill her. And in the end... I killed her _because_ I loved her..."

I stared sympathetically down at him, "That's a lot to bear, Atton..." I could almost feel the pain and regret from inside him. I wished I could of eased it a little, but what could I do?

"In the end, she sacrificed herself to keep my secret, to prevent the Sith from knowing about that touch of the Force inside me. She wasted her life to save me. _Me_." he sighed, "And I felt her die, when she opened her mind. I've killed Jedi like I said, but I was never there to feel it, to be on the receiving end. And after that, I couldn't stop feeling things- before, _guilt, lust, impatience_, it had been orchestrated to get close,- now, it all just kept tumbling out- and I couldn't keep doing what I was doing. So I left. I fled with the displaced war veterans to Nar Shaddaa and I lost myself there, until the war came to an end. I wanted _no more _of Jedi, or Dark Jedi, or the Force. I _just_ wanted to be left alone." he looked up at me, "And then... I met you on Peragus."

"_Atton_-" he interrupted me.

"And I thought, maybe, maybe she had saved me so that I could help you. And if I can't, then I _have_ to try..." I was speechless, "I didn't want to tell you this. But... I had to. Because, if something happens, I can't let you think I was doing it for something other than the past."

I smiled softly at him and brushed away the tears that still lingered in his eyes, "Then... I welcome your help- _and your honesty_."

I'm glad we had this confrontation, it was better for me to have known about this now. I still need some time to fully register everything, but I will. I think this was some kind of test- for both of us... to see if we could handle confronting our past, learn to forgive, and move on past this. This will strengthen us for the future ahead. I know he regrets everything he did in the past, I can feel it and see it in his eyes. It brings him so much pain, and hopefully... I can help ease that pain. There is no doubt in my mind... _I love him_... I truly do... _despite_ his past. Right now isn't the best time to discuss our feelings... maybe after all this... after I fully confront my past and stop the Sith threat... we'll have that time.

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Author's Notes: And that's chapter 7! Did I fool anyone with the dream sequence? I hope it wasn't too dark. Heh. Atton and Alanah have that issue resolved and things are going to get better between them. Yes, I know... I left out the part where Alanah turns Atton into a Jedi... that will be for the next chapter. And just because the 'Atton's Dark Past' issue is gone, doesn't mean I haven't got anymore drama for them. Oh no... more drama will test their relationship... even though they don't really have a romantic relationship at this time. Review now! Oh, and sorry for all the little mistakes I might have missed while proof reading...

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Reviewer Responses

Kuramas Girl Angel- Yeah, I remember that, I hated Kreia even more for that. Does he love me or not! It's a simple yes or no question! Don't give me all that cryptic mumbo jumbo. Thanks for the review!

Kitome-chan- Aimo is simply amazing! Just looking at some of her art inspires me to write a story behind it. :_blush_: Yes, I realized a had quiet a few errors. Sorry about that. I must have missed those when I read it over before submitting it. Thanks for reviewing!

Melanie K. Schultz- :_grins_: That has to be one of my favorite parts; Atton getting slapped... twice I might add. Thank you for reviewing!

nath- Thanks for reviewing! The rave was a challenge to write, but I love challenges. I didn't know how to really approach it in a way that didn't sound too stupid or too cheesy. I really wanted this story to focus on the exile's and Atton's emotions. How they feel for each other and what not. I really want to emphasize the Exile's emotions during Atton's confession. I hope I did it nicely. I also added a lot of emotion on Atton's part. In the game you don't really get the feeling he regrets what he did. I wanted to change that. Did I pull it off?

Obsidian Thirteen- Thanks for reviewing! Is it perfect now? Wait... it won't reach the height of perfection until it's fully finished. Ah:_runs off to write the next chapter_:

N. Snicket- Thanks for reviewing! Did I watch Futurama? Which episode? Why, did this chapter remind of a particular episode?

FlyHigh4Life- Thanks for reviewing! Yay! Thank you for putting me in your favs :_huggles_:

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**THANK YOU TO ALL MY WONDERFUL REVIEWERS AND READERS AS WELL!**


	8. Meditation Envy and the Force

Emotions

Chapter 8: Meditation Envy and the Force

Disclaimer: Starwars: KOTOR II: TSL belongs to Lucas Arts, Bio-ware, and Obsidian.

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Alanah's POV

'_I hate the rain..._' I said mentally in my head, bitter about my current situation.

We arrived near Onderon, only to be shot down by a large fleet of ships. Then, with Atton's _oh so _impressive piloting skills, we crashed on Dxun, a place I certainly did not want to revisit. Not to my surprise, the Ebon Hawk was badly damaged and definitely in no condition to fly. So, while Atton, Bao-Dur, Mira, HK-47, GO-TO, and T3-M4 stayed behind to try to repair the ship, Visas, Kreia, Mical, and I went to explore our surroundings. After dealing with Duro bounty hunters and many beasts, we came across a small group of Mandalorians. They took us to their base camp and we met with their leader, Mandalore. He eventually was kind enough to take Kreia and I to Iziz, a city on Onderon. There, I eventually met with Master Kavar, but our meeting was brief and interrupted by Colonel Tobin and his men. We escaped back to Dxun unscathed, but we wouldn't be able to return to Iziz for some time. Which meant another meeting with Maser Kavar would be postponed til then, much to my inconvenience. Mandalore, Kreia, Visas, Mical, and I soon returned to the Ebon Hawk, which fortunately was repaired enough to fly.

"Hey, welcome back, I take from the not so pleased look on your pretty face that everything didn't go as plan." Atton remarked as he appeared from the cockpit, smirking. We entered the main hold of the Ebon Hawk, dripping wet from the jungle rain.

I frowned at him, "Nothing ever goes as plan for us." He chuckled in response.

After introducing our new crew member, Mandalore, and filling in Atton, Mira, Bao-Dur, T3, HK, and GO-TO news about what happened on Iziz, I went straight to the cockpit with Atton following me. I ignored the fact I was _still_ dripping wet from the rain.

"So, since Onderon is a bust, where are we going now?" Atton asked as he threw a dry towel at me.

I caught with ease and peered at the galaxy map while wrapping the towel around my wet hair. I froze when I found out what planet was next. '_Korriban..._'

"You ok?" I heard Atton ask as he walked over and peered over my shoulder. "Oh..."

I have been dreading going to Korriban since I learned that Master Vash was there. It meant I would soon have to go there myself and face all that dark energy Korriban was haunted with. 'Why the Force would Master Vash go there? Of all planets- she choose Korriban?' I looked over at Atton, behind me, "Set course for Korriban." I ordered, leaving him in the cockpit while I headed for the port dormitory.

I entered the dormitory and noticed Kreia meditating. I paid no mind and walked over to my bunk, kneeled down, opened the drawer, and started looking for something other than Jedi robes to wear.

"Exile."

I stopped shuffling through my things and looked behind me, at Kreia, "Yes Kreia? Do you need something?"

She kept her form in the meditating position, "I wish to discuss something of importance with you."

I glanced back at my things, stood up, walked over, and kneeled down in front of her, "What would you like to discuss, Kreia."

"We are heading for Korriban next, are we not?" she asked.

"Yes, I already informed Atton to set course for Korriban. We should we arriving there in at least one standard week."

I noticed her demeanor grow serious, "It would be wise of you to use this time to meditate- you and the party members you plan to take with you."

I raised an eyebrow, "You will not be accompany me on Korriban?"

"I will not set foot on a planet so... so _teeming_ with dark energy, but I will keep contact with you telepathically." she informed me.

I nodded understandingly, "I understand, Kreia. Visas and someone else shall disembark on Korriban with me."

"Will you have one of your padawans accompany you and the blind one?" I shook my head, "_Oh_? And why not?"

"I feel they are not ready to encounter such a powerful dark energy Korriban emits. They are inexperienced when it comes to dealing with the darkside. I fear... I fear they may not have the will power to ignore such a temptation." I replied honestly. "Mira, Mical, and Bao-Dur are talented with the Force, that may be true, but they have never experienced such energy. They have never walked in the dark places as Visas and I have. It would be _foolish_ of me as their Master to allow them to be scarred in such a way."

"That... that is a very wise decision." Kreia commented, a little amazed.

"Thank you, now if you will excuse me." I got up, walked over to my drawer, quickly found some clothing, closed the drawer, and walked out of the room to the refresher.

Atton's POV

Few Hours Later...

I walked around the Ebon Hawk until I came to the lounge. I peaked inside and frowned when I saw only Mira there, sitting in a booth, lazily reading a magazine. I was about to walk away when, I guess, she noticed me, "If you're looking for Alanah, _lover boy_, she's in cargo hold."

"What?"

She rolled her eyes, "_Men are so easy to read_." she said sarcastically under her breath, "It's obvious you're looking for Alanah. She's in the cargo hold like she always is."

"She isn't meditating, is she?" I asked curiously, ignoring her earlier comment about men.

"Maybe, the last time I saw her, she was meditating with Mical." she shrugged as she flipped a page.

I frown, 'What the hell is she doing with _him_?' I honestly didn't like the kid. _Mr. Know-It-All-Hero-Prince-Charming-Wannabe_. It was obvious he adored Alanah; the way he did whatever she said without question and of course how he would gaze at her when she wasn't looking. I growled.

"Meditation envy?" I looked over at Mira and saw her smirk.

I glared at her, "Why don't you go sit on a rocket?"

"_Calm down_- what's your problem with Mical anyways."

I frowned, "My problem? What's your's? I don't know you or anybody can trust _him_."

Mira raised an eyebrow, "He's ok, once you get to know him a little better."

I scoffed, "_Yeah, right_... are you falling in love with him too?"

Mira laughed, "_Oh I see now_! So I was right- you're _so_ jealous of Mical and his relationship with Alanah!"

"_Me_? Jealous of _him_? Yeah right, Red." I crossed my arms, "And like Alanah would go for a guy like that."

"He is ok... he's like a person who watched too many holovids..." she shrugged, "or teaches them... But he'd get beaten to death on Nar Shaddaa almost as soon as he landed, though."

"You're right about that- he is boring." I leaned on the door frame.

"_Still..._" she flipped another page from the magazine, "That puts him a few ranks up the ladder from you."

"And what's that suppose to mean, Red? I am in no way as boring as he is."

She looked up from her magazine, "No, you're more like a shifty, lying idiot with a tendency to complain about every little thing and offer only small bits of helpful advice if pressured."

I felt my right eye twitch, "I don't like you- you know that, right?"

"Hey, don't take it so personally! I mean... you are better than most of the people I know or met from Nar Shaddaa."

"_Thanks_." I mumbled sarcastically, walking off.

As I walked down the hallway I heard Mira yell, "And stop watching her. She's got enough problems."

'Damn that woman was annoying! She almost made me forget what I wanted to talk to Alanah about.' Why is it that this ship is half filled with women and they are either manipulating witches, crazy redheads, or creepy blinded Jedi. Then there was Alanah, but she was the only less annoying woman here.' I walked pass the medbay and noticed Mical inside, meditating. 'Does he always meditate? _Sheesh_... at least he isn't meditating alone with Alanah.' I walked over to the entrance of the cargo hold and looked inside.

There was Alanah in the far end of the room, standing in front of some empty metal crates with some old blasters or vibro blades laying around. I noticed that she let her hair out, instead of putting it in her regular hairstyle. I knocked on the metal frame of the cargo hold entrance to get her attention, "Hey."

She turned her head and looked back at me, "Oh, hey Atton." she placed a blaster inside the crate walked over to me.

I blinked at her outfit. I was expecting her to be wearing one of her Jedi robes, but instead she wore something _very _different, "Nice outfit, tired of Jedi robes?" I asked, smirking. She was wearing a short black sleeveless turtle neck, which gave a perfect view if her perfectly flat stomach, the top part of her gray tunic hung around her slim waste while the sleeves were in a loosely tied knot in front, black pants, and black boots.

"Eyes up here, Pazaak head." She ordered, pointing to her face. I grinned sheepishly, "So what are you doing here? You usually stay in the cockpit unless you need the refresher, or if you're hungry, or thirsty, or if you need to tell me something." she raised an eyebrow, "And who is piloting if you're here?"

"The ships on auto-pilot and T3 is watching over it, so don't worry." I answered, "But, there is something I do want to talk to you about."

She tilted her head, "Sounds serious... very well, what would you like to talk about?" As I walked in, she waved her hand towards the entrance and the hatch closed immediately and the lock clicked.

"Neat trick." I complemented.

"Thanks," she crossed her arms and looked at me, "So... what did you want to discuss?"

I looked seriously at her, "I wanted to thank you... for still accepting me and... and not hating me after I told you of my past."

Her eyes softened, "We all did things in the past that we regret, but that doesn't mean we should be judged by past mistakes. Especially, if we showed remorse over it and that we are different from the past. Standing in front of me is _Atton Rand_, the smart ass, pazaak-playing pilot. Not..." she paused for a minute, looking perplexed, "Not whatever your real name is, the Jedi assassin. That isn't who you are anymore and I know that."

"My real name is Jaq..." I answered solemnly.

"Right... the point is... I could never hate you... you..." she looked straight into my eyes, "... you are _too_ important to me..."

I stepped forward and, maybe caught up in the moment, I held her gently in my arms. I felt her tense up slightly, but soften as she returned my embrace. At that moment, I wanted to tell her _everything_ I felt for her. To tell her how important she was to me... how I would do anything to protect her... I-I desperately wanted to tell her... _how much I loved her_... but... I couldn't... I couldn't gain the courage to... not at this moment anyways.

"Once, a Jedi showed me the force... I heard it, I felt it. But, at that time, there was too much pain to confront it- because if I did, it meant I would be changed into _something else_." I looked down at her and she looked up at me with a confused expression, "Now, I'm not afraid of it anymore."

"Atton... are you sure you want learn how to use the Force? It is not as easy it looks." she asked.

I nodded, "I think that by learning how to use it- I can help protect you. Or a least buy you some time when disaster comes screaming in." I winked down at her.

"You don't have to protect me, Atton. I don't want you getting hurt because of me."

"I'll get hurt either way," I joked, "But still, I want to learn how to use the Force. I want to learn how to use the Force to help you."

She broke our embrace and smiled up at me, "Then, I'll train you, Atton."

"What must I do? Is there some... some kind of ritual, or...?"

Alanah shook her head and giggled slightly. She then took my hand and lead me to the center of the room, "Sit." she instructed, doing so herself. "Just close your eyes, open your mind, and focus on only my voice." I did as she told me to do and waited for further instructions, "You must learn to feel it around you, feel its currents, its eddies..." I focused on her voice and tried to feel the Force. I felt an echo of it, just like I did before when that Jedi showed me the Force long ago. Only this time, the echo was getting stronger. "Listen to the echo of your thoughts, your heart- separated from war, separated from hate." I listened to my thoughts, pushing away the hate and anguish caused by the war, "Think of what you felt when you felt the need to help me, to protect me." The Force grew stronger around me, it was not an echo anymore...

"And at last, Atton... _awaken_..."

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Author's Notes: And finally, Atton is Jedi-fied. I had such a frustrating time with this chapter. I actually wrote the first chapter eight a few days ago, but it _sucked_. So I rewrote it, and this is the rewrite that I am more pleased of. I have no idea of what to write for the next chapter. I may just write about Atton's Jedi training, but I don't know... I'll spend a day or two brainstorming... Anyways, I hoped you like this chapter. If you didn't notice, I revised the 'Meditation Envy' scene between Atton and Mira. I used the lines from the cut content of the game, since it's more amusing, and I added some things of my own in that scene. It sucked that Obsidian cut so much great material from the game. They cut some very good Atton moments that would've made you look at Atton in a different light. _Damn you, Obsidian_! Bio-ware better be the one making KOTOR 3!

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Reviewer Responses:

Kuramas Girl Angel- Heh, I couldn't remember Atton's lines either, but I just went back to the game and got them. :_shrugs_: Sorry this chapter took so long, I was so frustrated with this cause I wanted to have the Exile turn Atton to a Jedi, but I had no idea how to put it in this chapter. Thanks for reviewing!

nath- :_blush_: Yeah, I noticed all the misspellings after I submitted it. But, thanks for pointing them out. I seem to always over look them some how... I'm glad I pulled of chapter 6 and 7 so well. Capturing both Atton's and the Exile's emotions during those scenes were really important to me. Thanks for reviewing!

N. Snicket- Yeah, I remember that episode! I can see how my rave scene reminded you of that scene from Futurama. Thanks for reviewing!

Nini N.Snicket's Sis- Without a computer for three days! I can barely stand not going on the computer for two days. I go insane without it. :_lol_: Hopefully, Bio-ware will do KOTOR 3. They would do so much better with the romance plot. Have you played Jade Empire? The romance plot there was absolutely beautiful. It even had a full kissing scene between your character and their love interest. Imagine a full kissing scene with Carth&(Fem)Revan or Atton&(Fem)Exile. :_swoon_: Kreia always frustrated me... she was a good character with a lot of depth though, but it was so easy to lose influence with her. Especially if you're a lightsider. I hated her in the end, how she betrays you and how she has been manipulating your character from the beginning. Thanks for reviewing!


	9. Jedi Training

Emotions

Chapter 9: Jedi Training

Disclaimer: Starwars: KOTOR II: TSL belongs to Lucas Arts, Bio-ware, and Obsidian.

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JEDI TRAINING- DAY 1

Atton's POV

"Argh!" I was knocked flat on my back with a silver light saber pointed at my throat. 'Well, this looks familiar.'

Alanah stood over me, frowning, "Your form is sloppy and you're still holding your light saber incorrectly." She switched off her light saber and rubbed her temples frustratingly with her free hand.

I sat up, rubbing the back of my head, "Hey, I'm trying my best, '_Master_'." I said defensively, scoffing at the word _Master_. After I was 'awakened' to the Force, Alanah immediately wanted to train me. She gave me my own Jedi robes and a yellow double bladed light saber. We spent three hours working on my force powers, took a short break, meditated for two hours, and now we have been working on my light saber combat skills for the past about two hours now. She told me as a Jedi Sentinel, I would have to work on both of my light saber skills and my Force powers.

"I told you this was going to be hard. Now, get up." She ordered.

"Can't we take a break?" I whined. I was extremely exhausted.

"A break? Atton, we've only been sparring for two hours?" She scowled down at me, crossing her arms. She didn't look the least bit tired.

"Exactly, TWO hours. You're tiring me out, Babe..."

"Atton, when I was _just_ an apprentice back at the Jedi Enclave, I used to train_ ten _hours a day with only one break. You think I'm tiring you out? Compared to the Masters, I'm going very _easy_ on you." She chided, "Now, get up."

I stumbling up and took a defensive form. I heard her sigh irritably again, "What!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up in the air.

She shook her head; "You were holding your light saber too tightly." I loosened my grip, "Now you're holding it too loosely... and you're too tense! Relax your shoulders." She nagged.

'I feel ridiculous.' I said mentally to myself as I tried adjusting how I held my light saber and loosening up.

"You're holding you're light saber wrong again and you messed up your stance." She sighed, "Here let me help." She walked over to me and moved my hands to the appropriate places on the light saber. She then used her feet to shift my feet to the right positions and moved my arms a little. "Relax your shoulders," she instructed as she walked behind me and placed her hands on my shoulders. I tensed up from her touch. "I said relax! Stop getting so tense, Atton."

"You're not exactly helping much, Babe." I heard her scoff and she removed her hands.

She walked in front of my, observing me for a few seconds, "Perfect." I grinned victoriously, but my grin quickly faded as Alanah ignited her light saber, "Now you need to learn how to keep your form perfect while in the heat of battle." She said, positioning herself in an offensive stance.

'... _Frack_...' I cussed mentally.

Alanah's POV

Hours later...

I entered the lounge and walked straight to beverage dispenser, ordering two cups of water for Atton, who was in the cargo hold, and I. I heard somebody enter the room behind me, I glanced back and saw it was only Mira.

"Hey, wow, you look tired." She greeted, walking over beside me and stopping in front of the food dispenser.

I sighed tiredly, "I am... I just spent couple hours training Atton." I took a sip from my cup and leaned against the counter top behind me as I waited for the dispenser to fill up the second cup of water for Atton.

She raised an eyebrow, "_Oh_..."

"Oh- what?" I looked up from my drink.

"Oh nothing..." she said innocently. She turned her attention back to the food dispenser, looking for something appetizing. "You know... you have this glow around you. I noticed it when I first met you, but I thought you were just hyped up on spice."

"Mira, Jedi do not use spice... or any type of drugs for that matter." I corrected.

She shrugged, "Well, anyways, I just noticed that your glow... it seems to be getting stronger."

"Stronger? I guess I'm just more in tune with the Force."

"Is that so? Oh... I thought for a minute there... well- never mind." She coughed.

I raised an eyebrow curiously, "You thought what?"

She looked over a me, "Well... I thought you and Atton... you know..."

"Atton and I- what?" What was she getting at?

"You know... '_hooked up a power coupling_'?" she grinned teasingly.

I stared blankly at her, "Hooked up a power coupling? I don't understand." I took another sip from my drink.

"You don't go out much do you- I mean you and Atton... together. _Physically_." She smirked slyly at me.

I choked on my water and coughed. Once I regained myself, I placed my cup on the counter top behind me. "NO! How could you think- me and Atton? NO!" I stammered, blushing heavily.

"It was just a thought- I mean, it's not like you have any feelings for him." She bent down to retrieve whatever she ordered from the dispenser. She glanced up at me, "You don't, do you?"

I sighed, crossed my arms, and stared at the other side of the room, "... I-it's complicated, Mira."

She stood up and took a bite from her snack, "Complicated? How?"

I stared at the ground, "I do care for him... it's just..." I shook my head, "Never mind, I don't think you would understand." I grabbed the two drinks and headed out the room.

"Hey! What do you mean I wouldn't understand!" She asked defensively, her voice muffled from the food still in her mouth.

I stopped and looked back at her, "I didn't mean you were slow, Mira. I just meant- how could I expect you to understand; when I don't even understand it myself." I looked down for a second and left the room, leaving Mira confused.

Atton's POV

I slumped to the floor and leaned back against a wall, exhausted like hell. '_Jeeze_, this is what Bao-Dur, Mira, and Mical had to endure? I never felt so exhausted in my whole life!' My muscles ache so badly; I don't even have the strength to stand up. I rested my head against the wall and closed my eyes.

"I'm back." I heard Alanah announce from the entrance.

I opened my eyes halfway and looked tiredly over to her. I watched her as she walked over to me and offered me a drink. She smiled softly down at me, "Thirsty?"

"Very- thanks." I graciously accepted. I gulped down the water in one setting and let out a sigh of relief. I turned my attention over to Alanah, who was now sitting down beside me drinking her water in silence, "So, how is my progress, _Master Alanah_?"

She looked up from her now empty cup and set it down beside her, "You don't have to call me Master Alanah or Master, you know?"

"I know- I just felt like teasing you." I grinned playfully.

She rolled her eyes, "To answer your question, your doing quite well considering you haven't had any previous training with the Force."

"Is that so?" I smiled to myself. 'Heh, I'm impressing her!'

She nodded, "Your light saber combat skills are vastly improving very step of the way and your adaption to using the Force is remarkable. I'm very impressed that you learned so much in one day's worth of training."

I grinned down at her, "Well, I have a great master."

She blushed slightly, "You flatter me."

"It's not flattery, it's the honest truth."

She smiled softly, "Thanks, Atton. To be very honest, I quite jealous of you."

I raised an eyebrow, "You jealous of me?"

"Well, yes. You learned everything so quickly. It's not only you, but it's Mical, Mira, and Bao-Dur. You all learned everything in such a short amount of time with little or no previous training. I had to train all my life to excel in areas you all are advancing so quickly in. If you all have been taken in for training like I had to earlier, you all would've been very renowned and skillful Jedi by now." she said, amazement in her voice.

I thought for a minute, "Well, we all have one thing in common." I looked down at her, "We all have you as a Master. We wouldn't have learned so much if we did have you training us."

She smiled, "I appreciate that." She stood up and looked down at me, "I think you've had enough training for today. We'll continue tomorrow."

I staggered up to my feet, but groaned painfully and slumped down. I heard Alanah gasp and I tried supporting myself on one knee and hand as I looked up sheepishly at her, "I guess I'm more exhausted than I thought."

She kneeled down to my side and slung my free arm around her shoulder, "Let me help." she offered. With her support, I successfully got onto my feet and we staggered out the cargo hold and we were on our way to the starboard dormitory. It felt odd having Alanah try to support me as we walked- her being so short and me being so tall. It earned us a couple of looks from Mira and Bao-Dur as we passed them.

"Damn you're so short." I joked, making light out of our situation.

"And you're so damn tall and heavy." she grunted. I laughed in response.

We finally reached the star board dormitory, finding it empty, much to our surprise. Usually Visas was here meditating, but I guess she retired to the port dormitory for some rest. I didn't even know she slept at all. As we reached my bed, Alanah gently set me down and I removed my arm from her shoulder.

"Thanks." I said as I carefully removing my outer Jedi robe and setting it aside.

"No problem." she turned her back to leave, but paused and looked back at me, "Get a good night's rest, you'll need it for tomorrow." she said and finally left.

'Great.' I sighed. I laid down on the bed, finding comfort from the soft mattress for my aching muscles. 'I'm going to be sore in the morning...' I thought to myself as felt unconsciousness engulf me.

JEDI TRAINING- DAY 2

Alanah's POV

I slowly tiptoed into the star board dormitory, otherwise known as the males' dormitory. The room was dim and filled with the sounds of loud snoring. I looked around and spotted Atton in his bunk, sleeping like a bantha... snoring like one too. I wanted to laugh at the sight him, spread out all over the bed, limbs hanging all over the place, tangled in the bed sheet, mouth wide open, and a trail of drool in the corner of his mouth.

I silently tiptoed to his bunk; making sure not to wake up Mandalore, Bao-Dur, or Mical from their slumber. Though, it did occur strange to me how Bao-Dur and Mical were able to sleep with Mandalore and Atton's loud snoring. 'He didn't even change out of his robes. Oh well, I can't blame him.' I bent down and started poking him on his forehead. I frowned when he didn't even stir from his sleep, so I started poking him harder. "Wake up, sleepy-head." I whispered playfully.

He still didn't stir and continued to snore even louder, 'He sleeps like a hung over bantha. How am I going to get his lazy ass up without waking up the others?' I thought to myself, glancing at the other sleeping occupants in the room. I decided it was best to try and shake him awake. I shook his shoulders and he stirred slightly, but fell back to sleep. I gave out an irritated grunt. I sat beside his sleeping figure on the edge of his bed, observing him, 'For hung over bantha; he does look kinda cute when he sleeps.' I giggled slightly, as I moved a lone strand of hair from his face. I was caught completely off guard when his right hand grasped my wrist. I looked at his hand and then to his face when I discover his eyes were half open and looking straight at me, lazily.

"Alanah-" I interrupted him by placing a finger on his lips with my free hand.

"Shhh… you'll wake the others." I whispered, removing my finger as he let go of my wrist.

"What are you doing here anyways?" he whispered groggily, rubbing his tired eyes.

"I came to wake you up for Jedi training." I whispered, smiling cheerfully.

"Are you kidding me?" he asked in disbelief. He tried to sit up but groaned in pain and laid straight back down on the bed.

I looked worriedly at him, "Are you ok?"

He grinned sheepishly, "Still kinda sore from Yesterday."

I smiled sympathetically at him, "Let me help." I closed my eyes and concentrated on the Force to use Force heal on Atton. I opened my eyes and looked at him, "Feel better?"

He sat up without groaning in pain, "A bit, I still feel kinda sore."

"You know what relieves aching muscles?" I smiled mischievously at him.

He blinked, but caught the mischievous glint in my eye. He grinned, "And what is that?"

I leaned forward to his ear and whispered, "A nice… hot…" I felt him grow tense with anticipation, I giggled mentally, "… shower…" I finished. I leaned back and changed my expression from mischievous to serious. I stood up and looked down at him, "Seriously, you stink with manly odor. Take a shower and then meet me in the cargo hold." I instructed while silently walking out of the room, leaving a dumb struck Atton to ponder on what just happened.

Minutes later...

I paced around the cargo hold impatiently, 'He better not have fallen back asleep after I left the room.' I plopped myself on one of the metal crates and started to fiddle with one of my braids.

"_Will you stop fiddling with your hair! It's fine, now hurry up or Master Vrook will punish us for being late again!"_

I smiled at the memory.

Flashback...

_I looked over at my friend through the reflection of the mirror as I quickly put in the finishing touches to my latest new, and unique, hair style, "Since when did you care about getting on time to one of Master Vrook's lectures?"_

_She placed her hands on her hips defiantly, "Do you want to scrub the halls again?"_

_I smiled back cheesily at her, "Fine- fine. I'm done, you happy now?" _

"_Finally!" she grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the girls' bathroom._

_We hurried down the hall and into the opening where another friend of ours was waiting for us, patiently. "Finally, what took you two so long?" he asked._

"_Miss Vanity here took forever with her hair." She rolled her dark brown eyes._

_Our friend turned his attention to me and grinned, "Another new hairstyle, Alanah?" _

_I laughed and flipped my hair, "You like?"_

_He smiled, "It's unique like always."_

"_Enough- can we please go now?" She huffed impatiently, tapping her right foot against the stone flooring._

_I smiled cheerfully at her, "Yes- yes... we wouldn't want to be late for Master Vrooks lecture, do we now?" I said sarcastically, earning a hard look from my female friend and a snicker from my male friend._

_We hurried down another hallway until we reached an entrance our destination. Upon reaching it, we were greeted with the frown of Master Vrook, "Well, if it isn't Alanah, Revan, and Malak? Actually early for a class, I see."_

_The three of us bowed slightly, greeting our instructor, "Good morning, Master Vrook." we greeted in unison._

_Master Vrook stepped aside, allowing us to pass. We hurried in and took our usual seats in the third row._

End Flash back...

I smiled sadly and stopped toying with my braid. 'To think, that was us when we were younger. Three of the closest friends you could ever imagine.' I sighed and started playing with one of my braids again, 'We were so close- Revan, Malak, and I. We grew up together so it almost felt like we were family. Then, the Mandlorian Wars happened and look at us now... one former Sith Lord, a dead Sith Lord, and an Exile.' I glanced over at the entrance of the cargo hold and noticed Atton there, leaning against the entrance frame with his arms crossed, staring at me. I stood up and walked over to him, "Finally, what took you so long?" I asked.

"Hey, I was getting rid of the 'manly odor' you despise so much." He replied.

I rolled my eyes, "Just let me get HK and we'll start." I said, heading out the room to find the assassin droid.

"WHAT!" he exclaimed, blocking my way, "Hold on there, sister. Why do we need the homicidal droid?"

I frowned up at him, "We need HK for your training. Today, you will be learning how to deflect blaster shots with your light saber."

"Are you crazy-"

"Query: Are you of need of my assistance, Master?" Hk interjected as he appeared suddenly from the main hold, causing Atton to jump in surprise.

I pushed past Atton and walked over to the droid, "As a matter of fact, HK, I do. Will you assist me with Atton's training?" I asked.

The droid looked from me to Atton and then back at me, "Query: What is it exactly that you want me to do, Master- if you don't mind me asking."

"I just need you to shoot him while-"

HK equipped his blaster rifle and pointed it a Atton, who instantly jumped into a defensive stance and ignited his double bladed light saber, "Interjection: Master, if you wanted me to 'do away' with the shaggy meatbag, why didn't you say do earlier?"

Atton glare at the droid and glanced at me, "See! I knew this crazy droid wanted to kill me from the beginning! I should've asked Bao-Dur to stick a grenade in him during his maintenance." he growled.

"Amused Query: Is that a threat, shaggy meatbag?"

I stepped in between them, "Disengage your weapons, both of you." I ordered. HK put his rifle down followed by Atton, who shut off his light saber, but continued to glare at the droid. I turned to HK, "HK, I meant that I wanted you to shoot at Atton while he tries to deflect them for his training. You see- Atton is going to learn how to deflect blaster fire."

"Apology: I apologize, Master. I thought you were ordering the extermination of the meatbag." he apologized.

"Just, both of you, get in the cargo hold and we'll start the training." I ordered while entering the cargo hold. HK followed obediently followed by the hesitant Atton. Once Atton entered, I closed the door by using the Force and looked over at him, "Stand over at the far end and get ready." I instructed. I turned to HK, who was right beside me, "HK, equip your weapon and shields." HK-47 complied with my orders obediently and waited for further instructions. I waited til I saw Atton was ready, "Ok, HK, shoot at him slowly at first and then quicken the pace."

"Statement: Yes, Master. Engaging training protocols immediately." HK shot a single blaster towards Atton, who clumsily deflected the shot. The shot was deflect at the floor and left a mark.

"Your form, Atton, is sloppy and clumsy. Focus!" I shouted over to him. HK continued to shoot slowly as Atton clumsily deflected them. I crossed my arms, "Focus on deflecting the shots back at the shooter." I instructed.

Atton's POV

Hours Later...

I sat in the pilot's seat, bored. I had been training for about six standard hours until Alanah said I had enough for today. With nothing else for me to do, I went to the cockpit and dismissed T3 from his earlier piloting duties. Actually, he wasn't really doing anything, but watching over the controls and sneak into the security room for extra repairs. Not that I could blame him, it is very boring in here once you out the controls in autopilot. I had been here for about two and a half hours now, just listing hyper space routes and playing a mental game of pazaak to entertain myself. I took out my light saber and examined it. I couldn't help but find it ironic that the once Jedi Assassin was now a Jedi himself. I sighed and placed the light saber down beside me.

"So you are her padawan now?"

I jumped and turned around only to see Kreia, "Will you stop sneaking up on me!" I yelled angrily at her.

She ignored my outburst, "I find it most curious that she would choose a fool like you to train as a Jedi."

"And what is that suppose to mean, old hag?" I glared at her.

"I have noticed the relationship growing between you and the Exile. I do not like it." she said, clearly displeased. "Stay away from her, 'Atton'. You cause her too much distractions."

I scoffed, "Is that suppose to be threat, old woman? Listen, I told her everything. And you know what? She's forgiven me for it. She accepts what I did in my past."

"Oh? And so you think you are free?"

"Yeah, so you have nothing to blackmail me with, Kreia. So no more threats... no more of your requests." I sneered at her.

"Did you think truly held you? You are more of I fool than I thought. What truly held you was you- and let me show you." She spat.

I crouched down and held my head painfully. I growled in pain, 'That damn old witch... what is she trying to do?'

She continued, "I once held the galaxy by the throat... as you once held her by the throat and let her die slowly."

"Damn you, you damn witch." I hissed at her as she forced an image in my head. The image was of the old me... Jaq...

"And your emotions at that point is what you fear. I can unlock that part of you anytime I wish. It is a simple thing, the human mind, once it feels something strongly, it becomes etched in the memory, the subconscious. Shall I show you? That part of you that hungered to kill Jedi, that took pleasure from it?" she sneered, "Or perhaps you will continue to listen to my counsel and I shall ignore your pathetic attempts at freedom?"

I gasped and hatefully glared at Kreia once she stopped forcing images in my head. Kreia ignored my glare and waited. She seemed to be listening for something. "Hey, Attton, I was wondering if you were-" Alanah soon entered the cockpit carrying two drinks in her hand, but stopped when she noticed Kreia, "Oh... am I interrupting something?"

Kreia looked over at her, "No, I was simply asking the fool, if our arrival to Korriban will be taking any longer."

"We won't be nearing Korriban for a few more days if I'm correct." Alanah answered, glancing worriedly at me.

Kreia simply exited the cockpit without a word. I glared hatefully at her, while I still rubbed the side of my head.

Alanah looked over at me, "Did something happen before I arrived."

"No, just Kreia and I having a '_pleasant_' conversation." I grunted.

She looked at the direction Kreia left and then at me, "You two need to put your differences behind. Especially at this point of our journey."

I sneered, "That old witch can kiss my ass." I sat back down in my chair angrily.

I heard Alanah sigh and heard her footsteps getting closer, "Here, I got you a cup of Caffa." she offered me a drink.

"Thanks." I said, accepting the cup from her hand. I took a quick sip and looked over at her as she took a seat in the co-pilot's chair. "So... I thought you would be meditating or something."

She looked at me from her drink, "I was. I just came from meditating with Bao-Dur, Mira, and Mical. I thought you'd be lonely and bored here- all alone in the cockpit, so I thought I'd keep you company."

"You didn't have to; I'm kinda used to being cooped up in here alone." Though, I had to admit. I really liked her company.

"I know I didn't have to. I probably should be meditating and getting ready for Korriban, but I just felt like spending time with you." I noticed her stare down at her drink and smile a little.

I couldn't help but smile a little too. She always had that affect on me.

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Author's Notes: ELEVEN PAGES! ELEVEN! My hands hurt now:_sigh_: I really am sorry this chapter took so very long. But, like I mention in the last chapter, I didn't know what to write. It took two days to plan out what I wanted to write and finally deciding to write about Atton's Jedi training, a few fluff worthy moments, and Kreia being her bitchy self. I wanted to add more stuff in this chapter, but I noticed from a certain review, that I was taking way too long. It made me feel guilty, so I decided to get my ass into writing gear and save the other stuff I had in mind for a future chapter. I'm not really satisfied with this chapter, but whatever... And contrary to belief, I do have an outside life and I don't always have the time to work on this fanfic, though I am trying to. My friends are kinda mad at me 'cause I've been neglecting them to work on this, so now I have some to do some damage control, heh... I hoped you like this chapter, even if it's not great in my standards. I'm sorry if I sound kinda pissed off- I'm not and I don't want to give off that impression. :_twitches_: Thanks to my reviewers and readers!

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Reviewer Responses:

Nina Rand- You should check out Jade Empire; it's a very great game. The makers of Jade Empire are also the makers of KOTOR 1; Bio-Ware. Hopefully they are the ones making KOTOR 3. Thanks for reviewing!

Nini N.Snicket's Sis- :_lol_: Sounds like a very interesting dream. I can't imagine KOTOR people with Juniper Lee(love that show, BTW:_lol_:), but your dream sounds very funny. Kinda creepy in the end, though. A relationship bar? That would be a very interesting concept. At least you could check the relationship between your Exile&Atton, that would be neat. Thanks for reviewing!

Drew Ainsley- Heh, thanks for the complements! I'm glad I'm getting their personalties right. I'm happy with the Exile's personality; her personalty is kinda based off mines a bit. The first person POV was a little tricky to pull off at first, but I'm glad it didn't bother anyone. Thanks for reviewing!

Eris, Queen of the Shadows- Yes, the ending was a real '_WTF!_' moment for me. But most of the ending was cut from the final game. There were a lot of things missing and individual stories(like Atton's) were left unfinished. Such a disappointment, but that's what we fanfic authors are for. Thanks for reviewing!

Kuramas Girl Angel- :_lol_: Yeah, the review system is kinda nutty. It cuts off some of my reviews too. To answer your question, there were a lot of scenes cut from the final game. Such scenes were DS!Atton vs. Disciple or Atton's Death or Atton leaving with the LSFExile to, I guess, the outer rims at the end of the game. I know two websites that have more info on the missing content. If you want to know more about them, just e-mail me and I'll give you the website addresses. Thanks for reviewing!

Obsidian Thirteen- :_cowers in fear_: ... err... thanks for reviewing... :_runs_:


	10. A Big Dangerous Waste of Time

Emotions

Chapter 10: A Big Dangerous Waste of Time

Disclaimer: Starwars: KOTOR II: TSL belongs to Lucas Arts, Bio-ware, and Obsidian.

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Atton's POV

"Ok, we'll be nearing Korriban in few more hours. I estimate at around five hours in the least." I glanced to my right at Alanah, who was seated in the co-pilot's seat as usual. I noticed the almost glazed and distant look in her eyes, "Hey, are you ok?"

"Huh?" she looked over at me, "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just... I thought I felt a disturbance." she shook her head, "I'm probably just being paranoid." she said quietly.

There goes that feeling again. I have a bad feeling this whole Korriban thing. "What do think, we'll encounter on Korriban?" I asked her, keeping my eyes on the controls.

"I don't know," she sighed warily, "I only know what to expect from what the Masters told me back in my Padawan years. I know there are some old Sith tombs and maybe some artifacts, but that's all- from what I've been told. Kreia also told me of an abandoned Sith academy here."

I flipped a switch and leaned back in my chair, "Old tombs? Maybe we can explore some of them and salvage some pricey goods." I suggested while stroking my chin. We're in need of some credits anyways.

I saw Alanah cross her arms in the corner of my eye, "We don't have time to explore the tombs, Atton."

"Hey, come one, we might find something good in those tombs. Then, we can sell them and get some big credits." I grinned at her.

She shook her head disapprovingly, "Would you stop being a scoundrel!" she said, annoyed.

"A scoundrel?" I raised an eyebrow and smirked, "Hmm... I like the sound of that." Especially from her.

Alanah rolled her eyes, "I bet you do..."

I leaned on my armrest and grinned at her, "Admit it, you like scoundrels."

I saw a tint of red cover her face, but then, she turned to me and yelled, "Get your mind out of the gutter!"

"My mind isn't in the gutter... it's on you." I flirted.

"Seriously, when I'm not around, do you sit here all day and come up with those lines?" she scoffed, unimpressed.

"No- of course not." I leaned back into my chair and looked over at her, "When your not around, I can't help, but to think of you." I think my subconscious was screaming at me to stop or I'll end up getting slapped again, but hell, like I ever listen to my subconscious unless it's warning me of some real danger.

She rolled her eyes, "You're so unbelievably corny."

I winked at her, "You know you like it when I flirt with you-"

"Exile,"

The both of us jumped in our seats and looked back, "Kreia?" Alanah sighed in relief, while I glared at the old witch.

Kreia ignored my glare, "Exile, I would like a word with you in private."

"Of course, Kreia." I saw Alanah stand up and leave with Kreia.

I leaned back into my chair and fumed, 'Damn that old bat, she purposely interrupted us.'

Alanah's POV

I followed Kreia into the port dormitory and watched her take a seat on the floor like she always does, "Sit." she instructed.

I did as she told me to do and took a seat on the floor in front of her. I noticed the disapproving frown on her face, "Kreia, is something the matter?"

"Yes, Exile, there is." She crossed her arms, "I have noticed the growing relationship between you and the pilot." She frowned deeply, "I do not approve of it."

I frowned slightly, "What do you mean?"

"What do you think I mean? I am not ignorant of the growing relationship that has formed between the two of you. Do you think I have not noticed?" she spat.

"Kreia-"

"I know you have learned the truth of his past. You know he is a murderer, that he once walked the path of the darkside." she warned.

"I am fully aware of his past, but he has turned away from that path a long time ago." I defended. He's different. "And anyways, there is nothing going on between Atton and I. Our relationship is completely platonic." I persuaded.

She ignored me, "Have you forgotten our bond, Exile? I can sense everything you feel. I can even sense your emotions." I flinched, I had forgotten about our bond. "I can easily sense the feeling emitting from you whenever you are around him- love. You love him... you even lust for him as he does for you."

I blushed heavily, from both embarrassment and frustration, 'There is no emotion; there is peace.' I tried calming myself down, "Kreia, I am a Jedi... and Jedi do not harbor such feelings."

"You are a Jedi, correct, but not a full Jedi. In spite of that, Jedi can love, but they can also choose to love or not to. Are you aware of the Jedi Jolee Bindo?"

"Yes, yes, I know about him," I sighed frustratingly, "'_Pulling a Bindo_.' I know- I know. Master Vrook only told me this story a _thousand_ times."

"Then you aware of the dangers of love. It can and does lead to darker emotions- hate, lust, revenge... in giving into love, you are at risk of losing yourself or the person you care for to the darkside." she scowled. "Heed my words, Exile."

I hung my head low, "I..." I sighed, "I will heed your warning, Kreia. Is this all that you wanted to discuss."

"Yes, you may go now. I must meditate." she dismissed.

I slowly got up and left Kreia to her meditation. As I walked through the halls of the Ebon Hawk, I felt haunted by Kreia's words.

"_Then you aware of the dangers of love. It can and does lead to darker emotions- hate, lust, revenge... in giving into love, you are at risk of losing yourself or the person you care for to the darkside." _

Unknown to me, I found myself in the cargo hold with the growing need to meditate. I locked myself in the cargo hold and sat down in the center of the room. "There is no emotion; there is peace." I said as I closed my eyes. I found no peace. My thought kept going back to Kreia's words.

"_... in giving into love, you are at risk of losing yourself or the person you care for to the darkside."_

'If I gave into my emotions... am I willing to risk myself or Atton to the darkside?' This was the question that echoed in my mind. I waited in silence, as if waiting for an answer to pop up out of nowhere. There was none. Only I could answer that question.

_In giving into love..._

And the answer to that question...

_... you are at risk of losing yourself..._

... the answer was...

_... or the person you love to the darkside..._

"Atton..." I whispered sadly, hanging my head low.

'_Are you willing to lose him, dearest Exile?'_ a voice echoed in my head- Kreia.

... no...

'_A wise decision, Exile.'_

Hours Later...

We arrived on Korriban hours later. I had called everyone to the main hold to discuss our current mission. "Atton, Visas, and I will go out and explore around the ruins for Master Vash. I want everyone to stay on the ship until we come back. Are there any objections?" I looked around the room and saw none. "Very well." I looked over to Atton and Visas and signaled them to come. We left the main hold and walked our way down the loading ramp.

We stopped and looked around. The view around us was desolate and eerie. The dark energy was strong here and I could feel the echoes of what was once here.

I saw Atton cross his arms in the corner of my eye, "Why the hell would your Jedi Master want to hide here?"

"The dark energy is strong here. There are even echoes in the wind. I am not surprise a Jedi Master would go here. To learn and try to understand the way of the Sith- to learn why some Jedi fall." Visas answered solemnly.

Atton's POV 

"I still say that Jedi Master must be high on spice to want to stay in this place." I remarked. Alanah walked a head of us and stopped, as if she was listening to something. I rolled my eyes. No doubt Kreia was giving her one of her hour long lectures. I continued to observe my surroundings, 'Dust... tombs...rocks... more dust... giant statues... big rocks... small rocks... even more rocks.' My eyes then spotted something in the short distance. I walked over and noticed it was a corpse. It looked like it had been here for years now. I kneeled before it and started looking for anything valuable left. 'Pure Pazaak!' I looked at the objects I had just salvaged from the body; 253 credits and an orange light saber crystal. Not bad at all.

I stood up and ran over to Alanah, who was now standing in front of a tomb with Visas, "Hey, looked what I found." I exclaimed, standing on front of the women while showing them the freshly salvaged goods in my hands.

Alanah was brought out of her thoughts and looked at the objects in my hands. She looked up at my face with a curious look, "Where did you find these?" she asked.

"Over there. Who would have thought a corpse would be holding a light saber crystal and 253 credits." I answered as I pointed to the abandoned corpse. I looked back at Alanah and raised an eyebrow, "Something up?"

Alanah had an alarmed expression on her face, "Atton... you didn't..."

I was confused, "I didn't what-" I was interrupted by a loud roar over head. "What the hell was that!"

Both Visas and Alanah dropped into a defensive stance and ignited their light sabers. I gripped the hilt of mine and looked around. I saw nothing at first, but soon discovered three huge shimmering outlines. The outlines began heading towards us angrily. Before either Visas or I could react, Alanah stepped forward and used her Force Wave. What were once just shimmering outlines were now huge vicious looking lizards and by the force of Alanah's Force Wave, they were knocked back a few feet and stunned. Without hesitation, Alanah and Visas ran ahead, each to a separate creature and began slaying them. I looked over to a lone stunned and ran over to it, while igniting my light saber. I used Force Lightning on it and before it had a chance, I stabbed my double bladed light saber through its head- killing it instantly. I looked over to Alanah and Visas, noticing they had already slain the other two beasts.

They walked over to me, "Are you ok?" Alanah asked.

"I'm fine, but what in the hell were those beasts?" I asked, pointing to the now deceased beast beside me.

"Those are Hississ, the guardians of the dead in this planet." Visas answered, "They attacked, because you disturbed the bodies of the dead."

Alanah stared at me sternly, "That mean we should leave the bodies alone. No looting, Atton." she sternly warned.

"What! It's not like I knew what would happen." I replied defensively.

Alanah sighed and walked past me with Visas following her, "Just leave the bodies alone, Atton. I do not want to face anymore Hississ while we're here." I fumed as I followed the two through the valley.

After a few minutes of walking through the desolate valley, we came upon an narrow path and a 'distinct' smell getting stronger as we made our way through the path. We then came upon a cave. "What the hell is that smell! Smells worse than an over crowded bantha stable." I remarked disgustedly, covering my nose from the strong scent.

"Listen- the wind from the cave tells of a great power within... recently awakened." Visas commented.

Visas took this whole dark energy thing so damn seriously. I rolled my eyes, "Yes, a great powerful stench!" I said in a snide remark, earning me a '_glare_' from the blinded Jedi. Alanah ignored both of us and stared intently at the cave. I looked over to her, "We aren't going inside are we?"

Alanah glanced at me, "No, we don't have time to." she answered as she continued up the trail. Visas and I followed silently. We continued through the path until we were attacked by a small herd of tuk'atas, which were quickly disposed of. We continued to the entrance and found it wide open.

"Looks like someone left the doors of the Academy wide open. Heh, this doesn't look suspicions at all." I remarked sarcastically.

"The entrance was left open on purpose. Someone is expecting us." Visas commented.

"I have a bad feeling about this." I said as we entered the dark academy. As we entered, I looked around. This place was eerie and I couldn't help but feel a slight chill run up my spine.

"Whatever occurred here in the past, it definitely left its mark." Alanah said, walking to the center of the room.

"What do you mean?" I asked as I walked around, looking around the vacant room.

"There are echos here." Visas whispered absently, "I feel a large about of hate and anger here. It is... unsettling."

"I feel it too. It's as if our mere presence here is disturbing this place." Alanah replied back.

There was a loud thud from behind, causing all of us to jump in surprise. We looked back and discovered the doors had closed behind us. "Oh hell, no!" I cursed, running over to the doors. "Frack! The damn thing is locked!"

She calmly walked over to the door and examined the door carefully, "You're right and there seems to be no way to open it from here."

"We are not alone here, it seems." Visas observed.

"Well, isn't this great!" I scoffed angrily. Sorry, but I do not want to be locked up in this creepy place.

Alanah frowned at me, "There has to be a computer terminal here that can open the doors. While we search for one, we can search around for Master Vash."

I raised and eyebrow and crossed my arms, "How you even know she is still here?" I asked curiously. If a Jedi Master was here, I think I would have felt them through the Force- thanks to Alanah's training. But, since landing, I haven't felt anything. Just a lot of emptiness here and a small tinge of the dark energy that Visas keeps mentioning.

I noticed Alanah tense up a bit, "I know she's here. I... felt _it_..." she said softly, almost distantly. She walking passed me and headed through the empty hallway with Visas following silently behind her.

'She felt it? What does that mean?' I shook my head and sighed. I gave one last look at the door behind me before I ran to catch up to Alanah and Visas. We walked through the dark and empty hallway until we were only a few feet from the entrance to the center chamber. Alanah stopped suddenly followed by Visas. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Wait here." Alanah simply ordered, leaving Visas and I to ponder her motives. She calmly walked closer to the entrance and stopped.

"What the hell is she trying to do?" I asked out loud. Visas remained silent and simply watched Alanah, as if she were anticipating her to do _something_. I watched her intently. She still stood there; not moving an inch. About a second later, she raised her right hand towards the entrance- sending a Force Wave. There were two pairs of painful grunts that echoed throughout the halls followed by the sounds of bodies falling to the ground. She looked back at us and signaled for us to follow. I ran to her side, "What was that?"

She ignored me and glared in front of her. I followed her gaze and saw the bodies of two Sith Assassins laying limp on the floor across the chamber. "Sith Assassins... just like the ones from Peragus." she replied. I stared at her silently. Her normal relaxed expression had changed ever since landing on Korriban. I noticed how distant she became, especially around me.

"I sense there are more of them lurking around in the shadows." Visas stated, walking over to the locked door in the corner.

Alanah grabbed the hilt of her light saber and headed to the closed doors in the corner to her left. "I'll explore the west of the Academy," she said while igniting her light saber and using it to pry open the doors in front of her, "I want you and Visas to explore the east."

I stared at her in disbelief, "You're kidding me, right? You actually want us to split up when there are those tuk'ata things running around and Sith Assassins lurking around- waiting to us... waiting to kill you." She can't be serious... right?

She kept her back towards me and was currently preoccupied with prying the doors open, "If we spilt up, we can explore the Academy faster. The faster we do, the faster we find Master Vash and the faster we will find a terminal that can open the exit to the Academy." she answered with an annoyed tone in her voice. The she pulled out her light saber from the doors and they flung open.

Dammit, she was right. But, I'll be damned if she is going to explore by herself. "At least let me come with you. You'll be outnumbered easily."

She glanced over her shoulder to me, "Atton- I suggest you follow the orders you were instructed with." she said, her voice full of annoyance and ice.

'Damn stubborn woman.', I growled irritatingly. "If you think I'm going to just let you explore this place alone than-"

"Atton- just shut up and do what you are told." She spat, "I will not keep arguing with you about this." She turned around and calmly walked away.

It took me a while to recover from her outburst. 'What the fracking hell is her problem!' I screamed in my mind. I frowned deeply and scoffed, "Whatever..." and stormed to the East entrance, fuming.

Alanah's POV

I felt a ping of guilt ache in my heart, 'I shouldn't have yelled at him.' I thought to myself.

"_Do not mind the fool, Exile."_ Kreia said telepathically through our bond, _"Do not allow yourself to get distracted at this point."_

I sighed, 'I know...' I walked through the empty hall of what seemed like small dormitory with only four rooms. It looked like a disaster here. The beds were turned over, sheets ripped and tattered, desks were shattered, and debris was everywhere. It was deadly silent here; creating the feeling of uneasiness. I was not alone here.

I stood silently, listening for any signs of life in the room.

"_Remember what I said when I taught you to listen through the Force." _Kreia reminded, _"Listen."_

I centered myself and concentrated on the Force. I heard the sound of breathing coming from different directions. I then used the Force on my sight- the technique Visas taught me. I looked around and saw four red figured slowly sneaking to surround me- two in from and two from behind.

I reached over for the hilt of my light saber and waited. The figures all raised their weapons and lunged at me at once. I ignited my light saber and slashed the attackers in front of me across their chests while sending a Force Wave to the attackers in front of me. My vision returned normal and I glare at the two Sith who were on their knees, clutching their chests as if they were trying to stop the blood that was spilling out from their wounds. I raised my right hand to the air and simply summoned a Force Storm that instantly ended all four of their lives. I walked around the bodies, avoiding the pool of blood surrounding them and began exploring the rooms at the end of the hallway. I searched the two metal boxes and looting them of any useful items.

"_There is nothing more in this room. I suggest you move on."_ Kreia suggested.

I walked out of the small dormitory and entered the central chamber. My eyes traveled towards an entrance leading toward another hallway. 'Something is there.'

I walked over to the entrance and jumped slightly as a loud hiss followed by a smug of poisonous gas emitted from the hallway. 'Something is definitely here.' I thought to myself as I watched the poisonous vapors began to disappear.

"_Indeed you are correct. I sense that what you are looking for my greet you in the end."_

I nodded and ran down the hallway, quickly enough to avoid the poisonous gas. I finally reached down the hallway and was greeted by two doors at two my left and right. I clutched the light saber in my right hand tightly when I heard a hiss from behind me- and it wasn't a hiss from the poisonous vents. I spun around and blocked an attack with my light saber. Silver collied with red as I tried to push the Sith back. The Sith stumbled back, but he suddenly raised his hand as of he was controlling the Force. I screamed out in pain as I felt like my life was being pulled from my body. The pain stopped and I started to feel weaker and slightly dizzy. The Sith used this opportunity to swing this light saber at me, but I dodged it just in time. I shrugged off the dizzy feeling I was having and tried to concentrate on my opponent.

"_Focus."_

I tightened my grip on my light saber as the Sith and I circled eachother. He attacked first, aiming his light saber to stab my stomach. I moved out of the way and kneed him in his stomach, causing to grunt painfully. I brought my light saber over head and rammed it through his back. The sith collapsed on the floor with a thud. There was no sigh of life in him and I left his body to rot here in this damned Academy.

I walked over to the door on my left and examined it. 'Damn, it's locked!' I cursed mentally. I felt a slight disturbance and quickly moved aside, nearly missing the violet blade of a light saber. I spun around and sent a Force Wave through the hallway, revealing two more Sith Assassin. They were flung across the hall and stunned. I glanced at the violet light saber that was still embedded in the door. I grinned wickedly at it and smirked back at the weaponless Sith, "I think you forgot your light saber," I said smugly as I yanked it out of the door with my left hand, "But I think I'll let you have it back." I threw the still ignited light saber at the weaponless Sith. He hissed in pain as the light saber pierced through his chest. He stumbled back and finally fell to the ground beneath him. The other Sith finally recovered and ran at me with angry fury, raising his light saber to strike at me. I blocked his attack and successfully blocked his furies. Our weapons clashed as we met head on, trying to push each other off. He almost overpowered me, but I was able to finally push him off. He stumbled backwards, but held his ground. I stood in a defensive stance and waited for him to make his move. I heard the hiss of the poisonous vents and glanced behind me. When I looked back the Sith lunged at me; ready to strike at me. I jumped out of the way, but he was able to at least slash my side. I gasped in pain and fell to my knees, while clutching my right side. I had even dropped my weapon. 'Frack!' I cursed, I brought my left hand from the fresh wound and stared at it. My own blood had stained my hand and was quickly drenching my robes. I glared at the Sith, who was now standing a few feet in front of me. He clutched the hilt of his light saber tightly and slowly walked over to me.

'Overconfidence. He thinks just because he has successfully inflicted pain upon me, he has a chance to win.' I glared at the Sith coldly, 'Never underestimate an opponent- one of the first things I learned during my years as a student at the Enclave.'

The Sith was now standing directly in front of me and raised his weapon over his head. The glowing red blade was pointed downward. Positioned to stab me- to kill me. I heard the hiss of vent releasing more poisonous gas. I grinned. Before he had the chance to even strike at me I used the Force to send a massive wave; sending him flying across the hallway as another smog of poison was released. The Sith began to cough and choke from the poison beginning to suffocate him. He eventually fell to the floor; dead from the poison.

I gave out a heavy sigh, 'I really hate this place now.' Ignoring the sharp pain at my side, I managed to pull myself up. My wound was still bleeding and was still soaking my robes. The once white fabric was drenched in crimson red. Using the Force, I was able to heal the wound and the pain had vanished. I glanced over to my light saber, which had switch off when I had dropped it. I walked over and pick it up, then examined it for any damages. Fortunately, there were none. A loud rumble echoed throughout the room and the doors to my left had suddenly opened, causing me to jump. I walked into the room with caution, 'What is this?' The room was filled with caged tuk'atas- all unhealthily skinny.

"_This was a training room. The Sith trainees would practice here- usually practicing their Force powers and melee skills on their 'unfortunate' slaves."_

"Their slaves? But, what if they killed them?"

"_Slaves were just slaves- it did not matter if they died or not. To the Sith, they were just tools."_

'Sounds like a Sith scum.' I frowned. This room held a lot of anger, helplessness, and pain; it sent echoes throughout the room that sent chills running up my spin. I noticed the computer terminal in the center of the room. Once I was able to access it, the doors behind me closed. "No, what did I do!" said I cried. I ran over to the door and tried to examine a way to reopen the doors.

"Alanah?" a voice called out from the other side of the door.

I recognized that voice, "Atton?" I whispered. Behind me, I heard the creaking sounds of rusty cages opening up and the growls of restless and angry tuk'atas. '... Frack...'

Atton's POV

"Alanah!" I yelled angrily, while banging the doors with my fist. The was locked tightly and even my security skills couldn't open these blasted doors up. I growled angrily as I heard the unmistakable sounds of a light saber in some sort of combat.

"She will be fine." Visas stated calmly.

I glared back at her, "How can you say that when she's locked in a room full of tuk'atas!"

She frowned, "You should have more faith in her- faith in the Force."

I scoffed, 'How can she be so calm in this situation?' I shook my head, 'But she's right.' I sighed and leaned on the door. I listened to the sounds of muffled sounds of a blazing light saber and tuk'ata grunts. 'I'm pathetic,' I glared down at the small puddle of blood in the center of the room, 'The only reason I wanted to learn how to use the Force was to help her- to protect her. Heh, like she'll accept any help from me... that stubborn, moody ass-'

The doors behind me opened up and I fell straight on my ass, "Son of a-"

"Atton?" I looked up and met her gaze. She looked absolutely exhausted. Her hair had strands of hair all over the place, her robes were slightly tattered, and-

My eyes widened as I spotted the large blood stain at her side, "What the hell happened?" I pointed to her side as I staggered up.

She sighed, "Sith scum. I'm alright though." she looked up at me, "What happened to your cheek?" She pointed at the thin cut along the right side of my cheek.

I placed my hand on the scare, "It's nothing- I just let my guard down and a Sith appeared out of nowhere." In truth, I got it right after I hacked into the computer terminal and unlocked the training room doors. I saw Alanah walk into the training room through the camera and I just ran off to stop her. She didn't know anything about these 'tests' and I wanted to stop her before she took it alone. Before I even exited the dormitories, a Sith appeared and attacked me.

She frowned slightly and I saw a small glint of worry in her eyes. She turned her attention to Visas, "Are you injured as well, Visas."

Visas shook her head, "I am uninjured."

Alanah nodded her head and looked over at me, "Did you find anyway to open the doors to the exit?"

"No, but the computer I hacked into stated the doors can be unlocked from a terminal inside that room." I pointed to the doors in front of us. As if on cue, the doors opened- revealing a dimly lit room. But, the glow of the computer screen was seen. 'Pure pazaak.' I grinned. In the corner of my eye, I saw Alanah tense up and her demeanor change.

She walked past Visas and I without a word. I glanced over at Visas; she nodded and we follow her in the room. What we encountered was not a pretty sight at all. Alanah let out a horrified gasp and stumbled backwards a bit.

"Ah yes, I felt this Jedi's death shortly after we arrived on Korriban." Visas revealed, standing calmly as she stare at the dead Jedi Master's corpse in the cage.

I cross my arms, "You could have said something about it. Instead you let us run around this hell hole searching for a corpse!" I sneered at her.

"I-I felt it too..." Alanah whispered dejectedly.

"You what! So why keep us searching for her if you knew she was already dead?" I frowned. We risked our lives here, only to find a corpse. If you ask me, this was a big, dangerous waste of time.

Alanah walked over to the body and slumped to the floor, "I didn't want to believe it. I had to see it for myself." she replied quietly, almost like a whisper. "Master Vash... she was one of the Jedi who exiled me." she hung her head down, "I was too late..."

Visas walked over to Master Vash's body and kneeled down to pick up something that was beside her body. It was a datapad. Visas silently gave the datapad to Alanah. She accepted it and read over it once. I walked over to her, "What does it say?"

"She wrote about Sith and how she wasn't going to let them capture her." Alanah rose to her feet and placed the datapad in her robe. "Atton, use the terminal to unlock the exit." she ordered solemnly.

"You got it. It's about time we get the hell out of this place anyways." I said as I walked over to the terminal.

* * *

Author's Notes: :_Author gives readers sad puppy eyes_: I'M SO SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE ME:_clears throat_: Anyways, I'm truly sorry this took so extremely long to update. I really appreciate the patience- I truly do. A lot of things have happened to me to... _"distract"_ me from writing. I've been very busy lately. :_cries_: Just to inform you all- my lovely readers, expect another late up update for the next chapter as well. I'll be going on vacation for about three to four days. Since I have no means of computer technology with me during my vacation. But I'll use the spare time I'll have to create an outline for the next chapter, which will be no problem since I already know what I want the eleventh chapter to be about. Just to give you a hint: Sion, cave, and Atton freaking out like a crazed ronto. Oh... and MAYBE some Exile&Disciple Fluff. YES, you did not hear(or read) me wrong. I'll be adding Mical/Disciple to the picture more often. He is an important factor in the whole Exile&Atton romance... or will it'll be Exile&Mical? Who knows... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHH:_cough_: Did I just earn some DS points :_smiles evily_: Anyways, let me explain this chapter a bit. It's simply the Korriban exploration- which I might add is my least favorite planet to travel to on KOTOR II. I hated the Sith and Kreia's long ass lectures. :_cough_: Back on topic, Kreia is manipulating poor Alanah, the Exile, to be wary of her love for Atton. If you observed in this chapter, she snapped at him pretty harshly, didn't she? She's only trying to push Atton away- to distance herself from him. Atton will find this out soon and then a whole big confrontation will ensue. But that's for later chapters. Oh and you may have asked why I choose Atton to explore with Alanah and Visas. I chose him because that's what I did the in game. Plus, he is pretty hilarious with his little snipe remarks on Korriban. Quote: "Yes, a great powerful stench." End Quote. :_snickers_: I love Atton! Thank you to all my readers and reviewers! See ya when I get back from vacation :_runs of to start packing_:

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Reviewer Responces:

Nina Rand- It sound very interesting, I can't wait to read it. Keep up the great job on your story by the way! Thanks for reviewing!

Obsidian Thirteen- I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for reviewing!

Kuramas Girl Angel- Yup, can you believe they even considered on killing off Atton:shakes fist at Obsidian: It was said if you got more influence over Atton than with Mical and was fully LS; Atton was suppose to encounter Sion and fight him. Then Sion would win and torture him! The Exile would later find Atton. He'd confess his love for the Exile and then dies. Obsidian doesn't like the fangirls. :_frown_s: Don't say that about your story- it's not crap! I really like it and it's very lighthearted and cute! Thanks for reviewing!

LuvsDelkoSpeed- I'm glad like it! I hope you continue to read the future chapters. Thanks for reviewing!

Danni Rand- :lol: I thought about it, but I'll save the killing of Kreia for the Exile in the end. Believe me, Kreia will get what's coming to her. Thanks for reviewing!

The Fallen Jedi- I'm happy you liked it. I hope you'll like the future chapters as well. Thanks for reviewing!


	11. Apathy is Death

**Emotions**

**Chapter 11:** Apathy is Death

**Disclaimer:** Must I repeat myself? Fine, for the sake of not getting sued :_grumbles_: I don't own anything that is related to Star Wars: Knights of the old Republic. The guys your looking for are Lucas Arts, Bio-ware, and Obsidian.

**Author's Notes: **I'm tired of writing out 'Hours Later' or 'Minutes Later.'. I think it cheapens my story. Anyways, when you see the dividing line, just remember it means that some time has elapsed- whether it's minutes or hours or days- some time has elapsed. :_cough_: Enjoy the chapter!

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Atton's POV

"What the hell do you mean she's gone!" I bellowed at the old women before me. The rest of the crew stared at Kreia, waiting for her response.

She frowned deeply, "She is gone." she replied.

Alanah's POV

"_Malak_?" I said breathlessly as I stared the face of the old Sith Lord... an old friend... 'This can't be. He's dead... Revan killed him during the Jedi Civil War. What is happening?' I continued to stare at him as I felt almost overwhelmed to see him again.

He stood looked around to the other Jedi until he eyes landed on me, "General Halo." he smiled softly.

'This is the Malak I remember. The Malak before the Mandalorian Wars- before he became twisted by the dark side.'

Atton's POV

I growled in irritation, "Dammit, old woman, just fracking tell me where Alanah has gone off to!" I glared angrily at her.

"Atton, please calm down. Your frustrations are not helping the matter." Mical walked over beside me and placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder, "Remember: There is no emotion-"

I shrugged his hand off and glared over at him, "Oh, go shove that Jedi code up your ass, Mical"

His eye swidened, "_Excuse me!_"

"Both of you shut the hell up already! This isn't helping the situation!" Mandalore ordered stepping in between the both of us.

"_Men_..." I heard Mira scoff in the corner. I could just imagine her rolling her eyes at us.

I turned my attention back at the old schutta, "Tell me now, Kreia! Where did Alanah go to?" I closed my fists tightly, trying to control my anger.

"Fool," she spat, "Fine, if it will ease your mind. She has gone off to the darkness... to confront her past. And that is all I will say." She turned her back and began walking towards the port dormitory. "Now leave me- I must meditate."

"'_The darkness_?' What the bloody hell does that mean?" Mandalore crossed his arms.

"What did she mean when she said the General went to confront her past?" Bao-Dur asked as he stared at the spot Kreia once stood.

'She has gone off to the darkness... to confront her past.? More of the old schutta's cryptic mess.' I growled frustratingly. 'The darkness... what the hell does that mean?' I raked my fingers through my hair, 'Did Alanah go back to the Academy? No... she has no reason to... wait...' My eyes widened and I grinned, 'I know where she is!' I spun around and face the group, "Everyone, wait here!" I ordered as I ran down the loading ramp and out of the Hawk. 'Dammit, Alanah. You have a lot of explaining to do once I find you.' I ran past the pillars and the tombs to the trail that lead to the Sith Academy, but that wasn't where I was going. I stopped once I was only a few feet from the cave entrance.

"Atton!" A voice called out from behind.

I turned around only to see blondie running towards me, 'Sure, he'll gladly stay behind if Alanah tells him to, but when some else orders him to do something- he disobeys those orders.' I thought bitterly as I waited for him to catch up. Once he was close enough I glared at him, "Didn't I say wait on the ship?"

He frowned slightly, "Yes you did, but you left so abruptly. Did you find out where the Exile went off to?" Mical asked, eager to find our missing leader.

'The Exile... dammit stop calling her that!' I crossed my arms, "You know she has a name, right? So start using it." I hated hearing people call her 'The Exile'. Didn't anybody see how much it pains her to remember or even be reminded of her exile.

Mical sighed irritatingly, "Fine- did you find out where '_Alanah_' ran off to?" He emphasized when he said her name.

I looked over to the cave, "She's in there, I'm sure of it."

Mical followed my gaze and stared into the cave. He grimaced, "The dark energy is certainly very powerful here."

My frown deepened, "Yeah, but it's more intense this time. I can feel it growing stronger." I gripped the hilt of my light saber. I saw Mical stare at me, surprised. "_What_!"

He shook his head, "Nothing- I just find it surprising when you talk about the Force in such a way. Almost Jedi-like."

'Is he trying to insult me or something?' I felt my left eye twitch, "Well, that's because I _am_ a Jedi."

"I'm sorry if you took that the wrong way, it's just... you never spoke of the Force in a way. You were always very dismissive about it." He spoke awkwardly.

'This kid is really irritating me,' I thought to myself as my left eye twitched again. "Listen, why don't you go back to the Hawk, and I'll go find Alanah." I suggested as I turned around to enter the cave.

He grabbed my shoulder, "Wait! You are possibly going in there by yourself. I'm going with you." He offered.

'Force, why are you doing this to me!' I gave him a dull look, "I can handle this on my own."

He frowned again, "You have no idea what awaits you inside that cave and you haven't had any advanced training as I have- you'll need my help. Plus," He paused and stared into the cave worriedly, "You aren't the only one who is worried about her."

* * *

Alanah's POV

I watched as the republic soldiers fought off the Mandalorian troops. I stumbled back until I felt the stone wall behind me. I combed my fingers through my bangs as I felt my eyes start to tear up. 'How is all this happening... my memories...' I slide down to the floor and continued to watch the fighting. 'Why is this happening... I don't want to remember...' I closed my eyes tightly and covered my ears to block the sounds of fighting.

They wouldn't go away... Even as I close my eyes... I can still see the fighting... I can still feel death surround me...

I felt a tear escape and freely cascaded down my cheek. I couldn't help, but feel so weak...

"_This place holds a lot of memories, huh?"_-Atton?-_ "You're really strong, you know that. To be able to confront your past like this."_

I remember that... he said that... he told me I was strong... that night on the Dantooine Enclave...

That night... I made a wish...

'_I wish... I wish to stay strong...' _

'_... for you, Atton...'_

... for you, Atton...

I pulled myself up and grabbed the hilt of my light saber and ignited it, "... For you... Atton..." I whispered softly.

Atton's POV

I frowned deeply as I trudged through the bloody cave with Mical. The stench became even worse and listening to Mical's on going stories about what he learned about Jedi as a historian and other republic nonsense _really_ started to irritate me even more. 'This is what hell must feel like.' I thought to myself, 'Force! Where is a cantina when I need one!' I stopped suddenly when I felt a slight sensation run through my whole body- as if someone was... hugging me for something. Whatever it was, it was warm... and it felt really '_nice_'. It was calming through all the '_dark energy_' pulsating through out this cave.

This calm feeling... this warmth... it made me think of Alanah...

"Atton?" Mical looked over his shoulder at me. "Is something troubling you?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm fine. I just thought..." I shook my head and cleared my throat, "It's nothing. Let's just find Alanah and get the hell out of here." I avoided Mical's gaze and continued through the cave.

* * *

Alanah's POV

"_Apathy is death_." Atton, Bao-Dur, Mical, T3-M4, and Kreia chanted(beeped in T3's case) as they stepped closer and closer towards me. I stepped back cautiously until my back was pressed against the wall. 'Frack.' I cursed mentally. My right hand gripped the hilt of my light saber tightly.

I stared at the figures before me, all looming over me with their weapons poised to strike at any given time. I gazed at each individual from left to right. 'T3-M4... Bao-Dur... Kreia... Mical...' I stared at the last person, '... Atton...' His eyebrows were narrowed, eyes seemingly glowing with a murderous gaze, and his jaw clenched tightly.

'No, they are not who they seem,' I ignited my light saber and stood in a defensive stance, 'They are just visions- just like Malak, Bastila, and the rest were.'

Bao-Dur, Mical, and Atton, all at once, lunged at me with their sabers raised. Before they were able to strike, I used the Force to summon a Force wave. Their bodies, along with T3's, vanished. And all that was left was 'Kreia'.

* * *

Atton's POV 

"She's in there..." I stared the stone doors. 'I know she's in there... I can feel it... somehow.'

Mical approached the door and examined it, as if he were trying to find a way to unlock them. He looked over to me, "What do we do? The doors are locked."

I sighed tiredly, "I'm going to wait here, until she comes out." I turned my back, walked over to a boulder, and sat on it. I looked over to Mical, "You do what you want, but I'm going to wait here for her.

Mical glanced over to the doors and then at me, "I'll wait too." he said simply and sat on the ground in a meditating position.

I stared at the doors and waited. 'Score is zero on both sides. I deal a four... and the opponent a-"

The sound of ancient doors opening interrupted my pazaak game. I stood and raced over to the doors; meeting Mical along the way. We both stood cautiously, waiting for the doors to open fully and to greet whatever was on the other side.

'Alanah...'

She stood there with the most exhausted look on her face. Her face graced a thin cut on her upper left cheek, a cut on her lower lip, and dirt and dust had dirtied her face. Her hair was left in disarray; strand stuck out in various places and her braids were now undone. Her robes looked worse than before; for they had rips in several places, a huge dried blood stain, and dust lingered on it.

She smiled warily, "Hey guys..." Before she collapsed on the ground, I rushed to catch her before she fell to the ground.

I looked over to Mical as I carried Alanah's unconscious body, bridal style, "We need to get her to the Med lab fast."

He gave me a quick glance, but he kept his gaze on the unconscious Alanah. "Let me heal her first and we'll treat her back in the Mad lab at the Ebon Hawk later." he insisted. He used the Force to heal her visible wounds and give her a little bit of strength. But, it wasn't enough to bring her out of her unconscious state. I gazed down worriedly at her, 'Hold on, Babe.'

* * *

Alanah's POV 

_Where am I?_

"Alanah?"

I slowly opened my eyes- my vision blurred from the bright lights. I saw a blurry figure stand over me. He was smiling.

_Atton?_

My vision cleared up slowly and soon I saw the face of a relieved Mical greet me. I smile tiredly up at him, though slightly dissappointed, "Hey..." To be very honest, I was really happy to see the face of the real Mical... instead of that vision back at the cave. I looked around the room- slightly confused, "How did I get here?"

"Atton and I went looking for you." He paused looking worriedly at me, "By the time we found you, you had just gotten out of that _place_ and you collapsed. Atton carried you out of the cave and we went straight to the Ebon Hawk where I could properly treat your wounds." I struggle to sit up, but I still felt so weak and tired. Mical placed and gentle hand on my shoulder, "Don't over exert yourself- your still recovering."

I sighed. He was right, plus, I am too tired to even lift an arm. "How long was I out?" I asked, tiredly looking up at him.

"For a few hours now. I think about six hours at the least." he answered. He looked so tired...

'_Poor Mical_... he must be tired of having to treat my wounds so often.' I thought guiltily. "I'm sorry for being such a bother." I sincerely apologized.

He looked a little shocked from apology, "There is no need for an apology." He shyly placed his hand over mine, "Whatever I can do to help- I will gladly do it... for you." he smiled warmly down at me.

I stared down at his hand over my own. I felt heat rush up my cheeks, but I ignore it. I looked up at Mical and smiled in return, "Thank you, Mical... for always being such a good friend."

I felt him squeeze my hand gently, "I'll always be here for you, Exile."

Atton's POV 

I watched them bitterly from a far. Jealousy boiled up from inside. I turned my heel and walked away, back to cockpit. Shortly after Mical and I had brought Alanah back, we received a message from one of the Mandalorians back at Dxun. Saying that we were needed over there immediately by Master Kavar. So while Mical treated Alanah back in the med lab, I took care of piloting and setting course for Dxun. I walked back to the cockpit and sat down. 'Damn that, Mical.' I thought bitterly to myself. The recent image of Mical and Alanah together haunted my thoughts. I gave out an irritated sigh, "Force, I need a cantina!"

"So you understand now, do you?" A familiar cryptic voice echoed from behind, a tint of amusement hidden in her voice.

I rolled my eyes in annoyance, "What do you want now, Kreia?" I closed my eyes and leaned into my seat. 'If I was paid credits every time this blasted old schutta witch snuck up on me- I'd be one rich bastard right now.' I thought amusingly, despite the situation.

"Nothing, I just find it amusing you still have hope the Exile will look upon you as she does the Disciple."

I growled angrily as I spun around in my seat, "What!" My eyes widened when I didn't find the old woman anywhere. I turned around in my seat and held the bridge of my nose as I gave out a long and frustrated sigh, "I knew it... I'm going crazy, aren't I?"

'I seriously need a tall pitcher of Juma right now...'

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Another chapter done. Sorry this took even longer to update. :_laughs nerviously_: Anyways... I added Di&Exile flufferz- like I said I would, but believe me when I say this will be an Atton&Exile ficcy. I'm just adding Di&Exile fluff for the story. It adds tension, no? At least I did add a bit of Atton&Exile fluff in the mix. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's short compared to other chapters, but what can I say? Thanks to all reviewers and readers. Oh and this is **important**: I want to know who you want on the two groups in the Onderon and Dxun adventure. I've already decided that Alanah, Kreia, and Bao-Dur will be on the group that goes to Onderon, but I'm having a tough time deciding who will venture to the Sith Temple on Dxun. Here are the choices: Team 1: Leader- Atton with Mira and Disciple, Team 2: Leader- Atton with Mandalore and Visas, or Team 3: Leader- Visas with Atton and Disciple. Personally, I like Team 1 , but that's just me. You can tell me in a review or even e-mail me, either is fine. Thanks in advance. Oh yeah, I may change my pen name soon. Magenta2 seems kind of plain and I feel like changing it. I just thought I'd let you know in case I do change my pen name.

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**Reviewer Responses:**

LuvsDelkoSpeed- Don't worry, I was just kidding when I said this story might turn out a Di&Exile romance. This story will be an Atton&Exile fic- I swear it will. Thanks for reviewing!

Danni Rand- :_lol_: Frack is my new favorite word. I swear I will run it dry by the end of this fanfiction series :_grins_: I'm glad you like my story so far. Thanks for reviewing!

Ewanlover64- Thanks for reviewing! Hmm.. I wonder why nobody likes Di&Exile pairings. I kinda like it. :notices glares from Atton&Exile fanpeoples: That is not to say the Atton&Exile pairing is my top favorite. Hehehh...

Kuramas Girl Angel- Patience, young one. Kreia will get what's coming to her soon... in a couple more chapters. Ohhh... I can't wait to read that chapter of your story. :_waits patiently for KGA to update_: Thanks for reviewing!


	12. Thought

**Emotions**

**Chapter 12:** Thought

**Disclaimer:** For the sake of not getting sued :_grumbles_: I don't own anything that is related to Star Wars: Knights of the old Republic II. The guys your looking for are Lucas Arts, Bio-ware, and Obsidian. Hah, can't sue me now:_dances_:

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Atton's POV

"You're too late." The Sith Master sneered triumphantly, "We have done what was needed to be done. Soon, Onderon shall fall, and with it, the Republic shall die."

"Yeah-yeah... just more of your Sith talk. Don't get too overconfident just yet." I glared at the Sith Master as my grip on my light saber tightened. Mira, Mical, and I fell into a defensive stance. Our light sabers humming and glowing brightly in a mixture of orange(Mira), yellow(Atton), and green(Mical).

The three Sith Masters didn't appear threatened. Instead, the middle- who I assumed was the leader- stepped forward, "But what is this?" he looked at all three of us, but his gaze rested on me, "Of course, the Force had guided you here. It echoes within you, yet, I sense it is... untrained."

"Untrained? What do you mean?" Mical asked, glancing between me and the Sith Master.

"Force adepts have managed to get this far? Incredible." the Sith Master chuckled lightly.

I heard Mira growl in annoyance, but I smirked at the Sith, "Yeah, who would have guessed that a bunch of 'adepts', who haven't gotten even got a single year worth of training, managed to infiltrate a Sith Base- filled with highly experienced Sith '_elites_'- and get far enough to kick more Sith ass."

The other two Sith Masters ignited their light sabers and stepped forward, but the leader raised his arms to stop them. "Do not provoke them, Atton." Mical warned.

I rolled my eyes and ignored him, 'Someone tell this kid to lighten up once in a while.'

The leader kept this gaze on me, "I see..." he pointed straight at me, "You... yes, I can sense it. You have the potential to wield the Force. And not in the ways of the Jedi or their flawed teachings. No, their order is rooted in weakness."

"You are wrong!" Mical exclaimed and stepped forward. "You know nothing of their teachings- all you know is the immoral teachings of the darkside."

"So says one of their puppets." One of the Sith behind the leader sneered.

"_The Jedi and their flawed teachings._" The leader spat, as if saying those word left a bad taste in his mouth. "Will you let yourself become a puppet of the Force?" he asked, addressing the question directly at me. I frowned and didn't answer. "The Jedi would have you deny the strength of your emotions- the strength of you own will. Can't you feel the power of this place? It echoes through you like a second voice. Accept it... embrace it."

"We stand by the Jedi and that will _never_ change." Mical argued back, thinking this was directed at all of us.

"I'm sick of hearing you talk!" Mira remarked, "I say cut the chit chat and let's end this."

I remained silent as I switched off my lightsaber. Both Mira and Mical looked over a me, "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Mira asked, looking at my like I just lost my mind.

"Atton?" Mical questioned warily.

I ignored both of them and continued to glare at the Sith Master in front of me. He took it as a sign to continue, "Jedi... A Jedi has _no_ family, _no_ childhood, _no_ emotion. _They_ are dead to the Force- and to themselves."

"You're wrong." I hissed. 'Alanah... she is not dead to the universe around her. She sees and feels things... no other can.' I thought to myself. 'I was dead to all that was around me... until... until Alanah showed me the Force again and made me really see the universe.'

"_They_ want drones," he continued, "slaves to the Jedi Council. At least _we_ live, _we_ feel the universe around _us_. _We_ are the masters; not mere tools of the Force."

"It is you who want the slaves- not the Jedi. It is you who live, only to seek death to the weak and power to control others. What you feel isn't the universe... it's the death you've caused in that universe." I said calmly, "You are the tools; maybe not to the Force, but to yourselves and your lust for power."

He growled angrily, "Can't you feel the power of this place, within the walls of this tomb? Just embrace it. Don't limit your potential."

I ignited my double bladed yellow lightsaber and stood in a defensive stance along with Mira and Mical, "_Nah_," I smirked, "I think I'll pass."

* * *

Alanah's POV

"Alanah?" I looked at Master Kavar and noticed the slight worry in his eyes, "Is something wrong?"

"I'm sorry, Master Kavar." I blushed, slightly embarrassed. "I just thought I felt something." I thought out loud. 'Something happened...' I turned my attention back on my old mentor, "Please continue what you were saying."

"I always sensed that you were special, Alanah. Even as I helped you train as a padawan." Master Kavar smiled warmly at me as he placed a gentle hand on my shoulder.

I smiled in return, gracious to hear such kind words. Gracious to hear these kind words from an old trusted mentor, "Thank you, Master Kavar." But, as much as I enjoyed this one moment of peace, there were important issues to deal with. I looked up at Master Kavar- my demeanor changing to seriousness.

He nodded silently- knowing what my expression meant, "I will meet with the remaining Masters in Dantooine. And everything-"

"Everything will be decided there." I finished.

He nodded, "I will meet you back on Dantooine, Alanah. Now, if you will excuse me." He turned to leave, but paused and turned back, "May the Force be with you." And with that, he left the grand halls of the throne room.

"May the Force be with you as well..." I turned my attention back to my two companions- Kreia and Bao-Dur.

* * *

The shuttle ride back to Dxun was silent- Kreia was especially silent. I had thought that after my meeting with Kavar, she would want to discuss something- she always did after my meetings with each Master. Instead, she chose to sit in the back of the shuttle where she could meditate in peace. I had made small chit chat Bao-Dur about the recent events taking place, but after a few minutes- the shuttle was dead silent with only the beeping of the controls and the roar of the engines. I stared out the windows at the Dxun moon coming into view.

My thoughts found themselves thinking of the small group of my crew that dealt with Sith in the hidden Sith Temple on the moon's jungle surface- Mira, Mical, and Atton. I had felt a small disturbance during my altercations on Iziz. Small as it was, I couldn't help but feel worried about it. The disturbance faded quickly as it appeared, but it still lingered in my thoughts.

* * *

"Hey, the gang's all back together!" Atton grinned as we approached him, "You must tell me all about your vacation on Onderon." Bao-Dur had already headed inside, along with his remote. He grinned crookedly at me, "So how was the situation on Iziz"

"The political issues on Iziz have been resolved- for now at least. Iziz has only one leader now." Kreia informed briefly. Kreia turned to me, "I suggest we make haste to Dantooine. Staying here any longer should prove to be at our disadvantage."

"Aw... and I was just getting used to the humid jungle air." Atton remarked sarcastically as he feigned disappointment. Kreia frowned at him and headed for the Ebon Hawk. Atton rolled his eyes and turned his attention back at me, "Are you ok?" he asked, finally noticing my silence.

"I'm fine," I lied, "I'm just a little tired from today." In truth, I wasn't tired at all- not physically at least. I was mentally tired.

"I'm not surprised." He replied as we walked slowly towards the Ebon Hawk.

"So how did everything go in that Sith Temple?" I asked.

"Well..." he began as he ran his gloved hand through the wet tresses of his shaggy wet hair, "You know... there were bunch of sith and..."

He began telling me of his little adventure, but I wasn't really listening. I just stared at him from the corner of my eye. 'He seems so relaxed? Almost serene... and Atton and the word 'serene' don't usually mix.' We finally reached the main hold of the ship and were greeted with...

"FINALLY!" yelled an impatient Mira, who looked quite amusing with her hair wrapped in a towel. "Jeeze, could you two take any longer getting here." she complained. She pointed directly at Atton, "You, lover boy, I want to get off this fracking moon. NOW."

* * *

Atton's POV

I yawned tiredly as I twirled a pazaak card in my hand out of boredom. I glanced over at controls, which were switched to auto-pilot- saving me from having to actually pilot this rust bucket.

"Hey, Pazaak Head." the voice of Alanah greeted from behind me.

I jumped slightly and spun around. "Force! How in the hell are you able to sneak up on me so easily?" I mentioned out loud. I rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly and cleared my throat, "I mean, uh, hey..." Smooth, Rand... real smooth...

She smiled softly, "Thought you could use a small break." she said while offered me a cup of caffa.

I looked at the cup and glanced back up at her, "Uh... thanks." I took the cup from her took a small sip.

My eyes followed Alanah as she took a seat in the co-pilot's seat. "So, how long until we reach Dantooine?" she asked, stirring the caffa with a straw absentmindedly.

I took another small sip of the caffa and placed the cup on the floor, "Shouldn't be too long with the speed we're going. Three days at the most." I guessed. I looked over at her a noticed she was looking at me weirdly, "What?"

She was resting her head on the palms of her hands, while her elbows rested the armrest of the seat. She kept looking at me with her right eyebrow raised slightly, "Remember that day we crashed on the surface of Telos?"

"What?" I asked, confused. Where is she going with this?

"It was after we met Bao-Dur. We were waiting while he was disarming the mines around a hidden cache and you kept glancing at me from the corner of your eyes. It was _really_ annoying." she chuckled lightly.

'Well, I wouldn't be looking at you in the corner of my eyes every time, if you weren't so damn hot... not that I'm complaining.' I thought to myself mentally, my face growing a little warm. I shifted in my seat uncomfortably.

"Well, I caught you glancing at me, so I turned to you and asked you why you kept looking at me all the time." she paused for a second, lowered her head down, closed her eyes, placed her right hand almost over her mouth, and starting laughing. It was the same damn laugh I loved hearing so much. (_Chapter two people! Remember?_) "You looked so flustered- _like a kid getting caught stealing from the cookie jar. _And you tried to play if off smoothly." she continued to laugh.

I shifted in my seat again, "I'm glad you find me so amusing." I remarked sarcastically, trying really hard to control my embarrassment. "I didn't realize I was so _corny_."

Her laughs decreased to light giggles and she stared over to me with a slight sparkle in her eye, "Then, you commented on my aura- or something like that. You said you could see a 'glow' radiating from me and it was _calming_ or _inspiring_."

I pulled at the collar of my inner robes. Was it getting hot in here or was it just me? I looked over at her, unamused, "Is there a point to this? Or is this journey down memory lane some twisted plot to tease me?"

She pouted, "You're no fun. Fine, I'll get to the point." She smiled sweetly at me, "You have this calmness around you- almost like a glow. It's weird. Did something happen to you on Dxun?" she asked curiously.

"A glow, eh?" I leaned back into my seat and looked over at her. She was resting her head on the palms of her hands, while her elbows rested the armrest of the seat again as she waited patiently for my answer. "I guess, I just had to prove something to myself. And, I never had the chance to put it to the test until then."

She continued to stare at me, "Well? What did you learn?"

I winked playfully at her, "Nothing I didn't already know."

She blinked and opened her mouth to say something, but I cut her off.

"Oh, I almost forgot." I stood up from my seat and took out a short single bladed light saber. "I found it at that Sith Temple. Thought I'd give it to you." I tossed her the light saber and she caught it with ease.

She looked at the short light saber, examining it. "And how exactly did you claim such a prize?" she asked curiously as she ignited the light saber.

I watched her as she admired the amber like glow radiating from it, "Well... I kinda found it in a... a tomb." I answered sheepishly.

She switch off the light saber and raised an eyebrow at me, "A tomb? Whose tomb was it, Atton?" I laughed nervously at her, "Answer me, Pazaak Head."

"Some old, dead, dark Jedi... Freedon Nadd- I think."

She glanced over at the weapon in her hands and back up at me, "You actually looted Freedon Nadd's tomb?" she looked back down at the light saber and smirked, "No tomb will be spared from Atton Rand, the grave robber." she joked as she attached the light saber to her belt, along side her silver single bladed light saber.

"Hey! See, now, I'm not gonna show you the other stuff I '_looted_'." I teased as I started rummaging through the pockets of my robes.

She stood up from her seat, abandoning her caffa, and walked over to me, "What other stuff?"

I hid the objects in my hands and raised them over my head, knowing very well she was _too_ short to reach them, "I was gonna give them to you, but you started teasing me, so... you lost you chance, Babe." She pouted up at me in response. Force! She's so damn cute! I sighed, defeated, "Like I can say no to a pretty face." I brung my hands down and showed her two light saber crystals.

Her eyes widened in shock, "Atton! Do you have any idea how rare these crystals are!"

"Huh?"

Alanah pointed at the small blue sapphire, "This is the Ankarres Sapphire! And this," she pointed at the ruby like crystal, "This is the Kaiburr Crystal!" She looked up at with wide eyes, "How in the Force were you able to obtain such rare crystals!"

I smirked down at her, "Scoundrel's luck."

She grabbed my wrist and started pulling me out of the cockpit, "Come with me!"

Like I was gonna deny her.

* * *

Alanah's POV

I dragged Atton out of the cockpit and headed towards the garage. The garage should be empty since, Bao-Dur had long since retired to the starboard dormitory for some rest. And, when we entered, HK was nowhere in sight. _Good_.

I dragged Atton to the workbench, "Give me the Kaiburr crystal." I ordered. He obeyed. I took out my light saber and replace the Opila crystal with the Kaiburr. After assembling it, I ignited my silver light saber and admired the new energy within it. I switch it off and looked over a Atton. "Now give me your light saber." I demanded. He gave his double bladed light saber to me without a word. "Now give me the Ankarres Sapphire." He obeyed without a complaint. I reached into a pocket of my robe and took out another crystal. I worked on his light saber for a few minutes, replacing two crystals. Atton watched silently as I reassembled with his light saber. After a few more minutes, I was finished. I gave him back his light saber and smiled, "Switch it on."

He shrugged and ignited his light saber. "What the?" Instead of the usual yellow glow, it was replaced with the silvery green glow of viridian. He smirked at me and I could see an amused glint from his dark hazel eyes.

I smiled softly, "Thought you and Visas were tired of having the same light saber colors."

* * *

**Author's Notes:** :_laughs sheepishly_: Sorry this took twice as along to update. To be very honest, I had the biggest writer's block imaginable. I started writing this chapter long ago, but it pretty much sucked in my opinion. So I decided to rewrite it. After days of no inspiration and no idea what I wanted out of this chapter- I was stuck. Then one day... two days ago to be exact... I was replaying Kotor II for the third time and I had just finished going through Freedon Nadd's temple in Dxun and... inspiration slapped me right across the face. Then I went straight to my computer and started writing. Once I started writing, more ideas kept flowing into my demented little head of mine and this rewrite was born. I had so much fun writing this chapter- I hope it shows. This probably is one of my favorite chapters now. Next chapter will be the meeting between the masters on Dantooine. Heh, and I'm planning on making Kreia very evil... especially to our favorite pazaak playing scoundrel. Sadly, the update will probably take long as well. I'm going back to school in exactly a week so.. yeah. Yup, this is my last week of freedom and I'm choosing to spend it wisely... which means I'm going on a shopping spree. :_laughs_: Thank you to all my reviewers and readers. See you all next chapter!

* * *

**Reviewer Responses:**

LuvsDelkoSpeed- Heh, I loved that line as well! You know Atton would so say that to Mical if he had a chance. Lol Thanks for reviewing.

Ewanlover64- :_lol_: Very true! I wish I could find a good Di&Exile fic. Hmm... maybe I'll write one after I'm done with 'Emotions'. _Maybe_. Thanks for reviewing!

iggy1297- Sorry Visas didn't make an appearance in this chapter. I couldn't find a way to fit her in anywhere. Thanks for your input and review, though!

Kuramas Girl Angel- I couldn't think of anything interesting for Atton to do or say if he were to go on Iziz with Kreia and Alanah. So I made him the leader of the Dxun exploration. 'Cause I love Atton and treat him better than anyone else on the crew. :_lol_: But seriously, thanks for your input and review.

Secret Whisper 92- Sorry for the VERY long wait. I'm glad you liked the rave scene and thanks for reviewing.

Onasi26- Don't worry, I'll continue to update Emotions as much as I can. Thanks for reviewing!

Melanie K. Schultz- :_laughs_: 'Frack' is pretty much Star Wars version of the 'F-bomb'. It's weird. I can easily type up the S-bomb(**shit**aki) or ass, but I just can't type out the 'F-bomb'. Oh well. Thanks for reviewing.

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**Thanks to all my reviewers and readers for their patience! I'm truly very sorry that the updates are getting longer and longer. Thanks for reading and stay tuned for Chapter 13! We're up to chapter 13, peoples! Can you believe it!**


	13. Betrayal and an Unspoken Confession

**Emotions**

**Chapter 13:** Betrayal and an Unspoken Confession

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own anything that is related to Star Wars: Knights of the old Republic II and never will.

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**(Flashback)**- Atton's POV

"_I'm going alone." Alanah answered, keeping her facial expressions unreadable._

_The crew looked at her, all waiting for her explanation. I stood in the back, leaning against a wall near the entrance to the hallway that lead to security room and the cockpit. I frowned as I waited for her to continue._

"_There is a private issue I need addressed. They will only address it if I meet with them alone." She gazed around the room one final time before walking off to the loading ramp, "Please wait for me here, I will return as soon_ _as the meeting is over with."_

_In the corner of my eyes, I watch Kreia silently watch Alanah as she disappeared_. _Her frown deepened as she went back to the port dormitory._

_I glanced back to where Alanah left to meet with the Jedi Masters and walked back to the cockpit, thinking, 'I have a bad feeling about this...'_

It had been no later than 10 minutes after Alanah left to meet with the council alone. I amused myself with a mental game of pazaak while I waited for her return. I was able to shake off that bad feeling, but it still lingered in the back of my head. I stared down at my +2/-2 card and frowned, "Something isn't right..." I gathered my cards and placed them back into my deck and back into my robes. 'It's too damn quiet in here... I can't even hear the little trash can rolling around all over the ship or Mira complaining to herself.' I thought to myself as I stood up from my seat.

"Indeed, the silence is quite unnerving, isn't it?" Kreia mocked as she appeared out of no where.

My eyes narrowed, "What did you do to the rest of the crew?" I accused.

She smirked, "I see you aren't as foolish as I presumed earlier." her smirk disappeared and was replaced with deep frown, "They are unconscious and locked up- the bounty hunter, the disciple, the Miraluka, and the alien, Mandalore is locked in the cargo hold, and the droids have been temporarily disabled. And now... that leaves only you, 'Atton'.

"Goodie, I guess you saved the best for last." I replied sarcastically. I glared at the ugly wrinkled schutta while I reached inside my robes for my light saber.

"Are you attempting to fight me? If so, you know you can not win. It will be a foolish attempt." She sneered.

"Yeah, well, I've been meaning to pay you back for everything anyways. Either way, I'm not going to let you near Alanah." I swore protectively.

"Is that so?" she spat, incredulously.

The next thing I knew, two white figures appeared around me and I felt a great surge of pain flow through my body as the two figures jabbed bothan stunners at my sides. I collapsed on the floor, twitching in pain. "You are a fool, Atton. You are a fool that has nothing to offer the Exile... not even your protection." she mocked as she kneeled beside me.

"You... bitch." I growled angrily as I glared hatefully up at her.

She smirked evilly, "This is the end of everything, fool."

I screamed in agonizing pain as Kreia used Force Storm on me and I soon fell unconscious.

* * *

Alanah's POV

"_And that is what I sought to figure out. How one can cut ones self from the Force and live."_

"_But, now, I understand..."_

"_You were... afraid..."_

My eyes snapped open and I sat immediately up. I looked around frantically and slightly confused. My eyes fell upon three bodies a few feet from myself, "No!"

I struggled to my feet and ran over- almost tripping over due to dizziness- to the body of one of the Masters- Master Kavar, and knelt beside him. His body was limp on the ground- no trace of life left in him. No- it worse than that. His body, as well as the others, felt empty not only with life, but the Force as well.

I felt the sting of tears, unable to control themselves, begin to form in my eyes and blurring my vision. "This wasn't suppose to happen." I murmured helplessly, letting one tear fall freely. I felt my hands tighten up in a fist. I raised my right fist and slammed it on the ground, frustratingly. "What am I supposed to do now!" I yelled angrily up at the sky, as if I were screaming up to the heavens for an answer, a sign, anything! There were none...

I bit my lower lip as I gazed sadly up the clear blue skies of Dantooine. More tears fell freely from the corner of my eyes. "What am I going to do now? How can a wound save the galaxy?" I whispered hopelessly. For the first time, I was able to feel the emptiness inside of me- the wound. I wonder how it has gone unnoticed all this time by myself. Maybe I always knew it was there... I just never acknowledged it until now...

My eyes grew wide as I remember about my companions who still remained back in the Ebon Hawk. I staggered to my feet and ran back to their direction, not without leaving one final glance to the bodies that lay empty without the Force and life.

* * *

I ran up the loading ramp of the Hawk and looked around. The garage, the starboard dormitory, the cargo hold, the med lab, and the storage hold were all seal up tightly. I ran towards the cockpit, seeing it was the only room left open, from afar. Once I reached the entrance I gasped in horror, "Atton?"

I rushed to his side and knelt beside him, "Atton! Wake up, please!" I begged his unconscious form. I laid his head on my lap and gently caressed the side of his face, "Atton..." I whispered softly. I concentrated on the Force, using it to heal him and hopefully bring him out of his unconscious state.

His eyes began to flutter open and he looked around in a daze. He stared up at me, but then his eyes grew wide and he sat up. He spun around to face me, "Kreia, she-"

"I know, Atton." I interrupted him, staring at him sadly.

He closed his eyes and sighed, "The handmaidens from the Telos Academy, they were with her." He paused and looked at me. "You know where she's going, right?"

I nodded, "If she goes there, Atris- she will execute her. And, if that happens successfully, with the bond Kreia and I share- I will die along with her."

"I'm not going to let that happen!" He said sternly, placing his hands on my shoulders. He stared straight into my eyes, "I'm not going to let her harm you. I'll die before I let that happen."

I stared at him, shocked, "Please don't say that." I whispered softly, "It hurts too much to hear you say those words." I leaned forward and rested my forehead on his chest.

He tensed up at first, but soon wrapped his arms around me. We stayed like that for a few more seconds. For a brief moment, I felt safe... so safe. I found comfort in his arms, listening to his heart beat. He pulled away from me and said, "I'm going to set course for Telos. We have to get there before Kreia tries to do anything."

I nodded in agreement, "I will check on the others." I reluctantly pulled away from him and stood up to release the sealed doors and check on my other companions.

After I check on the rest of the crew members, I walked to the port dormitory and stared at the spot where Kreia used to meditate, 'She betrayed me...' I gave out a heavy sigh and balled up my hands in a tight first.

* * *

"Is something troubling you?"

I jumped slightly and looked back over my shoulder, "Oh, it's you Mical."

He gazed worriedly at me, "I'm sorry if I'm interrupting, but I sensed you were in... distress."

I glanced at him, but kept my back facing him, "I don't doubt that." I replied, doubtlessly.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked, slightly confused.

I finally turned around and faced him, staring at him intently, "Do you ever wonder why you follow me? Kill who I kill- help who I help?"

He grew silent and finally answered, "Never; I believe in what we are going. I especially believe in you, because you are a leader."

I stared down at the floor, "But, how do you know this simply isn't just the work of the Force?" I questioned him.

He shrugged, "I simply do." he paused for a second, "Is this about the Jedi Council? What did they tell you.?"

I glanced over to him briefly, "They said, that I'm a wound in the Force. That with my influence, I will lead others and all life to their deaths. And no matter what, I can never be healed."

There was a brief moment of silence before Mical replied, "Then... then they simply don't understand you, not like I do."

"What do you mean?" I asked, slightly confused.

I noticed light pink hue forming in his cheeks, "When I see you, I see hope for the galaxy- the hope for all life. When I look at you, I see a true leader that will save the galaxy. That is the thing with some Jedi, some are blinded and can not see that is truly in front of them." He walked over to me and placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder, "Alanah, I know you want to go through this alone, but I ask that you do not. Please, do not forsake life as you did an exile, instead, use it as your strength. We will always be here for you... because we will all believe in you."

I felt him remove his hand and heard the sound of his footsteps grow faint as he disappeared into the depths of the Ebon Hawk. 'They believe in me... but why don't I believe in myself?'

* * *

Atton's POV

I stood outside the entrance of the port dormitory, staring at the sealed entrance. She's been in there for about five standard hours now, refusing to talk to anyone else after Mical spoke to her and refusing to eat or drink anything. I stared down at the tray of food I held firmly in my hands. 'I can understand if she wants some alone time, but I sure as hell don't want her to starve herself to death.' I thought to myself, knocking on the metal door.

Nothing.

I bent down, set the food aside, and looked at the lock. There has never been a security lock I couldn't unlock, so before you could say, 'Pure pazaak', the doors to the port dormitory flew open. I grabbed the tray of food and walked casually inside. I walked straight to the first bunk, the bunk she used.

"Sorry in interrupt your 'me' time, but I thought-" I stopped mid-sentence, shocked at the current state of our leader, "Babe?"

She was leaning against the farthest corner of the bunk, she sat like a tightly formed ball and buried her face in her knees. She was no longer wearing her outer Jedi Robes, the brownish tunic, or her boots. Instead, she simply wore her black turtle neck sleeveless top and her tan leggings/pants. Her hair was hung loose and the gold ribbon she usually wore to wrap her hair up was tied around her thin left wrist. Alanah lifted her head up and stared tiredly at me with puffy red eyes, though no tear stains were evident on her face.

I set the tray near the opposite side of the bed and sat myself down the edge of the bed, near Alanah. We sat there in silence, until Alanah finally spoke up, "You didn't have to bring me food, I'm not hungry." Right on cue, there was a soft rumble from her stomach.

I smirked at her, "Sure doesn't sound like it." I turned around and picked up a plate and some eating utensils and held it to her face.

She looked warily at it and sighed as she grabbed the plate from me. She glanced over at the tray and asked, "Why is there another plate of food, you know I don't eat that much."

"Oh that, well, I didn't have dinner yet, so I thought I'd eat here with you." I answered, grabbing the plate and the other set of utensils. I looked over at her, "You don't mind, do you?"

She glance up from her plate and simply answered, "No, I guess not."

We ate in silence...well, actually she ate in silence. The only kind of response I could get out of her was either a nod or a 'uh huh'.

"Here, I'll take our plates back." I said as I reached for her empty plate that she placed beside her after she was finished eating.

"I'm sorry."

I looked back at her, questionably. "What?"

"I'm sorry," she apologized once again, "I'm sorry that I'm losing faith even in myself... I'm sorry for being this pathetic... I'm sorry for dragging you into my own problems... and I'm sorry I can't be stronger for you..." she turned her head away from me, closed her eyes tightly in hopes to stop the flood of her own tears that were already flowing down her cheeks, and bit her lower lip as she gave out a tiny sob.

Ignoring the empty plates, I reached over to her and wiped away the steady stream of her tears. "You're not giving up already? Are you?" She looked back at me with sad puffy eyes. "Because the Alanah I know, isn't the type of person to give up just because of a minor set back."

"Minor set back!" she choked, "Atton! The Jedi Masters have been killed, Kreia has betrayed us, the Sith are still on the loose, and I have no idea how to fix this _minor_ set back."

"So? Did you know what exactly you were going to do after getting off Peragus?" I asked.

She looked down, "No..."

I cupped her cheek, so she was looking at me and not her lap, "How about after meeting with Atris?"

"No, but Atton, this is different. This time-"

"This time that old cryptic schutta isn't here to constantly hover over your shoulder ." I tucked a piece of stray hair behind her ear, "I've been around you long enough to know that you can get right back up from whatever set back you encounter. This set back isn't any different from the rest. Well, maybe a little, but... dammit, you get what I'm trying to say."

She grew silent again. Staring down at her lap. "Why are you here?" she asked suddenly. I looked over at her, unsure what she meant. She gazed at me with an expression I never saw her use before, "Why do you stick with me? Why do you follow me even against your own instincts or better judgement? Why?"

I sat back down on the edge of her bed and looked back at her intently, "Would you prefer if I had left after Telos or something?"

She turned her head to face me and replied, "I didn't mean I didn't want you here, it's just..." she paused of a second and frowned, "You didn't answer my question."

"Yeah, well, you didn't answer mine." I smirked at her.

"I asked first."

"I asked second."

"But, I asked _first_."

"But, I asked _second._"

"Atton..."

"Alanah..."

She sighed frustratingly, "Atton, I'm serious." she scolded. She sighed again and her green gray eyes gazed at me pleadingly, "I have to know. Why have you stuck with me all this time?"

"Why?" I thought out loud, 'Why did I choose to continue to follow this crazy Jedi everywhere she went?' While was in deep thought, she finally moved her little spot from the corner of her bunk and sat directly beside me. Waiting silently. I stare over at her from the corner of my eyes and continued to think. 'Why did I risk my own life just for her and for the sake of her 'mission'? Knowing me, I would have left a long time ago, but that was before. Now... now, I can't imagine being without her... I want to help her... I want to help protect her...I... "I just want to be with you." My eyes grew after realizing what I had just slipped out, 'Shit...'

"I mean- uh..." _Smooth Rand... real smooth... _'Why don't you eat a poison dart already!' I argued with my subconscious. _Why should I since it's so much fun witnessing you make an fool of yourself? _'Even my subconscious thinks I'm a fool?' _A fool who is still talking to himself._

"Atton." Alanah whispered almost inaudibly.

I almost didn't hear her, but I did anyways. I turned over to her, kinda ashamed to even meet her gaze. To my surprise, a pair of soft lips cover my own. I was caught completely off guard, but I soon found myself kissing her back with as much tenderness as she was showing me. My hands found themselves wrapped around her slim waist as her hands roamed from my chest until one arm was around my shoulders and one hand gently caressed the side of my face.

The kiss was tender and soft- neither one of us wanted to ruin this moment- our moment, by doing something inappropriate. Alanah gently broke the kiss and smiled softly. "Thank you..." she whispered sweetly. She laid her head on my chest and said, "Thank you, for staying with me."

I held her tighter as I rested my chin on top of her head, "I'm not going anywhere." I promised her. I _was_ a deserter... _was_... but not anymore...

We stayed like that for the rest of the day- in each others' arms. She fell asleep, but I still continued to hold her gently. I fell asleep a few minutes after she did, while listening to the soft patterns of her breathing as she slept.

No other words where said- there wasn't a need for them. It was clear what we wanted to say to each other. Though, they were never said out loud, I think we both knew what they were.

_I love you.

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_

**Author's Notes: **School is a bitch :_cough_: Anyways, so that's chapter 13. With lots of fluff... and sap... and romance. To be very honest, I wasn't considering on having Atton and Alanah finally geting together in this chapter, but... I felt it just fitted in here. Plus, think of this as a way of saying sorry for the long update... and probably another one. Stay tuned for the next chapter, sadly, I have no idea what I want it to be about. But, Carth will be there... I think... maybe... ermm... anyhow... Oh yes, I almost forget. I _am_ thinking about doing a sequal to Emotions. Yup yup. I've written about two pages of notebook paper(front and back) full tons of ideas, concepts, and what not about the sequel. And I'm still adding to it! I've created some new characters, enemies, romances, and a bunch of whole new problems for the KotOR I&II cast to deal with. If you seen my fanart thread(BitterSweet) at the KotOR Fanmedia forums, then you probably saw a sketch of that mysterious guy that will be featured in the sequel. The sequel is still pending though. That means, I'm still just thinking about it. There are some issues that I'll have to figure out, especially if I want to write this sequel out. For example, I'm having problems with the title, kinks with the main plot line, and some other stuff. But, I am definitely thinking of a sequel. Yup...

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**Reviewer Responses:**

Ewanlover64- I'm glad you liked this chapter. I'm actually thinking of Di&Exile story concepts. If I decide to write one, it'll probably after I finish this story. Thanks for your review!

LuvsDelkoSpeed- :_lol_: I'll consider that. Thanks for reveiwing!

Trillian4210- I know... I won't do that again. It was actually not suppose to stay there, but I forgot to delete that part in the final editing. I'm glad Mira sounded IC. Though she had very few lines (at least five lines if I remember correctly), I wanted her to stay in character. :_lol_: She was mainly just there for comic relief. Thanks for reviewing!

Kuramas Girl Angel- I know what you mean! I have no idea what to do in Malachore either. Malachor is such a boring place to write about. -- I'm thinking of just skipping Malachor and go straight to the Kreia battle... :_shrugs_: Best of luck for your writer's block and thanks for reviewing!

A Pleasant Reader- I'm so happy to hear(or read) that! Best part of writing Kotor fanfiction is that you can add stuff that was lacking in the game. Kotor II really disappointed me in the romance department. ESPECIALLY, if you play as a female Jedi who takes a liking to Atton. We get a few stuffs here and there, but after finding out his little secret, that's it... The most romantic line he says in the whole game is the 'pazaak in my head' line. Not only that, but they cut Atton's confession of his love for your character out of the game! Sorry for the rant. lol Anyways...

The Exile's name is pronounced: Alanah (uh- lah- nuh) Halo (hey- low) like the game.

That's how I like to pronounce it anyways. Thanks for your review! I hope you continue to read my story and enjoy it.


	14. Hesitation Before Malachor

**Emotions**

**Chapter 14:** Hesitation Before Malachor

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything that is related to Star Wars: Knights of the old Republic II. Kotor II respectively belongs to it's creators: Lucas Arts, Bio-ware, and Obsidian.

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Alanah's POV

"Everyone brace yourselves!" Mandalore ordered from the cockpit of the ship. He shouted several more profanities at the Mandalorian pilot, demanding a smoother departure from the dying ship.

I braced myself; holding onto the armrest of the seats as I heard a mixture of Mandalore's orders, the roar of the engines, and loud explosions from the Ravager. I looked over from the corner of my eye at Visas, who had been doing the same thing as I.. The sound of the explosions grew louder, causing our mandalorian vessel to shake violently.

"Dammit! Get yourselves together and pilot this ship!" Mandalore scolded. The Mandalorian pilots replied with a quick, 'Yes, Mandalore.'

The explosions grew by frequency and volume, increasing the turbulence of the ship. Roars from the hyper drive hummed louder- indicating their start and our entrance to warp speed. I leaned back into my seat, closed my eyes, and listened to explosions of the Ravager growing faint as it slowly began to die. The intense dark energy that seemed to flow freely from its vessel, dispersed until it was nothing more than a weak distant echo of what it once was. And then, there was nothing.

A soft sigh of relief and exhaustion escaped my lips. My body ached painfully and I had only noticed until now. With everything that had happened- the confrontation with Atris, the attack on Citadel Station, and the battles upon the Ravager- I had little time to rest or even replenish The Force within myself. Around me, there was a mixture of proud, but unruly Mandalorian soldiers singing their praises; congratulating themselves for the recent victory over Darth Nihilus and his Sith fleet as Mandalore still continued giving out his orders and a few Mandalorian profanities, and the sound of the engines still rumbled the ship.

Yet, strangely, I felt almost at peace. It was comforting- this feeling. Like the calm before the storm, I suppose. Or is this more like the calm while in the middle of the storm? Like the few minutes of silence while enduring the eye of a tornado before it passes over and all hell breaks loose once again? What ever this was, I embraced it- for I already knew our next destination... and who would be waiting for me there...

* * *

Visas, Mandalore, and I had barely gotten off the turbolift when we were greeted by a familiar stern face, "It's good to see you didn't get yourself killed out there, Miss. Halo." Lt. Dol Grenn greeted. His face impassive as always.

"How is the current situation here on Citadel Station, Lt. Grenn." I asked, stepping out of the turbolift and glancing at a few soldiers that still lingered around, most likely on patrol.

"Citadel Station is currently in stable condition. Seems like we were able to find a last minute fuel source. A 'Vogga' sends his regards." he answered as he walked along beside me. I felt the corner of my mouth almost twitch in brief amusement. "Ma'am, I have word from Admiral Carth Onasi." He paused, "He would like to meet with you.

I stopped and turned to face the Lieutenant, "Did he state his business?"

The Lieutenant frowned slightly, "Vaguely. It seems he would like to discuss with you about a past mutual acquaintance, apparently."

'Past acquaintance?' I thought, bewildered. I sighed. Malachor will have to wait for now. I looked back at my companions, who had remained quiet throughout the conversation, "Please gather the rest of the crew and wait upon my arrival back at the Hawk. We will leave shortly after I come back." I ordered.

Both simply nodded and disappeared back into the turbolift that would lead them into the Entertainment area where the rest crew would most likely be in. I turned back to the Lieutenant, "Lead the way."

He lead me to a room in an empty apartment complex. The door was sealed with two Republic soldier standing guard in front of it. "Move aside, the Jedi that the Admiral wanted to meet has arrived." Grenn ordered. The soldiers nodded and moved aside as the doors lifted open.

I gave Grenn my thanks and walked inside the room alone. There in front the window, stood a man with red armor. I awkwardly walked closer to him until I stood a few feet to his right, "You wanted to speak with me Admiral?"

He stood still, his hands behind his back as he gazed outside, "Yes I did. But first off, I must thank you for your help." He gaze at the healing planet of Telos, "I wasn't able to save it the first time. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have been able to save it a second time. You truly have my gratitude." He turned around to face me and extended his hand, "It's an honor to meet you, Exile. I'm Admiral Carth Onasi."

'Onasi? Somehow that name seems familiar to me.' I thought to myself. I smiled softly and shook his hand in return, "It is an honor as well, Admiral. My name is Alanah. Alanah Halo."

He smiled in return, "I've been hearing a lot of reports about you, Miss Halo. You stabilized the political issues of both Dantooine and Onderon, helped the refugees of Narr Shaddaa, assisted with the Telos Restoration project, and, of course, saved this Station." He chuckled lightly, "For someone with an army of Sith after them, you really don't know how to keep a low profile."

* * *

Atton's POV

I gulped down a shot of Juma Juice and gave out a long heavy sigh. "Seems like forever since I had one of these." I chuckled lightly.

Mira rolled her eyes, "Savor it while is last. I have a feeling we're in for something big once Alanah gets back."

"Well, aren't you just a little ray of sunshine." I commented, while signaling the bartender for another drink. "What makes you say '_we're in for something big once Alanah comes back_', anyways?"

She stirred her drink solemnly, "Just a feeling, I guess." she answered before taking a sip from her drink. "Maybe I'm finally getting a hold of this Jedi stuff" she shrugged.

I chuckled lightly in response. The bartender droid finally delivered my drink and left to serve another customer. I was about to take another shot, but was interrupted.

"I don't think the General would approve of her only pilot drinking right now." Bao-Dur joked as he took a seat beside me.

"C'mon, two little drinks aren't going to hurt." I said, taking a tiny sip of my drink. "I think we deserve a little break before hell knows where we're going or doing next." The Zabrak smirked and signaled the bartender for a drink. I grinned and patted Bao-Dur on his shoulder. "See," I said over to Mira, "Least he knows when to lighten up."

Mira shot me a dirty look and rolled her eyes. She soon sat her drink down on the counter and looked over at the cantina entrance, "Happy Hours over boys." she commented as she pointed towards the entrance. Bao-Dur and I followed where she pointed and finally noticed Visas, Mandalore, and Mical walking over to us.

I frowned, noticing that Alanah was not with them. As soon as they approached us, I stood up and asked, "Where's Alanah?"

Mandalore scoffed sarcastically, "Well, well, isn't that just a pleasant 'Hello, glad you weren't killed.' greeting."

"She was asked to meet with the Admiral." Visas answered, "But, she wanted to inform everyone to wait for her back at the ship and ready for an immediate departure once she returns."

"Immediate departure?" Mira raised an eyebrow, "Just where are we going next?" She asked curiously.

"I'm curious as well." Bao-Dur stated after taking a sip of his drink.

There was a brief silence before Mical choose to answer, "Apparently, Alanah didn't say... but..." He paused and thought for a moment.

I crossed my arms impatiently, "But...?"

"Something tells me Alanah will go after Kreia next." Mical replied, looking distracted.

"That doesn't tell us where we're going next, Mical." Mira scoffed, as she tapped on the counter impatiently.

"It means she'll go where it all started..." Bao-Dur answered.

It took me a few seconds before realizing what exactly he meant. "You mean...? There?"

Bao-Dur's gaze was focused on his empty glass, but he nodded silently. "Malachor..."

* * *

Alanah's POV

"She said there were places where I could not go- places where she could not bring those she loved." Admiral Carth Onasi said as he gazed out the window. His voice trying to hide his sadness, but failing. "I've been waiting for her to come back for almost four years now.. It doesn't get any easier..."

"Four years is a long time," I commented, "but how do you know that she's even still alive at this point. There maybe a chance that she-"

"No!" He snapped. He turned his head halfway and stared warily at me. "I know she's not dead. I can still feel her- sense her!" He shut his eyes tightly, turned back around, and sighed.

I felt a ping of guilt hit me from inside, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, Admiral." I apologized.

"No, no need to apologize, Miss. Halo." he smiled sadly, "It's just... I feel like I would know." He paused for a brief second, "There's just this... this emptiness where she used to be. I would have done anything she asked. And when she told me to stay here, to try to keep the Republic strong, that was the hardest thing of all." he swallowed, uncomfortably rubbing the back of his neck.

"Did she ever explain why? Why did she tell you this?" I looked over at him.

He shook his head, "I don't know. I just know this was very important to her. I remember her telling me once, that she thought something else was behind the Mandalorian Wars. That it hadn't been the Mandalorians' true intentions to attack against the Republic."

'Something was behind the Mandalorian wars?' I repeated in my head as I stared down at the floor, 'How could she have been so sure?' I looked back at the Admiral, "Did she ever say what it was?" I asked.

"No she didn't, but whatever it was, I think she went off to find it- to put an end to it before it decided to try anything else." He answered.

I thought hard on this. What would make Revan go off- leaving everything behind- to the outer rims. Could this have been a possible new threat? But, if she were to go off and fight whatever this threat was, why would she foolishly go off by herself? I looked over to the Admiral and saw him gazing out the window once again. "Admiral Onasi?" I called out to him. He turned around and I asked him, "If you don't mind me asking, how did you come to know Revan." I had this strong impression that he and Revan had been close, which seemed strange to me. The Revan I had known, would have never formed such a close attachment. She was always the one telling me that an emotion such as love would only prove as a weakness to which there was nothing that could be gained from. Or to put it simply, a waste.

He seemed surprised that I asked this, but he answered anyways. "We met near the end of the Jedi Civil War. We were both in the Republic warship, The Endar Spire, as it was attacked and raided by the Sith. I was a soldier and she was a smuggler that had been recently hired by the Republic for her '_expertise_'..." I listened to him tell his story of how he and Revan had met, the crew they had gathered, their journey in search for these Sith artifacts called '_Star Maps_', how Revan had learned of her true identity, her final decision, and the final events that lead to the destruction of the Star Forge and an end to Malak. "...We saved the Republic. But it was like the war didn't end for her. It was at is she was at war with herself. She would keep remembering things that she had done, and it kept driving her. She couldn't let go of her past and she kept using it as a wall between us and pushing me away. And I think she finally remembered something terrible she had done during the Mandalorian Wars. And she went to put an end to it.

She left without warning. She didn't say where, only that it was to a place where she could not take anyone she loved." He stared at me hard, "And here you return, with her ship, without her."

"Her ship? Do you mean the Ebon Hawk?" I asked in slight disbelief.

He nodded, "Yes, that's right. We all traveled around the galaxy on the Ebon Hawk during the war. And when Revan left, she took the Ebon Hawk with her. Wherever she went to, your ships been there.

"I see..." I said with my voice trailing off. "I tried finding out the origins of the ship, like the planets it had traveled to, but the information is voice locked."

"I don't think it would matter anyways." He said disheartened. "I suspect that even if you return to those places, Revan would have been long gone." He shook his head and chuckled lightly, "She was never one to stay too long in one place."

I smiled gently, 'I know what you mean.'

"But," he looked at me again and I saw the longing in his eyes, "If you happen to return to those places... and somehow find any traces of her or even... or even if you encounter her..." He looked like he was struggling to find the right words.

'If I encounter Revan?' I raised an eyebrow, 'Why would he think that I would travel to the places Revan did, much less encounter her again.' In truth, I had no intention on meeting with Revan again. What I really wanted to do was to rebuild the Jedi Order. The one I had helped in the destruction of. I pushed those thoughts aside and opened my mouth, "Would you like me to contact you? Tell you what if I have found any clues to where she has gone? Or tell you where she is?"

He shook his head, "No, but, would you just tell her something for me?" He gazed back at the window behind him, "Tell her that, Carth Onasi is waiting for her."

* * *

Shortly after meeting with the Admirable, I arrived in front of the loading ramp the Ebon Hawk. I slowly walked up the ramp and enter the main hold. Inside, each one of my companions had waited for me. Each stood up and waited for my order. Even Atton, who would normally say something irrelevant and inappropriate at this point, stayed silent. I calmly walked over to the center computer in the middle of the room and stood in front of the monitor. I felt each of their eyes around me, simply waiting. I typed in a few keys until a map appeared in the holo-monitor. On that map was a lone planet. 

"This is where we're going to next." I said, finally lifting my eyes from the monitor. I gazed around the room to impassive faces. All of their gazes glued to the holo-monitor before them.

"How do you know Kreia's there?" Atton was the first to speak up.

"Malachor was the initial start of everything." I said, my voice dripping with seriousness. "The Mandalorian Wars ended here, but with the end of that war, a new one started. This is where Revan and Malak influenced many soldiers to join them to revolt against the Republic. And that is when the Jedi Civil War began forming." I paused and sighed, "Malachor is also the place where I had lost my affinity with the Force." I waited for any other responses before I continued- there were none. "Malachor now teems with the deaths of thousands- Jedi, Republic, and Mandalorian soldiers alike. There is no doubt in my mind that Kreia is there- gaining strength from the death that surrounds Malachor."

"So you will confront Kreia there?" Mical asked.

A final confrontation with Kreia? To fight a once trusted companion and a former mentor. She was all these things, but I could not forget she was also the galaxy's current biggest threat. If I did not face Kreia now, she will kill herself. And in doing so, she will kill me and create an even bigger wound upon the Force- endangering the lives of many. Especially those touched by the Force. I gazed at the faces of my crew once again. "Yes..." I replied, "I will face her there."

* * *

Atton's POV

After the meeting, I followed Alanah to the cockpit. She stood in front of a computer terminal and starting typing up the hyper space co-ordinates to Malachor. "I'm surprised that you still remember those co-ordinates. Hasn't it been at least 10 years?" I commented as I leaned back against the back of the pilot seat. She stopped for a moment and just stared at the computer terminal. I mentally punched myself, 'Way to Rand, bring up those horrifying memories for her again.' I stood up straight and walked over to her, "Babe-"

"Don't apologize," she whispered. She looked up at me and smiled, "I just hadn't realized its been this long... and I still happen to remember the co-ordinates to Malachor." She looked back at the screen and continued typing, "I guess there are some things you just can't forget."

I stood awkwardly beside her. It felt like a long time since we were alone together. 'Actually, this _is_ the first time we've been alone together since that day we...' I glanced at Alanah from the corner of my eyes. 'What are _we_ exactly? After what happened between us, it felt like nothing has changed.' I glanced at her again. 'No... something did change... in fracking fact, she's been avoiding me for the past few days!'

"Are you ok?"

I snapped out of my thought and looked at her, "Huh?"

She stared at me with concern, "Is something bothering you?" she asked.

"Ehh..." _Say something. Come on! Tell her, 'you bet your ass something is wrong.'._ I frowned, "No, just thinking about something unimportant." _Dude! What the frack?_

"Oh... ok..." she glanced at the computer screen, " Well, I've set up the co-ordinates. I'll leave you to the piloting." She turned to leave, but I grabbed her wrist, stopping her. She looked back at me, "Atton! What-"

Before she could say anything else, I pulled her towards me, wrapped one arm around her waist, placed one hand gently on her cheek, and kissed her passionately. She didn't respond at first, which worried me. But, I felt her press her petite body against mine and wrap her arms around my neck. Soon enough, she began responding to my kiss with as much fierce. "Atton..." she moaned softly. She began entangling her fingers into my hair and ran my hands from her waist to up her back and down again. The lack of oxygen was beginning to get hard to ignore and I had to fight every damned temptation to continue our kiss. I pulled away slowly and opened my eyes to look down at her. She gazed up at me. Her face flushed and dazed.

I leaned down and pressed my forehead against hers. "Alanah," I said breathlessly. _This is your chance... take it!_ "I- about-"

We both heard voices and footsteps that were getting louder. I growled in irritation, "Dammit." We silently pulled apart and waited for whoever to enter the cockpit. I scolded and crossed my arms in annoyance.

Bao-Dur walked inside, accompanied by his remote and T3-M4. "General, there is something I'd to discuss with you about. It's about Malachor."

Alanah nodded understandingly, "Of course, I know. Wait for me in the garage, ok. I'll be there in a moment."

He nodded and turned to leave with the remote and T3 following closely behind. There was an uncomfortable silence that lingered in the air. I sighed and walked over to the pilot's seat. "I'll take care of launch procedures." I said as I sat down. "With warp speed, we'll be able to reach Malachor in less than five days, at least."

She didn't respond. I almost thought she left to talk to Bao-Dur, while I had my back turned before se called out my name, "Atton..."

I looked back at her and smirked, "Don't worry about it."

Her face was still a bit red and I have to admit, she looked really cute like that. She walked over to me and smiled reassuringly, "We'll talk later" She leaned down and gave me a small peck on check before leaving.

"Yeah... later." I sigh as I began launch procedures.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** I apologize that this story took... eh... around three months to _finally _update. I'm truly really sorry. Thank you for the patience and those who kept hanging in there. I'm hoping the next chapter won't take as long to update. I'm giving myself deadline of February 22(which is my birthday) or sooner. But, no later than that date. School is just very stressing, so I have to set aside everything else for a while. Since, 'Reviewer Response' are no longer aloud, there won't be any this time. I will still respond to all future reviews using that 'reply to reviewers' feature, of course. But, I still want to thank all the reviewers who took the time to leave me a review. You guys rock massively! Especially, **Ewanlover64**, **Trillian4210**, and **Kuramas Girl Angel**. Stay tuned for chapter 15, which will deal with the final events of Malachor. Thanks for reading and see you all in the next chapter. 


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